2018-04-23 at 2:38 AM UTC
I'm thinking about taking a trip beforehand to the regional park I'll choose to die in and go through the entire ritual. I won't take the entire cocktail, but I will take a high enough dose of benzos to make me pass out, so I can go through the process of what the final moments will feel like, staying there overnight. I'll post pics to prove I'm serious. I'm also thinking about having something custom made to honor Schopenhauer, my final place being marked with the quote, "Nothing can be stated as the aim of our existence except the knowledge that it would be better for us not to exist. - Arthur Schopenhauer". Maybe I'll leave the 2 volumes of "The World as Will and Representation" there as well, protected from the elements.
Does anyone remember that time I got lost in a regional park for 2 days and barely made it out of there? Took LSD, potentiated by methylene blue, and kept climbing higher and higher until it was too dark to find my way back, didn't know I could access free GPS from my phone, had to hide somewhere and build a small wind shield by digging in the dirt, using leaves as cushioning, then scare off a pack of coyotes in case they attacked me. Severely dehydrated, without food, legs right on the verge of collapsing.
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2018-04-23 at 4:51 AM UTC
Originally posted by Malice
I'm thinking about taking a trip beforehand to the regional park I'll choose to die in and go through the entire ritual. I won't take the entire cocktail, but I will take a high enough dose of benzos to make me pass out, so I can go through the process of what the final moments will feel like, staying there overnight. I'll post pics to prove I'm serious. I'm also thinking about having something custom made to honor Schopenhauer, my final place being marked with the quote, "Nothing can be stated as the aim of our existence except the knowledge that it would be better for us not to exist. - Arthur Schopenhauer". Maybe I'll leave the 2 volumes of "The World as Will and Representation" there as well, protected from the elements.
Does anyone remember that time I got lost in a regional park for 2 days and barely made it out of there? Took LSD, potentiated by methylene blue, and kept climbing higher and higher until it was too dark to find my way back, didn't know I could access free GPS from my phone, had to hide somewhere and build a small wind shield by digging in the dirt, using leaves as cushioning, then scare off a pack of coyotes in case they attacked me. Severely dehydrated, without food, legs right on the verge of collapsing.
Yes i remember. And what a drama queen you are with your quotes, are you literally my father? When he tried to off himself he wrote some quote on the mirror then slit his wrists, what a drama queen he is. You'll notice i am not speaking in past tense of him because he failed not once but twice. Imagine being such a loser that you can't even properly kill yourself. One of his hands is paralyzed now. Good. He deserves it.
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2018-04-23 at 5:04 AM UTC
Went to the therapist today. Thought it was going to be a bunch of bullshit and a waste of time, but even he admitted normal psychology is bullshit. VERY experienced an intelligent doctor who knew everything I was referring to. Good session. Nothing like the one I used to go to, who wanted me to take anti-depressants and could never answer my questions, just asked them back to me like Obbe.
2018-04-23 at 5:40 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie
There's an Icelandic lullaby that i think Enter would like. It's called "Móðir mín í kví, kví" and it's about this woman that got pregnant out of wedlock, however she likes this noble guy(Basically medieval version of Chad, CUNT!) and since it is socially unacceptable to have a child out of wedlock during the time the song takes place in and because once the guy she likes would find out she would blow all her chances with him. She buries her young child alive killing it. Some time later, apparently the noble guy has invited her to a ball. So as she is looking for something to wear on her big night she suddenly hears the voice of the child she killed say: Why don't you wear the rags you buried me in mommy? Which is actually sung as part of the lullaby.
Lol, she got haunted or killing her child, obviously ruining date night for her.
Other than that the whole lullaby is pretty eerie but i like it.
mfw
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2018-04-23 at 6:51 AM UTC
Just dropped another one of my classes. I'm going through with it.
I choose freedom.
2018-04-23 at 6:54 AM UTC
Zanick
motherfucker
[my p.a. supernal goa]
You can still probably get back in if you tell your teachers what's going on. I think you'd be surprised by their kindness. If not, a true bodhisattva would probably suicide by letting a bear eat him in a national park rather than overdosing on drugs where it won't do anybody good.
2018-04-23 at 7:01 AM UTC
Their teachings were incomplete. You can go beyond what they ascertained.
Make the choice to be evil.
I no longer have any desire to attempt to have others understand my views. Yes, I am communicating right now, but for different reasons. It's merely passing the time.
I want my final months to be as comfortable, free from suffering, as possible.
At the end everyone's life, if they're aware of what will soon come, they have to come to terms with death and develop the courage to embrace it. I'm simply going through this process much sooner than normal. That's what I want to devote my time to, to preparing for what's coming.
“Death is not an evil, because it frees us from all evils, and while it takes away good things, it takes away also the desire for them. Old age is the supreme evil, because it deprives us of all pleasures, leaving us only the appetite for them, and it brings with it all sufferings. Nevertheless, we fear death, and we desire old age.” ― Giacomo Leopardi
The trouble with suicide is that you always kill yourself too late, but the earlier, the better. I'm opting out of this utter fool's errand.
I want to stop wanting anything.
2018-04-23 at 7:10 AM UTC
Originally posted by Zanick
You're not fooling me with your false repression of desire, you're more covetous than you ever were. If you back out of your plan now, you have hope. If you back out in a month, you'll have guilt.
The latter is 100% for sure what's going to happen. The idiot is going to back out, like he should, but he's being moronic and fucking up his life beforehand, so that when he realizes he doesn't want to die, he's going to be 10x worse off than he was.
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2018-04-23 at 7:23 AM UTC
How is that edgy? It's just me saying, earnestly, that I don't give a fuck. I don't care what happens after I pass.
Can't you relate to how liberating that must be?
Do you want to better the world? Make a difference? Improve the lives of others? Alleviate suffering?
Are you worried about where your life is headed and whether you're doing the right thing?
Well tough luck, you're on your own.
Suicide is a triumph. You're going against the strongest forces of this biological prison, embracing ideas that the vast majority are terrified to discuss, to even delve into to any considerable depth in the privacy of their own mind, concepts that your body naturally responds to by screaming that it cannot be so.
The strongest act of devotion to your ideals is sacrificing yourself for them. I choose truth, and the truth is death.
2018-04-23 at 7:25 AM UTC
Serious questions, Lanny, simply out of curiosity.
Have you ever been profoundly suicidal, as in you were seriously contemplating the option for a prolonged period of time?
Would you say that up until this point your life has been "worth it"? That it was worth all the suffering and hardship, or would you prefer never to have been if this is as good as it gets?
Even if you retire early, do you feel there's a very high chance you're simply going to end up empty and disillusioned, severely depressed?
2018-04-23 at 7:27 AM UTC
If you kill yourself, they've won. Society has done nothing but constantly brainwash the human into disrespecting themselves and making them want to commit suicide. People may not literally kill themselves, but they subconsciously want to die and express this through drinking alcohol, doing drugs, etc.
Don't let them win, Malice.
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