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So, um, I've had a homeless tweaker passed out on my living room floor for 14 hours now

  1. #81
    Ghost Black Hole
    Tell him you're done with meth and turning to jesus and pull out a bible.. that will scare him off for good
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  2. #82
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by Ghost Tell him you're done with meth and turning to jesus and pull out a bible.. that will scare him off for good

    lol..so true!
  3. #83
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    I don't know how much money you have or how big your house is, but you should cover a room in plastic for the next hobo. If anyone asks you're remodeling. Lure the hobo in there on some pretext, IDK< tell him you might have a job for him if he's wiling to work, then put a garrote around his throat as his back is turned. If you make it a rope one of sufficient thickness he probably won't even bleed. The plastic is just for when shit hits the fan.

    If you have a big cooler you store him there in parts. I suggest bleeding the body in a controlled manner before you start cutting it up. You also don't saw anything off, you get a set of nice butcher knives and cut the tendons at the joints. Disperse the body parts in dumpsters in different cities. Preferably over county and state lines. Don't get rid of everything at once and incorporate the getting rid of the body parts into some sort of routine. If you go to the gym every Friday afternoon take some extra time before coming home.

    If you get anything dirty with blood or bodily fluids. For fucks sake only use bleach after you clean it with biologically active laundry detergent. Let it soak for a while and hopefully the enzymes in the detergent will break down the enzymes in the blood that react with Luminol. Also, if you don't feel like cutting up a body just put it in the tub full off bio-detergent. You'll end up with nice clean bones, it's better than acid. Put the skeleton on display or something, say you bought it at some medical for closure sale.
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  4. #84
    Common De-mominator African Astronaut
    Rape him
  5. #85
    mikeyagain African Astronaut [unalterably regard the persecutor]
    Originally posted by Sophie I don't know how much money you have or how big your house is, but you should cover a room in plastic for the next hobo. If anyone asks you're remodeling. Lure the hobo in there on some pretext, IDK< tell him you might have a job for him if he's wiling to work, then put a garrote around his throat as his back is turned. If you make it a rope one of sufficient thickness he probably won't even bleed. The plastic is just for when shit hits the fan.

    If you have a big cooler you store him there in parts. I suggest bleeding the body in a controlled manner before you start cutting it up. You also don't saw anything off, you get a set of nice butcher knives and cut the tendons at the joints. Disperse the body parts in dumpsters in different cities. Preferably over county and state lines. Don't get rid of everything at once and incorporate the getting rid of the body parts into some sort of routine. If you go to the gym every Friday afternoon take some extra time before coming home.

    If you get anything dirty with blood or bodily fluids. For fucks sake only use bleach after you clean it with biologically active laundry detergent. Let it soak for a while and hopefully the enzymes in the detergent will break down the enzymes in the blood that react with Luminol. Also, if you don't feel like cutting up a body just put it in the tub full off bio-detergent. You'll end up with nice clean bones, it's better than acid. Put the skeleton on display or something, say you bought it at some medical for closure sale.

    Nice think through..
  6. #86
    Technologist victim of incest
    I’m just hoping that Gad doesn’t come back saying something bad happened.
  7. #87
    Octavian motherfucker
    Originally posted by Sophie Disperse the body parts in dumpsters in different cities. Preferably over county and state lines.

    Didn't that gay Canadian porn star do that? Luka Magnota I think his name was. Anyways surely you want ZERO evidence being found no?


  8. #88
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Been awake now since Sunday or Monday. Not sure which.

    Going to Vancouver (trip to the city from the rural parts... like 2 hour transportation time thing).

    I can't do things normal; too fucked up.

    I started kinda playing this bad-ass mysterious gangster role at like 6 AM after the only gal in the place woke up because it was like a pop tart at dinner time in the McCormick house on South Park. Dudes all started macking, flirting, basically turning my living room into an XXX rated porno with additional Tourette's.

    I had to beta-ize myself so I played a role I used to play way back.

    She gave me the rest of her liquor and is going to pick up more crack now, and when she gets back she's coming with me into town.

    It's gonna be quite the trip.

    I promised hotel room and a bunch of other stuff.

    There's like this metaphysical force that takes over when there is a conscious woman and multiple males in the same room.

    They must challenge each other with expressions of true superiority relative to the rest, or it just becomes a fucking dumpster fire of horny pathetic dudes trying and failing to outdo each other.

    The rest are, although friends of mine at this point, a tad too oriented towards the β end of the spectrum, and thus won't take a "big scary spontaneous trip" into the big ol' city.

    I, however, promised one of my city niggas a night on the town and a hotel room full of booze and drugs, and maybe, just maybe some social entertainment of the feminine variety.
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  9. #89
    WellHung Black Hole
    G up, playa. G up. 👍
  10. #90
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Also did a bunch of ketamine, too.

    Want more now, but just bumps. No K-holes.

    I wanna maintain a steady buzz liquor wise during the long bus trip, and conserve the crack reserve until we get to the hotel.

    I have a reputation and image to project, and it's fucking awesome.

    Seriously, if you ever find your life boring, literally invent a character with all the traits and attributes you would like to exhibit, and just take on that role.

    charisma ++;
    female_attention ++;
    respect ++;
    money ++;
    opportunities ++;

    And you get to play around like an artist, redesigning your entire persona, and, in turn, your entire life.
  11. #91
    Octavian motherfucker
  12. #92
    Technologist victim of incest
    So, are all the other people leaving your apartment while you’re gone?
  13. #93
    Cliff notes please, did the 20yr old get fucked yet?
  14. #94
    Octavian motherfucker
    Yeah try and get pics, maybe when she's comatosed from all the dick.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  15. #95
    Technologist victim of incest
    So what’s up Gad? Are they all still there?
  16. #96
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Technologist So what’s up Gad? Are they all still there?

    Original guy is back, and he seems to be passing gas, and snoring, more and more each night.
  17. #97
    Technologist victim of incest
    Are you gonna get back to your peaceful home?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. #98
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Technologist So what’s up Gad? Are they all still there?

    The gal, tho, I'm kinda developing a romantic attraction to.

    However, it turns out she might just be a textbook sadistic, self-serving, thot.

    She's also a real handful.

    I'm well known for the scope of my psychoactive drug experimentation. This chick, though, makes it an every day habit of combining ~5+ unique psychoactive compounds.

    And then there's the blatant manipulation. She frequently tends to pull a George Costanza and leave items behind at my apartment worth tracking down.

    By leaving things like a literal liter of whiskey at 4 AM because she suddenly needs to leave, or her cute little gold-colored cat ears headband or a pair of sunglasses, etc (Thus leaving me impatiently awaiting her prompt return that might - which of course seldom happens), she has me in a perpetual state of expectation of her return.

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  19. #99
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Technologist Are you gonna get back to your peaceful home?

    Even after the original male guest leaves (by this April 1st), the young lady I met as a result of his stay may never leave me with a sense of peace. :(.
  20. Common De-mominator African Astronaut
    Rape him
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