User Controls

So, um, I've had a homeless tweaker passed out on my living room floor for 14 hours now

  1. #61
    Probably not a good idea to do that if it's your toilet.
  2. #62
    Archer513 African Astronaut
    When’s trash day?
  3. #63
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Used an outhouse the other day and looked down in the pit and there was this shit log in there literally the size of a soup can around. I just stood there, staring at it, wondering if I should even piss on it, and imagining the size of the ass it must have come from.
  4. #64
    Originally posted by -SpectraL Used an outhouse the other day and looked down in the pit and there was this shit log in there literally the size of a soup can around. I just stood there, staring at it, wondering if I should even piss on it, and imagining the size of the ass it must have come from.

    what was it's length?
  5. #65
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    He got a fairly decent looking, kinda fun to party with, 20 year old gal out somehow.

    Last night was actually a lot of fun.

    No sleep yet since Sunday night, but shes coming back in a bit and she's kind of a down ass bitch.
  6. #66
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    Wake him up & tell him to shower real quick.
  7. #67
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    He's out for half an hour so I'm taking a rectal meth dose.

    Drinking a beer too and listening to system of a down (sugar).

    His chick flat out said they were Platonic, but was kinda making moves on both of us.

    She kept asking me for xanax tho so my Spidey MeToo Sense was tingling.

    She got really flirty but pretty much just nodded off from the benzos.

    Friend and I returned to talking business.

    We're actually legit gonna start a business together. Like who would have thunk it?

    This cluster fuck is just getting more and more interesting.
  8. #68
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    i hope this cluster fuck doesn't blow up in your face bromo.

    funny story about bums/ meth heads.. back in the summer i was doing a lot of meth and would flip out really bad and go to the sullivans houses in my hood to lay low. the girl always wanted to fuck me but i couldn't do it unless she was to pluck her nose hairs. so i'd go to her brothers place that was even closer to drink vodka and chill.. he had this ex tweaker guy living with him.. lol they both had a twin mattress in his room...

    the vodka wasn't working and I went into the dudes room and took the blanket off the transients body and went and locked my self in the guys bathroom and i could here him on the phone saying to his mom "I just want to move from here now, this guy locked himself in my bathroom and this other dude just won't leave"

    so I left and went and fucked his sister and did a bunch of her heroin, ent up od'ing on my bday.

    long story short, i hate drug addicts (or at least co-habitating with them)
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  9. #69
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Man, I ain't been balls deep in a 20 year old kinky cutie in about a coon's age I reckon.

    But I can't interfere when he clearly has a thing for her.

    Fucking bro code.

    I told him to just not bring her ass out in the first place.

    This is some soap opera drama unfolding.

    Do the needs of the many outweigh the needs of my penis?

    I've ruined too many business and professional relationships over a quick dip.

    I guess I'm going with...



    At least, unless she straight up throws herself at me and makes me an offer I just can't refuse.

    Only time will tell.

    Rectal meth kicking in... To-do list mode activated. Genitals in sleep mode.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. #70
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    ^maybe you just don't know how to take a dip... a douple dip if you know i mean cicken..

    EEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEE!
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. #71
    Archer513 African Astronaut
    Hopefully you drew some dicks on his face
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. #72
    Ghost Black Hole
    Take a bunch of bundy it will kill your sex drive
  13. #73
    Originally posted by Lanny tell him you're taking him to a great restaurant on the opposite side of town, make sure he exits the bus first then hop back on as the doors are closing.

    do you not have a car due to moral obligations
  14. #74
    Originally posted by gadzooks Then there was Britney the Native gal. Yet another meth addicted homeless tweaker transient I met through my escort roommate while she was living her.

    She would drop by and tap at my rear window, and I would feel bad for her so I'd let her in for the night. She would sometimes offer like a BJ for $20. The thing is, I've never had a strong enough desire for sex to actually pay for it, but when it's that fucking convenient (she was already sitting on my bed, a couple feet away from me).

    I had to say no.

    But I threw her a few bucks change at least.

    One time, during times of greater prosperity in my life, I gave her like $40 (honestly because I kinda wanted her to leave so I could be alone). It was kinda cute tho because she kissed me and said something along the lines of "I think I'm starting to fall for you".

    To this day, I feel like it's just her survival mechanism, but it was kinda cute, not gonna lie.

    i know that feel.

    i got unsolicited licking by a feral bitch once.

    no, it was a dog.
  15. #75
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby you and i and some of the other gonts should write a collective about our whimsical adventures in a flash fiction style. call it something like "THE DERPADEW FILES" and then profit?!

    making this into tv series will be better. make it 'friends' like.

    and call it 'fiends'.
  16. #76
    Octavian motherfucker
    Is that homeless piece of shit still in your bedroom zooks?

    Commit a hate crime and beat him to death. It's human nature to sense vulnerability and feel the need to help. You should throw away such thoughts and fucking crush him!
  17. #77
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson what was it's length?

    About 8-10 inches long. At least 5 inches thick.
  18. #78
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    starting businesses after 3 day meth binges is ill advised my man. Like highly fucking ill advised. As in I would short that shit for all a fool's willing to go in for in a heart beat.
  19. #79
    Ghost Black Hole
    its a good drug for coming up with ideas though
  20. #80
    Siouxsie_Q African Astronaut
    Originally posted by gadzooks Like, what do I do?

    Check to make sure he's still 'breathing' and if so...usher him kindly to the door with a bag of food and a blanket.
Jump to Top