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Posts by RestStop
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2017-07-05 at 8:17 PM UTC in Worst metal band in the world
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2017-07-05 at 8:14 PM UTC in Investing in QuartzMove to Australia it's outside everywhere there.
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2017-07-05 at 8:01 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSJust talked to my nigga Bigmuscles beta bay is coming back soon.
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2017-07-05 at 7:58 PM UTC in We have stairs in my housePics of stairs or this whole thread is a lie.
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2017-07-05 at 7:17 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-07-05 at 7:08 PM UTC in Worst metal band in the world^Yeah that dude was seriously mentally ill. I mean there's obviously "fake" crazy famous people like ICP and Twiztid but I don't think smearing your own shit on your face is still in the facade side of things. I forget how he died heroin overdose maybe? Anyways he definitely didn't skimp on the "entertainment" aspect of his concerts.
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2017-07-05 at 6:46 PM UTC in Worst metal band in the worldidk why but I'm reminded of this guy his music I never found all that great but the lyrics are okay also I should state NSFW
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2017-07-05 at 5:59 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by 霍比特人 Just saw a girl at school scratch her cunt. Its somehow so much dirtier when a girl does it. At least guys you know they're just adjusting something but she was like itching up there with a pencil behind her laptop. Maybe she had a yeast infection.
Do you think "Hey baby u need some fluconazole?" is a good pickup line?
That's not a bad one to start off with brah. I however usually go with the old tried and true "Hey is your Dad a thief? Because I saw him stealing from Walmart last week." -
2017-07-05 at 5:53 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSWe all have our guilty pleasures in the world of food. While most people love sweets and chocolates, my sugary fix has always been bread. I'm no connoisseur by any means, but I couldn't form words for my love for a fresh loaf of bread. Well, that was until a few years ago. Where, ironically enough, I bought my last loaf of bread.
It was around 10:30 at night when I felt my body's craving set it. That hunger that isn't a true hunger, but a facade that your mind provides that tells you one thing. "I need food."
I quickly made my way to the kingdom that protects my food, but was rewarded with nothing. Ice cream and long forgotten cereal greeted me, but I would not return their welcoming gaze. I wanted one thing, and they lacked a certain amount of wheat content.
I am sure you can all relate to a late night dilemma where you decide if the drive to the store is worth it or not. Whether it be for some much needed sleeping pills, or the infamous "You're not you when you're hungry and sleepy" Snickers. In my case, my only aid for true slumber was going to be bread. Sweet, buttery bread.
I grabbed my keys without hesitation and was driving beneath the city lights within minutes. Late night adventures provide a lot of closed stores, but I was fortunate enough to live in a largely populated city. Did you know there a place in Las Vegas that delivers cheeseburgers at 3:00 AM? What a time to live.
I digress.
It was just after midnight when I skidded to a halt in the handicapped spot closest to the door. (I'm a piece of shit, sue me. Grandma isn't shopping at midnight.)
It was a small mom and pop bakery that was open for another thirty minutes. I couldn't understand the language the name said, only that the word "Bakery" was stamped on a window. It wasn't a popular place by the looks of it, but as long as I got my fix, I didn't care.
I burst into the joint like I owned the place, my walk confident and my goal clear. I addressed the woman with a polite smile, bowing my head.
"Evening! Got any fresh bread?" I said, forcing a smile.
She looked up from her crossword puzzle, raising a brow. Under other circumstances, I might have gawked at her simple beauty. Her skin was dark and flawless. One of those girls that looked extraordinary in a simple outfit, no makeup, etc. I pushed my attraction to her out of the way. My goal was simpler than potential mates.
The girl gave me a odd look, eyeing me up and down.
"Not really, but I was just about to throw this Naan out." She began before I intervened.
"I'll take it. How much?" I asked, my eagerness making me forget myself.
She smirked as she reached into the case to grab the wrapped bread.
"No charge. Would've thrown it away anyway. We don't usually have customers that look like you." She said, smiling as she handed over the bread.
I grabbed it quickly, giving my thanks with a nod. I chose to ignore her words, assuming she meant the color of my skin.
"Have a good life, sir." She said, chuckling as I nearly stumbled out the door.
The drive home was long and annoying. I'm not one to eat in a car, no matter how hungry I am. I have to enjoy my food in a nice chair. Which is where my rear was firmly planted not thirty minutes later.
