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Posts That Were Thanked by Number13
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2017-05-03 at 10:09 AM UTC in Just got out of the ERI am, I broke through. I'm still severely depressed and will need to be on medication for the rest of my life, which I'm okay with, we're all dependant on something to live and popping pills a few times a day isn't even nearly as intensive as having to eat, but the worst part is over. I don't think I'll ever become this bad again, and if I feel like I'm starting to, I'll ask for help.
It's finally behind me, and even though I'll need years to fully recover, everything's going to be okay now. Even my bloodwork came back fine, thank god. I can move forward.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-05-03 at 9:17 AM UTC in Just got out of the ER
Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump Thats what you get for taking shitty RCs like tpain and nsi89 and god knows what else.
I do bundy, meth, cannabis and drink beer and I work every day. When I watched NHK I was on heroin at the crack shack but I never even thought about going to the hospital unless it was to pretend to be a junkie and get more opiates
Scron, you are not okay. Many people here aren't.
RisiR, you need to start seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist. Let go of the past.
Lanny, I think you should consider that your alcoholism could have an underlying issue, even if you're well off in some ways. I honestly didn't realize I was severely depressed until I reached the breaking point. Before 5 years, and some of you may remember how much I used to joke on Zoklet before lapsing into severe depression, I would constantly joke in TRT, write about the countless ideas I had, things I was researching/had an interest in, these enormous well researched walls of text, but even then I wasn't really happy and still incredibly damaged, then breaking point happened and I had a mental breakdown, followed by nothing but everything there is to be sad about in life and a stream of thoughts of suicide.
Phoenix, it's so obvious you aren't okay at all and on some level you know that if you remain on this path things will never change. I know why you want that sense of connection in TinyChat, people to talk to, but it isn't the same. You need people IRL, even a psychiatrist and psychologist, although it may take a bit of time to find one that's a good match for you, and that's normal. Don't get discouraged and give up like I did.
Number13, you had a mental breakdown and became a hiki like me at a considerably younger age, so of course you need similar health.
The Duke, if you're still alive, I hope you made it past your severe alcoholism. It was literally killing you.
Anyone I missed: Even if you're still clinging to this site, it's because it's the only sense of community you had, a place long ago where you felt you truly belonged. If you're spending an inordinate amount of time on here or other places trying to fill the need for people in your life, you're incredibly lonely and need to make a change before things get to this point. We didn't evolve to be alone, we need each other, and there are good people out there.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-05-02 at 10:46 AM UTC in Antifa in Austin
Originally posted by Number13 Also what's the actual lowdown on this faggots? I mean over here I've heard they're just rioting and bringing weapons and stuff but nobodies doing anything about it.
That's pretty much it. The police get told to stand down every time they riot and loot and shit for some fucked up reason
thankfully they seem to confine themselves to Snowflake cities so we don't typically have to deal with them
I'd love to see them try this shit in my city, I'd kill 21 myself but then I'd be fucked because I only have two magazines
Post last edited by Kolokol-1 at 2017-05-02T10:49:14.103608+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-05-02 at 9:41 AM UTC in Just got out of the ERWhen I first set out I was actually on buying more alcohol and prolonging things, but somewhere along the path I was finally pushed over the edge.
What spurred me was the serious risk of epilepsy due to having been self-medicating alcohol anxiety that had become so severe I was drinking a liter of brandy and about 3 liters of wine a day. (IIIRC Debonaire_Death drank himself to the point where he developed cirrhosis and still has to spend a lot of time dealing with. Poor Guacamole, MisterY's partner and friend in Ceretropic, ended up dying because he mixed benzos and alcohol, and I wonder if the insomnia to that degree was from anxious he was, willing to risk death just to get some sleep, was he so tormented by his thoughts to the extent that they led to this. Essentially hitting rock bottom. I knew when I walked in I was going to tell them about my other severe issues.
Suicidal depression, hikikomori and going into detail, unmanaged symptoms of autism, various things that had happened in life, having been undiagnosed with a severe case of Asperger's at 19 (I fell through the cracks, it was glaringly apparent, but it didn't happen and I suppose looking at things from this perspective, the lashing out I engaged in was clearly because of it), and how that ended up being one of the most damaging things in my life, I never received anything for it even after the diagnosis, having had no friends in 14 years due to what's now practically PTSD, the poor family to the point where my neglectful parent only stayed together out of a sense of obligation, having been seriously considering divorce during at least on period, I pretty much lost my parents when I was 13 and literally don't have any family at this point that I can fall back on, explaining how severe my depression and anxiety had essentially gotten to the point where I was just locked, the final days were just being spent in bed doing absolutely nothing etc
It was actually what I needed, and I wasn't involuntarily committed or in a psychward, although I did state that I would have been okay with hospitalization. A guard did have to be in sight of me, but that merely entails them being in line site sitting casually, usually just playing on their phone, doing paperwork. They gave me Ativan and phenobarbital via IV along with bags of saline for hydration, and was hooked to an ECG as well.
