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Posts by STALPANOF
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2018-07-30 at 4:52 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Milacron Monday 7/30/2018
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2018-07-30 at 4:50 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Milacron Monday 7/30/2018
Originally posted by CandyRein ROFL @ sacrifices have been made ♥️😂
I have yet to receive my "Thanks" button.
Either because I never ever used it last time or because I haven't hit the required posts yet.
But if I could "Thank" I would thank you and send some instant gratification your way.
I love you. -
2018-07-30 at 4:42 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Milacron Monday 7/30/2018Update:
Just talked to my sexy AF CandyRein.
Had not heard from her in a week.
She was mad but it was all just a silly misunderstanding.
Or she is lying about being mad and just wanted to see if I was going to be extra horny when she finally came back into my life.
Things happen and people die.
All I know is I am in love with her.
Sacrifices have been made. -
2018-07-30 at 4:40 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Milacron Monday 7/30/2018
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2018-07-30 at 3:54 PM UTC in Deleted posts for: STALPANOFYou should at least try it once.
Maybe these people are just trying to keep it all to themselves.
Perhaps they are lying to you. -
2018-07-30 at 3:41 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Milacron Monday 7/30/2018
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2018-07-30 at 3:30 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Milacron Monday 7/30/2018Howdy everyone.
Stalpanof here.
Hope everyone had a great frig frag weekend :)
I had a great weekend.
On Saturday I got manic and spent 7 hours "trying" to fix stuff.
That was fun except I never really got much of anything fixed.
Then yesterday I went to a baseball game.
It was a lot of fun and I got drunk and lost my ID.
Now I feel like an undocumented immigrant.
After that I went to where I fell down.
Then I got a little more drunk.
I ate a lot of food and drank some more.
I passed out pretty early and woke up at midnight with a hang-over.
I cycled between sleeping and lying there awake holding piss in my dick with my fist.
Now I am up and at 'em.
And I am about to have a wonderful fucking day.
I love you all very much.
Bye-now. -
2018-07-28 at 10:21 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Stoopid Saturday
Originally posted by WellHung Op… you're a douchebag.
And your a Chinese business man with a small penis and a 28,752 yuan salary that lost a business deal and went to the bar to drink yourself to death and instead you found a spray tanned slampig that you impressed with your company's credit card, got lucky and had a one night stand and now wont stop stalking her. Your ego is super inflated because you managed to have sex with a drunk American girl. Now you live in the homeless shelter and work 60 hours a week and a Chinese buffet but still you can not find real work because you are a refugee wanted by the Chinese Government for theft and you have a death warrant on your head if you ever go back. You mop and sweep floors, clean tables, wash dishes and fix crab rangoon.
One day I hope you are able to steal the identity of someone who's name you can inevitably tarnish like you have done your own. -
2018-07-28 at 10:06 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Stoopid SaturdayUpdate:
Got my garage door all hooked up but a wire broke inside the thing on the motor and I cant get it out to put a new on in so here I am typinf and going to open up the headlamp I just bought to see if a headlamp will somehow fix things. -
2018-07-28 at 7:32 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Stoopid SaturdayUpdate:
I talked to ohfralala on the Stalpanof-fone.
She is not suicidal at the moment.
In other news...
Still trying to get the garage door motor hung up.
Thank you for calling me.
Really enjoyed chopping it up with you. -
2018-07-28 at 6:41 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Stoopid Saturday
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2018-07-28 at 6:36 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Stoopid Saturday
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2018-07-28 at 6:31 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Stoopid Saturday
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2018-07-28 at 6:27 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Stoopid SaturdayGood afternoon ladies and gentlemen in the audience.
For today's presentation I will set the scene and you can make it a choose your own adventure.
But 1 thing.
It will actually be my adventure.
And you don't get to choose it.
Woke up today around 7:45.
I dunno how I managed that.
Up so early I decided to try and do something nice for someone I love.
So I went to Bob Evan's with my great aunt and let her buy my breakfast.
Mostly I just picked at the food because I am not hungry in the morning and shit...
I wasn't even fully awake until after 2 cups of coffee and time for my pills to kick in.
Went back home and fooled around on the computer a bit.
Wanted to play a game or chop shit up with my best friend Slaynk but he said he wasn't feeling so hot and was going to bed.
I hope he feels better.
FEEL BETTER SLAYNK.
Then I laid down and watched youtube videos on my fona-fone.
Most of the videos I watched were about supersonic airplanes and rocket engines.
I did watch one very dumb video of Bruce Willis talking about how much the maintenance costs to own a McLaren F1.
Well no shit @Bruce Willis.
Then I got out of bed and jerked off to some lesbian finger fucking porn.