The bread itself wasn't anything special. It's odor was lovely, seemingly fresh despite its age. The exterior was slightly hard, but still gave way to the firmness of my grasp. It would suffice as my late night indulgence.
I sunk my teeth into the softness as a wolf would a sheep's neck. The taste, even in its stale state, was divine. The small flatbread was gone within moments and was soon followed by drowsiness and satisfied sighs. I slept like a child on Ambien.
The effects weren't too noticeable at first. I was a little pale in the morning, but I shrugged it off. I was already pretty white, so nothing was too noticeable. It wasn't until later that day that I noticed more severe signs.
I tasted the bitter sweet taste of blood in my mouth as I ascended the stairs to my apartment. It swished in my mouth as I made my way to the restroom sink, spitting the content into the running water. The crimson color faded quickly as I began to examine my mouth.
My gums were leaking blood in the spaces between each of my teeth. Bloody gums aren't too uncommon, but I'm a regular flosser and I brush my teeth twice a day. My gums weren't THAT sensitive.
Within an hour, two of my teeth had fallen out. That's when I made my way to the emergency room. I was hyperventilating in the car as I made my way there. A red mist splattered against my windshield when a heavy cough escaped my throat. My mind was racing with explanations at this point. None of them relevant to the actual cause of my bleeding.
"I need help!" I managed to scream at a nurse, interrupting her smoke break.
She quickly threw her cigarette down, running to my side. I wasn't weak, but the shock of the situation was taking all the strength away from my legs. She propped me up with surprising strength and before I knew it I was on a gurney.
There was an assortment of blood tests, physical exams, and samples of flesh taken. I thought I was in good hands. That was before my room was quarantined. My freak out meter went from rational to holy shit-fuck pretty quickly.
In the span of six hours, the effects began to get more and more severe. Where it had started in my mouth, there were now scabs forming all around my body. I was bleeding from every orifice, just enough for it to be noticeable but not enough for me to lose consciousness.
They had a steady flow on O Negative hooked up to me, but it only seemed to prolong my inevitable decay into death. Even I pieced together that I was being eaten alive, or dissolved by some foreign chemical.
Regardless of the cause, I knew I was dying. You can't lose that much blood and look as bad as I did and not know your days are numbered. And the pain. I hadn't got to that part.
It was a new form of pain I had never experienced. My flesh was liquifying before my eyes and the doctors and CDC couldn't tell me what it was. I was degrading at such a speed that soon there would be no hope for recovery. The doctors were blunt at my request. I had a couple days left.
And then a miracle happened. The doctors discovered what was causing the damage.
There is a species of microscopic insects that have a name too long for me to understand. They're lifespan is extremely short, but their reproduction speed is alarmingly fast. Apparently, I had let these little things in via my mouth, and they quickly crawled their way into my bloodstream.
And they fed. And then they reproduced. And where one died, their offspring would would take their place. I was being eaten alive by some Indian flesh eating bug. They discovered it on a whim. Thankfully one of the doctors did a overseas mission in India. He's the one that caught it and administered the medicine that would flush them out.
I recovered, slowly. My muscles had not deteriorated to the point of no return, but I would never be the same. I have been horribly scarred, both physically and mentally. But that isn't the end of things.
After my recovering, I was driving around one day and happened upon the very same bakery I had found. I would have shrugged it off, but I saw something that I hadn't seen in the darkness of the night.
I saw the name of the shop, written in Hindi. Google translate is a hell of a tool. You can imagine my horror when I discovered that they weren't an ordinary bakery. They were a bakery focused on helping people with weight loss.
"Lose half your body mass, guaranteed!"
This horrifying realization pushed me to translate the rest of their signs. Most of it was the same stuff, promises of weight loss. The last one, in big red letters, gave me a mixture of emotions. Horror, anger, frustration, and at last, humor.
"Must return to cease weight loss!"
I fucking hate bread. -
2017-07-05 at 5:43 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSIt's always so disappointing when that movie is on tv and they cut out the curb stomp part. Also because I'm too lazy what is this? Did Trump go HAM on CNN?
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2017-07-05 at 5:40 PM UTC in King of The Hill What If'sI was in a goodwill store to buy some N64 games, because that store normally had a good stock of Retro Games. However, I strolled over to the VHS section in the back, just then remembering that I owned a VCR.
One of the first things I saw was the Titanic VHS tapes, the one that came in 2 tapes but it was in one dust cover. I thought that it would be a good movie for me and the wife, as she had never seen it before. To ensure that the tapes would be functional, I took one of the tapes out of the dual VHS dust cover, only to see something unexpected.
