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2019-09-09 at 8:52 AM UTC in I wish that I had Jessie's girlSo this weekend, a few of my friends went camping, but I said no because I'm radically introverted and can't stand long, multi-day periods around other people.
But then one of my friends had car troubles and had to go up a day late, and was ready and willing to pick me up on the way (I live in the boonies so it's always on the way).
Anyway, when they get here, the first thing I notice is my friend's girlfriend's ass in those yoga pants (gnomesayin?).
But I also respect the heck out of her. And of course I respect the heck out of my friend.
His gf and I get drunk during the drive up, then when we get there, we all drink and even do some shrooms. A thunderstorm at a dark beach made it especially interesting.
The next day, we get back into town, and I invite my friend and his gf over for a few drinks.
She literally cleaned my apartment.
Like... I don't know how she does it so efficiently, but every time she comes over (she does this all the time), she just transforms my apartment from a sketchy as fuck trap house into a beautiful zen palace.
I'm so damn jealous, but he is a close friend that I care about and respect, so I'm happy for his happiness.
But damn.
Why can't I find a woman like that? -
2019-09-07 at 12:43 PM UTC in eBagger searches for Cocaine brought in by Dorian on the coastHowdy niggas
eBagger back atcha wit anotha hot fiya search fo' that sweet barrier island coco!
I've been pretty sober over the past year, thus accounting for my lack of blockbuster, 2-thumbs up, critically acclaimed, 5-star threads. Cause when I'm crunk I'm usually more active for some reason.
ANYWAY.
I was at my buddies house when I was tracking the storm, and I stumbled across this little piece of news...
So even though I'm on the North Carolina coast, I thought to myself...it's worth a go!!
So early morning as soon as the sun came out, and the tide came out, I paddled out to the barrier island in search of large amount of Cocaine bricks, or any other narcotic.
I forgot my camera, as I wasn't thinking of making a thread on it, but I came across some cool stuff too big to haul back, but of no real value. One being a giant Coast Guard Buoy washed up on shore. It looks almost exactly like this, huge enough for me to climb on, with a solar light on top, and a giant bin with 2-inch wide bolts holding it shut.
I may update the thread this weekend or early next week with whats inside, as it will take some work, but with one of those giant wrenches meant for working on diesel engines, or maybe even a plumbers wrench and some WD-40 could be enough to break the rusted bolts.
I asked my friend to ask her husband, who is in the coast guard what are in these suckers. I was told "nothing", and warned of the dangers of tampering with Government property. HAH. I said BITCH...don't restrict my freedom of adventure! Not really, but I was like "oh".
and I did say I give 0 hoots about that shit, and the government does shit I don't agree with all the time fuck their buoys. Of course if it serious this is all in minecraft, and the pictures I upload will be slightly blocky LOL
NOW. For the treasure!
I was disappointed honestly, but I believe either a shipment of sunglasses went overboard, or its just random but considering the amount of sunglasses I found it seemed to be a small shipment went overboard somewhere. I walked the course of a few miles, and every quarter mile I would find a pair of sunglasses. They were full of barnacles but I've been soaking them and they seem to come clean. I got about 6-8 useable pair of sunglasses and some snorkels and a snorkel mouthpiece. I can't make out the brands on some, one of them being Under Armor.
Getting hot and eaten alive by giant island flies, I decided to head back, not totally disappointed as I have a buoy to check out, and found some cool stuff to look at and glasses.
I came across a lone man walking, and he yelled something indecipherable to me, I walked over and asked him "wha?"
--"Ah g'day! I thought you were Bills son my bad, I'm Mark good to meetcha!"
"Ah Gday Mark!"
--"Oy these flies'll take a chunk out of ya Christ"
"You ain't lyin Mark, hazards everywhere out here, watch the broken glass!"
--"Oh will do mate, good luck on your search!"
This fella seemed Australian, and feisty, I might as well joke with him about what I'm lookin for, since he seemed to inquire I was indeed "searching" for something
"Yeah man, I'm on the search alright, I read a bunch of Cocaine bricks washed up on Florida, I'm seein if theres any stragglers!"
