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Posts by EasyDoesIt
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2016-02-15 at 4:55 AM UTC in Cringiest Things Evar
ya rly
Breivik, Do you remember our code?
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2016-02-15 at 4:53 AM UTC in I think about killing myself a lot
Seconded.
I'm going to miss you if you OD on drugs. -
2016-02-14 at 5:29 PM UTC in Official "My PMs and New Threads don't work" bump threadIt says I have 50 messages but I have way less, including those in the recycle bin.
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2016-02-14 at 5:25 PM UTC in You know what you should do?Jesus Christ man shooting crap into your veins is not cool bro.
I did notice you were missing, but I didn't realize that was why. :( -
2016-02-14 at 4:22 PM UTC in I think about killing myself a lot
GOOD!!
It means you're ACTUALLY living!
Stop using a bunch of retard's retarded rules, as a base for your life's doings.
I cannot picture my life being "plain and normal". …Ugh… Just thinking about being "normal" disgusts the shit out of me.
I feel guilty about it.
But then sometimes I think of you guys - NSA, Sharpie, Psycho, Lanny, and all the other guys on this site who live relatively well adjusted, successful lives yet are anything but "normal." It makes me wonder.
Maybe that's why we all keep coming back here. -
2016-02-14 at 2:54 PM UTC in I killed MarkThis is the best thread on the website ATM
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2016-02-14 at 2:50 PM UTC in I think about killing myself a lot
Since you don't know shit about me
I have a job. I make less than you do an hour. Minimum wage in NJ sucks. Stocking groceries sucks too.
I was already in a state of depression but you have no reason to take the piss out on me for no reason. Nice insulting my MUSIC by saying its noises. I could show you my best work, not all of my MUSIC is good but the shit that is good is good enough to actually have a fanbase.
Also I come to niggasin.space
to converse with the community. I haven't gotten coddled here like you think my mindset is, but shits good until you fucking show up
So fucking butt hurt.
Some guy you never met doesn't like your music. Get over it.
Stop creating this victim narrative in your mind that I stormed into your house and ruined your life.
Also, you're like a 17 year old kid. Stop acting like making minimum wage when you have no or real responsibilities or debt is the same shit as doing so when you have several advanced degrees. -
2016-02-13 at 7:21 PM UTC in I think about killing myself a lot
You're basically saying "suicide is a great idea if you don't want to live anymore", which is well, no shit Sherlock. You're technically correct but it's still useless and pedantic. In other news, driving is a great idea if you want to operate a car and shoveling is a great idea if you want to use an instrument to dig a hole in the ground.
In practical terms, most people contemplating suicide don't just want to not live anymore for the sake of not living anymore, there is some temporary problem that serves as the engine for that desire; financial woes, self image issues, depression and so on. At the end of the day, you're going to die anyway so I don't see the point of hastening that due to something as dumb as money or issues with self esteem.
You can launch yourself in any direction if you are willing to completely cut ties with everyone and everything that you love or that loves you. If you're willing to leave your house rent unlaid, leave your dog starving, leave your parents grieving… Then what's the difference to the rest of the world between jumping off a bridge, or just selling everything and running away to Tibet to live as a goat herder?
I think these are basically fair points.
The only thing I would say is that "running away" isn't a very viable option because your problems will follow you. Even if you went to a monastery in Asia Minor to live solely on alms as a monk, your greater issue of anxiety and unsatisfaction with life will follow you. In fact, even your debt will follow you.
I would have already sold everything I owned and started a new life somewhere else, but it sound better in theory than in practice. Namely, you have to have a support system waiting there to catch you when you jump, otherwise you're going to have all the same problems plus you'll be totally broke and homeless. -
2016-02-13 at 6:56 PM UTC in I killed MarkThis is fucking hilarious.
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2016-02-13 at 6:49 PM UTC in I think about killing myself a lot
You should kill yourself. You do know that your post discouraging my efforts on doing anything in my life worked. I've been sleeping for days. I was already in a depression and I don't need you telling me how bad my "not even music" is. You dick.
Oh easydoesit you're oplus? That explains alot. You really do love making me want to kill myself don't you?
Wow, you seriously need to grow up.
If you're going to be that much of a bitch as to threaten to kill yourself or get majorly depressed and "sleep for days" when some guy you don't even know tells you that your "music" sucked two weeks ago, then you've been pretty insulated from the world around you and are being a major pussy. If that's the worst thing that happens to me in two weeks I'm definitely having a great month. Besides, I thought you said you didn't care what anyone thought? Obviously you do if you're going to come on here and double post about how hurt you are by it.