It reminds of the anime Welcome to the NHK. Once you actually break out it's so obvious that everything was in your head, and now you're completely alone in the world and will have to grapple with these issues for the rest of your life.
Oh god, my life is so fucking sad. I just want to go to bed to continue breaking down crying and I don't even have a cat to give me some semblance of company. For about the past three years the only person who's pretty much ever contacted my had been my landlord, I've literally never spoken to anyone so I sure as hell don't have anyone now.
At least things may finally be changing. Unfortunately I had to hit rock bottom and will have to rebuild my and my life from such a fucked position to be in.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-05-02T09:43:57.899087+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-05-01 at 9:33 AM UTC in Most of you are pathetic losersDoes animu aficionado, cunny connoisseur and 31337 h4xx0r fall under loser or schizophrenic or both?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-05-01 at 5:04 AM UTC in Most of you are pathetic losersi'd rather be a pathetic loser or a schizophrenic thtan a nigger like opThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-05-01 at 2:14 AM UTC in [Custom Usertitles for Everyone]!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-24 at 9:48 PM UTC in NIS Mafia (Game Thread)The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-22 at 4:45 PM UTC in Hitting on filipino girls that live in the Phillopines
Originally posted by RisiR Advice:
Yes I want to meet them and their family and observe their social standing and mannerisms before I pursue the relationship any further.
Go to the country of your choice and bring the women of your choice with you. Do not trust the pictures.
I already have two girls on the hook pics incoming.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-04-22 at 12:17 AM UTC in saints row 2 is free on steam today.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-21 at 10:44 AM UTC in What kind of coffee do you guys drink?teaThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-20 at 1:06 PM UTC in cat pic thread
Originally posted by Number13 To be fair they're persian so they're muds too
I approve of them being indoors cats though, mine just disappeared, never found out what happened to him so I figured someone else had taken him, better thinking that than he'd been run over, you know?
He's fine. They're all fine. No cat has ever been ran over or hurt THEY ARE ALL FINE!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-04-19 at 3:39 AM UTC in cat pic thread
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2017-04-19 at 1:58 AM UTC in Berkley pornstar punched in the faceThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-17 at 6:35 PM UTC in PC culture in America has gotten so bad I can't even say "black paint" any more
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2017-04-14 at 7:36 PM UTC in You can't have it all. (Intelligence)A tree which is planted on Monday and doubles in size each day is fully grown on the following Sunday. On what day is it half grown?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-12 at 9:10 PM UTC in I'd like the job of lighthouse keeper.3D Hologram off of one if you move in. the thing is basically a projector light just needing a monitor of some type and a reflecting mirror. you could get a huge black fabric screen that is mesh. like a bugscreen where it's see through. they do this in the haunted house at disneyland. and somehow have it drape off the coast .. a huge screen like a thousand feet diagle. and project shit on it. it would work best in a very populated beach community like they have in LA. wait for a day like 4th of July and when people are watching the fireworks you can project Godzilla or King Kong or something you create, coming in to attack them.
wouldn't that be a fun and useful way for a lighthouse?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-04-12 at 1:06 PM UTC in I like to read my own Thanked postsI got you, fam.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-08 at 9:11 PM UTC in Some games I like
Originally posted by Number13 lol I know, I was asking how it plays, what you do.
I hear crusader kings and ck2 are worth a few spurts of spunk too
Basically in Civ, you just build shit on tiles. There's a different tile for different things like extracting resources of whatever kind. I usually just go for TOPPU SPEEDO expansion. Then mine uranium, ally myself with all the city states, rule the UN and get a nuclear non-proliferation treaty passed but not before i make 40 nukes and the other players don't. Then i just start to murder everyone and nuke 'em if they give me shit.
Oh and it's turn based. A game takes a long ass time.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-04-08 at 4:51 AM UTC in 9 11 deniersHave you heard about them? The nine people in the fringe community that deny the number 11? Sounds sort of wacko to me but they insist we have numbers like 12 and 13 to take care of this fake number 11 anyway. I don't know.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