It was a VHS tape with a crooked sticker on it. Written in sharpie was "KOTH S1E1NR". I inspected the other tape, and it said "KOTH S1E1NRP2". I assumed it was part two. I did not know why one 22-23 minute episode took two VHS tapes, but I was curious. I bought the two tapes for $2.22.
When I got home, nobody was there but me. Therefore, I had to take up the painstaking process of uncoiling the stiff coax cables and the bulky VCR. I soon tuned the TV to channel 3, and began viewing KOTH S1E1NR.
It had the regular opening of the first episode of King of the Hill, but without the music. It was just a silent camera panning over the city of Arlen. It began normally after that, with Bobby at the baseball game, and Hank yelling at him. As we all know, Bobby did not succeed.
This is where everything started getting weird.
On the ride home Hank, Peggy and Bobby were completely silent, and this went on for about three minutes. No one was angry; no one had any expression actually. Abruptly, as the family pulls into the drive way, it cut to a scene inside the house.
Hank was yelling at Bobby for not "giving the 110%". Hank then picked up the baseball and got into a throwing position. At this point, the video quality was getting very scraggly, and the volume level was raised roughly 10%. Hank pegged the ball and it hit Bobby's nose. Peggy was seen in the background crying, and Hank simply told her to "shut the hell up." Bobby immediately cupped his nose and ran out of the room, crying the whole way.
As Bobby was in the bathroom checking his nose, a social worker came to the door. Peggy greeted him as Hank sat on the sofa, relaxing as if nothing happened. From this point, the colors began to look more like the real episode. The scene with Hank telling the social worker off played as it did in the real episode. Suddenly, the scene from the officially aired episode cut to another scene, which was not from the real episode.
It was a scene with more ragged video, yet the audio remained the same. This scene depicted Peggy sitting on the phone late at night, most likely contacting Child Services to tell them about how Hank purposely threw the baseball at Bobby. Hank suddenly walked through the doorway. He was in a bathrobe, and had no glasses. He grabbed the phone.
"WHO THE HELL IS THIS?" Hank yelled.
"This is the department of Child Services," was the response.
Hank's face quickly turned red, and slammed the phone back on the wall. He grasped Peggy by the neck.
"YOU GONNA GET MORE OF THOSE TWIG BOYS OVER HERE TO PUT ME IN PRISON AND TAKE MY BOY AWAY?!" he howled.
The scene cut to Hank taking Peggy by the back of the neck down the hallway to the backyard. Hank took a propane tank off of the grill, and shoved the valve into Peggy's mouth. The video then went silent for a minute, simply showing the propane valve in Peggy's mouth. When the scene started moving again, Peggy's eyes slowly close, and a voice was heard.
"Buck Strickland, forgive me for using Propane for this."
The only problem was that when Hank said this, Hank did not even sound like Mike Judge, the creator of the show who voiced Hank. It sounded like an older and deeper voice.
The screen went black after this. I fast forwarded through the rest of the tape, to make sure there was no more content on it. There was none. I just thought to myself, "Why so much wasted space?", and at this point I was really shaken up. I went to grab a coffee. When I got back, I popped in the second tape. It was just a black screen.
I fast forwarded to check for content, and eventually came across some stuff that was really starting to scare me. It was a funeral, but there was very few colors. There was only various forms of gray and black, and the colors of peoples' faces. It just did not seem like a real KOTH episode.
The funeral was for Peggy. Attending it was all of the Hill's neighbors, including some acquaintances such as Cotton and John Redcorn. Even Hank was there, claiming that Peggy had committed suicide. As Peggy's coffin was lowered into the hole, it faded into an overhead view of it being lowered.
This part really scared the shit out of me.
It was a somewhat highly realistic image of Peggy in the coffin. The reason I say somewhat, is because it looked real, but still appeared to be drawn, and not a real person. It was just a realistic cartoon. The scene then cut to Bobby, Hank, and Ladybird sitting on a porch. Bobby had a queasy face, and Hank had one hand on the propane tank that he used to commit the murder. Bobby turned to his father.
"Why...did you do it dad?" he asked, in a humble voice.
"I don't know, son," Hank responded. He almost sounded like he was crying.
He then stood up and walked inside, leaving Bobby and Ladybird who were still on the porch.
