i threw away a ton of Crouton and poppy seeds yesterday. tired of drugs in general and the false personality being high 24/7 created. i was holding on to them but i think im done with drugs. the shit is not fun anymore, i can't even enjoy weed
me too OP. take me with you. i want to die. i'm not the type to kill myself totally on purpose though, i'm more the type to take sketchy risks where i could die until the day when one of them ensnares me and drags me into hell
Originally posted by HTS
You're a smart, resourceful dude. Guarantee you can pull yourself out of this downward spiral and have life back on track by this time next year if you put your mind to it. Don't stop believing in yourself. If you give up/give in to that mindset it's definitely going to be a lot harder. You can do it, GP.
thanks HTS...and yea, i guess i probably can. it's just going to be exponentially more difficult. and not as good.
really fucked. stuck in this depression with a broken brain, broken life, broken relationships, and all my shit is broken. just another bitter asshole kitchen worker who fucked up with stimulants. i guess i knew what i was getting myself into (kind of...you don't really understand the full extent to which is destroys you until you experience it) when i started so it's my fault. i tweaked it all away and pushed everyone who cared about me away and it's just permanently fucked. i need to clean this shitty room and get rid of 5 years of textbooks, ex's stuff, drug stuff, my entire life basically. all the memories i had are done for. now im stuck in this shithole and the only people i know are scumbags with a long time before i can get out.
i don't know if it's even worth the effort to try, it's going to be miserable and it will be insanely difficult to be clean for so long in such a shitty environment, it seems eventual that i'll be back on heroin or meth. might as well just put a bullet through my head now...
its out of my hands in my mouth with such a pleasant taste i need a beer to wash it all away without a trace and ill drink 23 more to wipe this stupid smile off my fuckin face