I don't know how to tell you this, but most people aren't going to recognize what you do as music, and most people are definitely not going to give you the unconditional praise you crave since you spend most of your time sitting around in your house high as fuck and produce nothing worth envying. Sorry, but you don't get worship from people for no reason. You're not a special little snowflake. I'm not going to apologize for refusing to lie to you, and that doesn't make me "a dick." If you want support, go to your guidance counselor. You ought to feel stupid for coming on a website called niggasin.space and expecting support from people - especially when you've contributed absolutely nothing to this community in the 20+ years it's been around. If you want shallow worship from people, do something worth worshiping. Taking suboxone and making cringe-tier youtube videos about it is definitely not the way to go.
The fact that you're even scapegoating me is even more pathetic. I make you want to kill yourself? Really? Some random fucking internet guy that you didn't even know existed less than a month ago makes you want to kill yourself because he said you're music sucks? You need to talk to a fucking psychologist before you hurt yourself or somebody else because you obviously have very little perspective on how planet earth works.
Well here's the scoop bud: Get over yourself, grow up, and stop blaming other people for the fact that you're not the creative genius you make yourself out to be. Getting high all the time, mixing noises, and not being able to keep a beat on the drums isn't tasteful and most people aren't going to recognize it as art. You don't need to look any further than the literal hundreds of thousands of kids within your very city doing the same shit and thinking they're special.
Also, the point of making my thread wasn't to seek out emotional support. I made my thread and some people were nice enough to be supportive for whatever reason. I wasn't asking for it, nor did I expect it.
TL;DR - Go fuck yourself for being so spoiled and insulated from the world around you that you can't take random internet criticism and double-fuck-you for trying to make your complete lack of emotional stability and narcissistic need for praise and admiration about me. You don't make music, you make noises that nobody will even remember after you delete them. You're in for a big surprise when you face real world problems like paying bills and working for a living.
Now if you excuse me, I have to continue cleaning people's shit for $9 an hour so that I can afford my internet connection. Not all of us can sit on our ass in our parents' house high on drugs all day.
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2016-02-13 at 4:55 PM UTC in I think about killing myself a lotAlso, like I seem to have to constantly remind you, I have a degree in psychology. As in, I paid a shit ton of money to have the instruction and guidance of professionals in the field with first hand sources and produced research in laboratory with full course load for four years. I also had honors. I don't rely on gay little internet test which are completely devoid of diagnostic context to diagnose disorders - especially when they're working out of models that medical professionals haven't used for years. The fact that you obsess over those stupid things just further show you don't know what you're doing dude.
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2016-02-13 at 4:51 PM UTC in I killed Mark
pix or didnt happen captain faggot, you're the biggest cuck on this website who creams over internet girls. Didnt you actually have a failed zoklet relationship with a manish looking woman?
Lol goddamn this is getting harsh.
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2016-02-13 at 4:49 PM UTC in I think about killing myself a lotSploo, I don't care what you do, but I don't want you to kill yourself. My point was that it's ironic the dude who literally drinks over a gallon of cough syrup per week has no fleeting thoughts of killing himself while a lot of otherwise productive, intelligent people just posted that they either have wrestled with it or still do.
As far as your "rebuttal" is concerned, it's the same attention seeking behaviors that comprises most of your posts since I've met you. I've already made my point in the thread that you don't know what you're talking about, you know nothing about psychology or neuroscience, and you're just loosely connecting buzz words and technical jargon that you don't understand with horrible reasoning. It's obvious to anyone who is cognizant, reading that thread, or took an intro psychology class. You're just embarrassing yourself but you're either too much of a clown to realize it, it gives you some kind of masochistic pleasure, or you think it bothers me (newsflash - it doesn't).
Like I said, I don't care what you do man. I've had almost a hundred people like you come in and out of my life, and they all end up in the same three places - dead, in jail, or squandering away their lives. If that's what you want to do, that's your choice. Hell, maybe you'll never have higher aspirations than living a life constantly dissociated on cough syrup and nutmeg. What I will tell you is that life doesn't lead to happiness and by the time you're old enough to realize you want to change it, you'll probably have experienced such significant neurological damage that it'll cripple you for the rest of your life at least behaviorally (if that hasn't already happened).
So do whatever you want, but your constant needs to defend yourself and rationalize your behavior at least in part demonstrates that you know it's a bad idea. -
2016-02-13 at 4:19 PM UTC in I think about killing myself a lot
Why should I kill myself oplus?
I didn't say you should kill yourself.
I said that you should want to, or in the very least stop squandering your life away. -
2016-02-13 at 4:17 PM UTC in Nihilism
Rejecting meaning categorically seems strange, I don't think even most nihilists would agree. The fact that human communication seems to work means something is being exchanged when you, say, post a thread here and get responses that are relevant (at least informed by what you posted). If it's not meaning that we share through communication then what? "Information" obviously isn't a sufficient answer, we can exchange information without sharing whatever it is that makes communication useful (you could have posted a random string, people do from time to time, a string of the same length as your post would definitionally contain more information but less "something"(presumably meaning)).