It once again cut to a very dull scene, with nothing but black, gray, and the skin colors. It was a scene that literally made me sick to my stomach.
It was Hank, hanging from the ceiling, with a note pinned on him. It just stayed focused on him swinging back and forth for two minutes or so. It then cut to the ending credits, with the normal outro and theme music.
I was actually kind of laughing on the inside at the fact that the show was playing the regular ending credits, after all that stuff happened. I was really more confused and creeped out at it. I went on some forums, but found nothing about this episode.
However, I came across someone on Yahoo Answers who had a similar occurrence as me. They received a similar tape at a thrift shop in John's Creek County in North Georgia, a place about 20 miles away from where I got mine. I managed to get on AIM with this person, but I got no answers.
I was really curious at this point, so I drove about 40 miles and went right down to Cartoon Network/Turner Broadcasting HQ. I knew that Fox Broadcasting made the show, but I assumed Cartoon Network had every episode on record, as they aired them all.
Beforehand, I did some research and figured out who was in charge of broadcasting KOTH, so I found a receptionist in the studio and demanded to talk to him. Apparently though, I needed a guest pass of some sort.
I was completely pissed off at this point, so I drove back home and put on my old sheriff's uniform (I was a sheriff for John's Creek County about three years ago). I went back, and although it is unlawful, I used my badge to talk to him.
When I got into his office, he was just sitting at his desk talking on his phone. I walked up to him, threw the tapes on his desk and demanded answers. He dropped the phone immediately, and grabbed the tapes.
I followed him to another office on the other side of the building. There was a small safe in this office. He opened it up, put the tapes in, and locked it. He then told me to leave.
I did not want to act like a sheriff anymore because I did not want to get in trouble with the law, so I left. I got home and flipped on the TV. Adult Swim was on, and I was relieved to see a real episode of King of the Hill.
To this day, there are only two copies of this episode on four tapes, that I can find anything about on the internet. One of them I assume is still locked up in Cartoon Network Studios.
You may possibly come across more of them in thrift shops throughout the southeast. -
2017-07-05 at 5:33 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSWe Regret to Inform You That Fidget Spinners Are Now Exploding
After transitioning from an obscure curiosity to a ubiquitous annoyance in record time, fidget spinners finally completed the 21st century novelty toy cycle this month, becoming something that could potentially burn down your house. According to local news reports, at least two bluetooth-enabled spinners have now burst into flames while charging, may god have mercy on us all.
Mothers in Michigan and Alabama shared remarkably similar stories about the toys, both of which had internal batteries to power bluetooth speakers (because of course they have those now). In each case, the device was plugged into an outlet when it caught fire, melting the spinner and scorching the surface below.
“We were about five or 10 minutes from leaving the house for the day. [My son] noticed it burst into flames and he started screaming,” Kimberly Allums of Gardendale, Alabama, told WBRC. “I was downstairs and all I heard was, ‘fire, fire.’ The fidget spinner wasn’t smoking, it was in flames.” -
2017-07-05 at 5:16 PM UTC in Coming across a porn clip of someone you know/have met.I seriously thought John Holmes got murdered by coke dealers. Could have been a troll I read though. TBH I think it was on zoklet too..so yeah basically it was the equivalent of asking a 6th grader what happened to him.
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2017-07-05 at 5:14 PM UTC in cutting a girls pussy open then drinking a chalice of her tearsTL;DR
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2017-07-05 at 4:57 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-07-05 at 4:33 PM UTC in Depression is boring.Drink mah piss dawg.
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2017-07-05 at 4:26 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSLooks like betabay is gone.
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2017-07-05 at 1:09 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSFuck a job, I'm tryna get rich
Want to see the diamonds on my wrist
Get a little money, your family switch
(Remember when they thought I wasn't gonna be shit)
Now they wanna call me 'cause I got some change dawg
(Telling me, "you changed dawg")
I ain't doing this shit for the fame dawg
Just love when I put my chain on
The feeling that I get, when I'm laced up in Baguettes
On my watch got VVS, I remember being stressed
I had no diamonds, remember I couldn't afford
Work on the floor, I hope they don't kick in the door -
2017-07-05 at 11:48 AM UTC in People that should be put into gas chambersYou forgot your mother and father for allowing such a waste of life to breathe and not automatically smothering you with a pillow at the hospital you camel urine drinking cuck.
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2017-07-05 at 11:14 AM UTC in Happy independence day Amerifags!