Originally posted by Ghost
That's guy asked to see my penis more than Bradley b
Yeah he was sad he missed me skinny dipping bc he said hed always wanted to see a legendary cock in the wild but i said its like unicorns n double rainbows bro v wade u just gotta keep ur eyes open for the nextsighting
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FET LIFE THATS WHAT ALL THE PEOPLE SAAAAAAY RAN OFF TO FLORIDA TURNED OUT REAL GAY BUT I KNOW ILL BE OVER THE MOOOOOON WHEN MY ASSHOLE HEALS BY THIS COMIN JUUUUUNE
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Originally posted by I Live In Your Crawlspace Secretly4
Also oppey that reminds me of the Latina at the gas station in Garden City who customer-serviced me too. She said she wasn't allowed to give her number out because of store policy so I wrote mine down for her and she never called me dude she just threw it away
I got u walley come thru lets install some heater pipes n then paint the town Red with the dividends
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Originally posted by RIPtotse
Bro i wanna hook u up with a chick lol. If u lived here itd be so e z
I am the best wingman. Ask Tort. He was ready to scare 2 women off with his raw animal instinct and i rolled up and had them taking off their clothes and drinking tequila in the ocean within a half hour of them calling him a creep. My energy is unparalleled.
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Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson
The best wingmen/wingwomen are always the fat ugly ones…they make you look like the hot one.
being fatter isnt the secret recipe. Im always more likeable and more charming. And taller. They asked which one of them i liked better but i extolled torts virtues and told them he did underwater demolitions during the osama bin lader raid and they laughed and then we talked about politics and biomedical research and they took their tops off. If he hadnt had to take his drunk friend home, tort wouldve banged.
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Originally posted by Sudo
Dam mang I didn't know you was onnit like Dat, r u still PUMPING and SLAMMING? If not, you're likely more productive with the side windows than you need to be nahmean. Just chill out, smoke some shatter and hash and take some gabbiea and everything be alright 👍
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Originally posted by aldra
I'm at my grandmother's place, it's depressing as shit because she's not well and the property is totally overgrown.
grandfather put a lot of work into it in the 10-20 years before he died, now there's not a whole lot left. I've been trying to help clean it up but it's not going to last.
it's around 1am and there are big possums rampaging around on the roof, it sounds like there are little kids up there running on the tiles.
one of the dogs got into a fight with a massive wombat recently; the dog was biting the shit out of it so the wombat rammed him into a tree and fucked up his leg. the other one had a run in with a snake but didn't get bitten.
One of my gamertags used to be CombatWombat
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Originally posted by Donald Trump
The flights I was trying to book have expired (they were free Credit Card reward ones). The reason I was fighting with her is because they were due to expire today, so I was begging her to tell me.
I told her on WhatsApp. She says sorry.
I get why she wouldn't tell me, I thought she was 37 and I think she knew I had no idea she was over 40.
I had to fap last night. It's about a week since the last time I last had sex with her.
It's been real, but probably time to end this one.
Thank god. Its depressing ME. idk how hideous you think you are, but theres always someone else. She doesnt seem to value you as a human being, and she certainly doesnt seem to enjoy being with you sexually. Prostitutes would be cheaper at this point.
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tell the government youve impregnated a native woman and youre now owed child support for all the kids they raped n put u der the catholic churches or something
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I started out as security and then i was supposed to be an extra at the bar and by the time id had 8 whiskeys the directpr asked me to play a cop arresting someone.
This movie gonna be DOGSHIT LOLOL
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Yeah i dont waste cum. Either its going in her cunt or on her tongue. I worked hard to make that stuff im not just gonna waste it blowi g a load on a titty
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Originally posted by aldra
your other option is to ride your motorbike in the front doors and down the muffler aisle, snatch her up and take her to your trailer park junk fortress by force
Just burn rubber in circles next to the entrance, make her wear the one sweaty helmet on the way to starbucks and then when it comes time to pay, be like “you have that gift card, right?”
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Originally posted by Kafka
What's startling is after the trainwreck my life has been I'm still saner than the lot of you. I feel like I've gone through the looking glass.
rofl. lmao.
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