--"AHH HAHAHAHH IS THAT ROIGHT HAHA"
--"True story I went to Belize with my brother walking on the beach, and I found a bale THIS BIG *does giant box shape with hands* of Pot! Couldn't take it on the plane of course but boy was that something"
"Thats awesome! Thanks for the inspiration!"
--"Yezzir good luck!"
AHA Finding another mate who'd successfully found kush on the beach. Maybe there was still a chance!
I return to my landing area, then, not 20 meters from where I landed, I spotted a box in the distance....
OH YEAH! JACKPOT!
A functional military box! It was heavy too! I was too excited, but too exhausted as well, so I tossed my loot in the kayak and headed back.
Upon eating mac and cheese and showering, I opened the box hoping for anything cool from the military really, but unfortunately the only thing stuffed in there was empty ammo boxes, and a couple of papa johns pizza plates.
Thats about it. I'll update if I get the energy and motivation to head back and open the buoy.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-09-04 at 11:01 PM UTC in I'm hornyme too dotty, i mean thotty. I'm actually going to attend a gang bang this weekend for the first time. This girl I used to hang out with is throwing a party all expenses on her to gang bang her, she's a total weeb. She's bragged to me about how she's taken bigger dicks up her asshole than mine. So I'm going to do a bunch of theatrics and stuff it in her so hard she bleeds which would probably happen anyways even if I went at a normal pace because I'm packing. AAAAHHHH YEAAAH TIGHT FUCKING CHEEKS! As I throw my arms up in the air as I'm still thrusting eyes rolling back into my skull getting off not her but the actual act of what I'm doing and thinking about myself.
Dare to take the rational pill fam?
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-08-30 at 6:09 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
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2019-08-27 at 10:34 AM UTC in I am profoundly dissatisfied with lifeThis is it? Really? Fuck you. 2 stars.
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2019-08-26 at 2:38 PM UTC in I haven't had sex in a while, should I go to a hooker?OK, just back. I was surprised by how businesslike the whole thing was. Feel very glad I did it.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-08-26 at 3:50 AM UTC in Proof Marylin Manroe was offed.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-08-26 at 3:32 AM UTC in Proof Marylin Manroe was offed.like I'd definitely whack right the fuck off to Marilyn (sic) monroe getting plowed in the library with the candlestick by professor gren or whatever I can't believe you'd bring this up and not post itThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-08-24 at 9:13 PM UTC in What Are You Smoking on Right Now SPACE NIGGA!
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2019-08-24 at 2:16 PM UTC in What Are You Smoking on Right Now SPACE NIGGA!I woke up high on methThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-08-22 at 4:32 PM UTC in Who is the greatest drug dealer on here?i'm the worst drug dealer here, I gave people amazing deals like $40 quarters of quality indoor, I would sell dubs, take change, barter, take stolen goods. I'm paranoid about herpes so I don't like sharing joints, I roll two joints and give you one to test it.
My ounces were 30 grams. In the end everyone took my kindness for weakness and tried to fuck me over
I might have been the worst dealer but I had the last laugh
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-08-22 at 12:30 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionThe pickup owner got "spooked" alrightThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-08-21 at 10:12 PM UTC in What would you doshe'd end with a date inside a barrel of sodium hydroxide.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-08-21 at 9:57 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionI bang fat chicks exclusively. They always have food in the fridge... 65% of the time they have it all the time.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-08-21 at 12:43 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionZooming on Tek my dear TekThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-08-21 at 12:58 AM UTC in Ever click on latest threads and decide its time to do some clothes shopping?
know what im sayinThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-08-21 at 12:45 AM UTC in I was just thinking about Bill Krozby and how chill he is really cool guy and thenwho here isn't a combination of both though
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2019-08-20 at 12:51 AM UTC in Random image threadP O O N S L A GThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-08-19 at 11:31 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro EditionIt's been around for like 2 monthsThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-08-19 at 9:19 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