If you mean you only reject privileged or "ultimate" meaning then you seem to need to find a reason why the appropriate move is to throw your hands up and settle at nihilism as opposed to other philosophical frameworks ala exestentialism that assume all the same facts but seem to offer us some actually useful insight into the human condition?
Basically this.
I guess what I would add is that you can reject "objective" meaning but that doesn't mean life is completely devoid of meaning. I have people who love me, and that definitely provides my life with some meaning.
One of the cool things about recognizing that there's no objective meaning is that you're finally free to experience life in a way that most of the population can't. First and foremost, most people have all these cultural assumptions they inherited as gospel truth and they basically struggle to find meaning within those narrow parameters. It doesn't mean that they're inherently less valuable or anything, but it definitely means that their autonomy is largely compromised. A lot of who they are was decided for them before they even graduated high school.
For example, I was an American combat soldier. It didn't take me long to realize that we were the bad guys in an imperial occupational force, so I accepted a medical discharge when it was offered to me instead of blasting brown people in a third world war zone for the sake of Halliburton's stock going up. Most of the other guys in my unit were born into a culture that assumes an unrealistic concept of American soldier hero worship, which puts them into a position where they're forced to wrestle with the realities of ugly imperialism and their own guilt thereof. In light of this falsely inherited promise, it basically makes people do mental gymnastics they typically aren't equipped for. It's not a surprise the soldier suicide rate is now higher than ever before.
That's just one example. Nihilism and Existentialism both recognize your freedom, but what you do with it is up to you. The way one philosopher put it is that your life is a unique work of art that only you have the privilege of experiencing firsthand.
I wasn't trying to come off as a dick earlier in my post, but typically when people talk about Nihilism they're usually younger guys who think they've come across some outstanding philosophical insight that justifies acting irresponsible. To be fair, I was the same way when I first became an atheist, but that makes me wary of it in other people. Your first impulse of freeing yourself from the bonds of ignorance and superstition is usually "I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT," but being an adult is supposed to eventually take hold.
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2016-02-13 at 4:02 PM UTC in What are you hacking on?
Pics man, pics! Who do you sell these computers to if you dont mind me asking?
Me, I'm wrapping up that PHP resource and trying my hand at analyzing code to find vulnerabilities that way. I gotta get better at blackbox testing if I wanna make any cash money off of bug bounties.
Sure. I'll post some stuff up once I get it working. As of now all I have are laptops because I destroyed my apache web server by short circuiting it.
Expect a network thread here in a few weeks.
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2016-02-13 at 3:58 PM UTC in Who else HATES this motherfucker...???...Lol....
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2016-02-13 at 3:56 PM UTC in I think about killing myself a lot
For a lot of years I had this thing where I'd remember some awkward and embarrassing or guilty moment in my past and just feel terrible about it, which is fairly standard I think, we all cringe at our younger selves a bit, but I developed the habit of responding to memories like that by imagining myself dying. Like I'd be walking along, remember that time I lied about watching whatever TV show my 10 year old friends were talking about and got caught, and in response picture the nearest person to me pulling out a gun and shooting me in the head. Or I'd think about jumping out in front of a car or something. That's kind of a mild example of social embarrassment but it was one of a handful of things that really bugged me for whatever reason, a couple of them actually being pretty grim. I think the logic behind it was that creating as immediate of a fear of death as possible would be enough to trigger some part of the fight/flight response and I'd be able to forget whatever I had just thought, which sounds kinda similar to what you're talking about. I did this from grade school until I was like 21.
Eventually it occurred to me (during a trip actually) that that seemed really unhealthy. I made a concerted effort, when I remembered something awkward/painful like that, to engage with the memory and be like "yeah, I did that, I'm responsible for that, but I can't change it". It was actually a pretty hard habit to break because it required I acknowledge something I really didn't want to but I found that as I did so those moments of shame or embarrassment stopped being a cause for anxiety. The stupid things I can laugh about now and the worse ones I still regret but at least I can admit to.