And now my Enter key got stuck to my cum I shot that went up in the air and landed down in my keyboard and we are down here now I guess...
Here is the link to the porn I watched.
https://www.xnxx.com/video-4w5fne2/real_lesbo_getting_fingered
And after that I mowed my grass.
Well...
My mom mowed most of it but I mowed out by the road.
(The mildly dangerous part)
And then I put my mower away and closed my garage door and opened my garage windows with the intent of maybe fixing my garage door finally.
After that I went downstairs and changed my shirt.
Talked to Tort in Tinychat.
He came to my awesome tinychat room.
Here is the link.
Tinychat.com/room/fonaplats
It gets off the chain at night time.
Also its open mic so we can weed out people who talk to themselves.
Pretty bad ass.
You should check it out.
And then I took more medication to hopefully chemically increase my motivation to do something today.
And now I am going to go out to my garage and work on my garage door while debating on whether I want to go downtown and get super drunk with the few thousand people that are going to be partying their asses off tonight at Celtic Fest.
Toodles :) -
2018-07-27 at 5:40 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Fucked Up FridaySalami has me all pissed off today.
Im about to go ham. -
2018-07-26 at 2:34 PM UTC in Stalpanof's Thirsty ThursdayI need a good fuck.
Sorry for not making a post yesterday.
Its not your fault.
Its my fault for not really giving as much a fuck about NIS now that I have a super awesome real life with real life friends.
But anyway....
Yesterday was good.
Typical work day although I was not being very tolerant and may or may not have called 2 of my co-workers "nigger bitches"
Cut my hands up a bit and bled on stuff.
Don't worry though because this time I even cleaned it up with the blood clean up kit.
Actually I did not.
I just wiped it up with a dirty shop rag I found on the ground.
Let's get to today!
I want some pussy.
And I woke up to dump trucks backing up going BEEP BEEP BEEP and the first thing I thought about was that guy from zoklet.
So I grabbed my gun and went outside to see why the dump trucks were retreating.
Turns out they are actually in collaboration with other trucks and machines of types and they are stealing my fucking road.
I guess I live off grid now?
In other news...
Every Thursday my company buys us lunch.
So that means I do not have to pack my lunch.
Last week we had KFC.
That shit was the bomb.
By the way,
Luigi is a back stabbing bitch faced bitch liar bitch and should never ever be trusted.
I hope Luigi and Mal die a slow and painful death in a boiling lagoon of autistic diarrhea.
I suppose I will go watch tv and black people porn now.
I think I am going to start with tv and breakfast.
Then I will move onto black people porn.
Hope you are all having a great day.
I love you all very much.
Be safe. (except Luigi and Mal who I want to die anyways) -
2018-07-25 at 3:47 AM UTC in STALPANOF's Tolerant TuesdayJust got home from work.
It was a very fast paced day.
Got a little angry when one of my co-workers just bailed with no warning which caused us to all fall behind but while rushing to catch up another co-worker shot a screw into his thumb and was bleeding everywhere so that kind of made me feel like it was worth the anger.
I am looking forward to what tomorrow brings.
Now its time to let my alcoholism take control for the rest of my night.
Soon I will be waking up under my soft warm sheets listening to my alarm clock play the radio while I am stretching and cuddling up with my awesome doggies.
I love my life.
I love you guys.
Hope you all are having a wonderful night.
Talk to you all later.
Caio -
2018-07-24 at 4:43 PM UTC in STALPANOF's Tolerant TuesdayToday will officially make it 3 months I have been at my job.
Im loving every day of it.
Sometimes I overthink things and when stuff doesn't happen for me like I think it should I suddenly feel like everyone is against me but later I find what I am doing is more important than what I want to be doing so I end up wanting to do what I do not want to do.
I have only been there 3 months and I get phone calls from co-workers calling in sick.
I am not even hire there yet. Its kinda neat.
I woke up today needing to piss real bad but thanks to my new found fona-funds my bed is so comfortable and my blankets are so soft and warm I had no choice but to lay there for 2 hours.
Once I got up I took a type 5 shit and smoked a cigarette.
My diet is slowly changing and I am feeling a bit more healthy and energetic even with my alcoholism being in full swing.
When I grabbed a shirt to put on I glimpsed myself in the mirror for a second and then just stood there in complete shock at how sexy and cut I am.
I give all the credit to God who is with me every day and guides me and shows me the way.
Hope everyone is having a great day today.
I got to get ready for work now.
Today I will try and be tolerant of people and situations and I will try to see things from all points of veiw before I make an assumption on why someone or something is the way it is.
I will try not to pass judgement.
Love you guys.
Take care.