This is pretty helpful. The process you're talking about has a name in clinical psychology known as rumination. The thing is that young people consistently ruminate a lot almost universally. And this makes sense, because you learn more from your mistakes than from your successes. There's possibly an evolutionary benefit to it, but I won't go on and on speculating about it because I'm sure you can connect the dots yourself. I'm going to try take this new attitude towards.I don't know if any of that is relevant to you, but I think if it is then you're better off engaging with the awful things you're afraid of, even if that's painful to do so, than to be like "well if that happens I'm calling it quits". The stoics had some interesting ideas around preparing yourself for the worst. I think it was Epictetus in particular who advocated always contemplating the worse possible outcomes to a situation so that if it is realized it will be defanged, he thought that our emotional states are fundamentally self-determined and if we refuse, in advance of an outcome, declare ourselves destroyed or crushed by a particular turn of events, then such an outcome won't have power over how we feel. I'm not sure doting on the worst is always the answer but if we place anything as outside the real of "I can deal with that", if we refuse to even contemplate some things, then all we're doing is building it up as the thing that will be our undoing when there's no necessary reason to.
I do this a lot. As in, not ruminating, but meditating on the worst possible outcomes. It definitely works. The antithesis of your example is kind of like how things are always better in your head than actually living them out. Once you actually experience them, it always seems less real to me than the idea of a thing. The opposite is true. That is, the idea of something bad happening is not as emotionally taxing as the consequences of it actually happening.Suicide is a permanent non-solution to an almost certainly temporary problem. You might as well just hit the rails if you're going to kill yourself. A man who is not afraid of dying (or fears dying less than failing) is the ultimate weapon and can accomplish literally anything.
Let's for example say that a loan shark is going to break your knees… Option A is to kill yourself, option B is to do literally anything else, like bailing and starting a new life off the grid as a hobo. Worst case scenario on "anything else" is that you die, in which case that's what you were going to do anyway, right?
Another piece of advice I can give is to become another mother fucker. Being EasyDoesIt isn't working out for you? Grow a beard, hit the gym, wear cool clothes and become Joe Explosionson. Do a different thing for a few months and see how that works out for you.
Tl;Dr don't be a bitch and kill yourself.
I already have a beard, hit the gym, and wear cool clothes, but this is good perspective anyway. A large part of my issues are financial (this isn't a guilt trip). We just don't have any money, the economy in the US is awful, and nobody gets ahead. Like President Obama said, "just getting by" is the new American Dream. The reason that I bring this up is basically for past three years I've been trying to figure out a way to make more than $14,000 a year so that I can take steps in the right direction. For the first two years after graduation I was applying to over 100 jobs a month in all sorts of skill levels. Nothing led anywhere, and it reached a point where I stopped trying. I recently started trying again.
Even so, I still have prospects and I'm hopeful, but it's just an awful feeling. I feel like a waste. It's not uncommon for twenty-somethings to go through a "quarter life crisis" anymore.
But I like this idea and am going to try and reinvent elements of myself that I don't like.I know the feeling of impending disaster, just around the corner - it's called anxiety. It took me a long time to admit it, but I carry a lot of it with me throughout my day and usually in places it doesn't belong, where it effects me despite my better judgment. Lanny's right, you need a more effective way of looking at your past, and you'll need a new perspective on what you're doing right now to keep that going. Try seeing a therapist experienced in CBT, it's really helpful for me.
I actually do see a psychologist. I've been seeing different ones since I got out of the military on and off. Just for the past month or so I've met one and I think we're making some real progress. Right now we're dealing with anxiety. We focus mainly on CBT, so excellent recommendation on your part.
A large part of the issue comes from being raised in a fundamentalist religious cult. I've been over it for years, but there's a subconscious part of me that still isn't apparently. That's partially where the anxiety comes from. The rest is biological.Read my recommendations here, if you're interested, it will help you understand what you're experiencing.
Just bought it online.Try it out man. Get fucking intense. Feel yourself die. Then come back and see how you feel..
I do meditations like I mentioned earlier, but not to this level. I'll try it.Am I the only person here who doesn't want to kill himself?
And yet, ironically, you're one of the only ones that should.
Thanks for your help space niggas. I really wasn't expecting this. -
2016-02-13 at 3:16 AM UTC in I think about killing myself a lotI think about killing myself everyday. Usually several times a day.
I always anticipate that something awful is going to happen and, if it ever does, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to able to handle it. It's just this foreboding feeling that disaster is right around the corner. The worst part is that I feel guilty like I deserve it. I feel like I've lived a wicked and disgusting life and that I would deserve whatever is coming to me.
I feel awful for my family who would have to go on without me, especially my mother. We have a wonderful relationship and I'd hate to imagine her living her life everyday with the sorrow that her son is dead. I just feel guilty even thinking about it. I feel like it's already too late, which doesn't even make any sense.
Anyway, this wasn't a cry for attention or to have a ton of niggasinspace leave me warm fuzzies about how great you think I am. Honestly I'm a dick most of the time to you guys anyway. Most of you would probably think this is funny and joke about it if I ever blew my brains out.
I guess I just put it up here as a reminder for myself. -
2016-02-12 at 5:14 PM UTC in should i move in with crazy chinese girl?Holy run-on sentence batman.