I did lotsa acid in high school and college
That shit fucks up your brain forever
You can never be “normal” again,or like ppl.
I remember tripping balls at a pantera concert and all the dudes were acting all agro and hard and all the women reminded me of pussy cats...all rubbin up on ya and making those fuck me eyes. I think I heard a few purrr.
Goddamn animals!!
2018-11-28 at 3:41 PM UTC
in
Trump tariffs bite back
Has nothing to do with tariffs
No one is buying cars.
All trucks and suv’s...until gas hits $4 a gallon again.
The sedan is is over
Last time I went dancing women just stuck their asses in my crotch and grinded
I didn’t mind,but it wasn’t dancin
2018-11-21 at 8:03 PM UTC
in
I just got my ass kicked
There once was a nigga named Q
Had No money,but weak like a jedi
Liked to get drunk
Got his ass thumped
By an injun over a game of pool
2018-11-21 at 7:44 PM UTC
in
I just got my ass kicked
Q you can get your manhood back by relentlessly training in the kung fu (shaolin of course) and going back and kickin that guys ass!!!
I’ll be your mr miyagi
If my gas prices are goin up...
It better be over someone from the master race 👍🏻
2018-11-21 at 4:23 PM UTC
in
I just shit myself...
I was at a cafe about 10 years ago...
Eatin my lunch. All of a sudden everyone in front of me started making “ewww” noises and gagging. That’s when the smell hit me.
I was in a booth in the back and everyone was looking toward the restroom. I see this old lady int the front get up,back of her dress covered in shit. She gets up and leaves money by the register...shit dripping down her leg and leaves a trail of shit.
The waitress cane out and walked by the register to check the bathroom and slipped a little in the shit. She looked down (it took a second to register) and let out a fucking blood curdling scream,everyone looked and saw what was up and jumped up. A few hit the restroom to vomit. Everyone bolted out the back doorway.
I sat there smiling ear to ear.lol
2018-11-21 at 4:07 PM UTC
in
I just shit myself...
Boo shoulda slung poo at the rubber neckers 👍🏻
2018-11-21 at 3:39 PM UTC
in
I just shit myself...
Shit my pants last time June 2009 in gatlinburg,tn
Ate at this bbq joint (soon closed down after)
Got a block and it hit. Ran into a Wendy’s and cleaned up. Threw my undies in the trash and luckily made it back to the room before round 2 hit.
2018-11-21 at 2:49 PM UTC
in
I just got my ass kicked
I don’t believe he has injuries
We might be dealing with a chronic liar
2018-11-21 at 1:19 PM UTC
in
I just got my ass kicked
I worked loss prevention when I was in college
You aren’t allowed to man handle anyone. Just follow and call the police if they don’t comply
2018-11-21 at 12:45 PM UTC
in
I just got my ass kicked
Can’t get sucker punched by someone after words are exchanged
Need to expect a swing...better yet,throw one.
You could be proud of being gay,but be a big ugly fatty. There by,being insecure about getting dudes to blow.
Or maybe gay dudes don’t care. According to will and grace,gay dudes are very shallow.
I’ve been to a few parties where there were “ladies” that were taking on all comers
I found it gross
Unknowingly went to some swingers parties
1 man,1 woman is God’s law
2018-11-20 at 8:52 PM UTC
in
Single paragraph stories.
Dear penthouse,
I was a young lad of only 17. Working the summer at a condo/apt community as a landscaper. As I was weed eating the back patio of a certain condo,a very voluptuous 40 year old lady in the most see through little teddy approached her glass patio door. She opened the door and asked if I’d like a drink,”yes ma’am,it’s quite hot and I’m parched” she motioned me with an index finger and left the patio door open.I walked in and she was standing in front of the freezer door,getting ice cubes,never taking her gaze off me. I walked over to her counter and she brought the glass...nipples erect from the cold. She handed it to me and proceeded to push herself right up against me. I downed the glass instantly and looked down at her. She was smiling up at me. I could feel her tugging at my belt. Next thing I know,my shirts and underwear were on the floor and she was on her knees...I felt her mouth on my raging hard cock. Her nails dug into my ass cheeks.
Shit...that’s more than a paragraph...my bad.
You can imagine the rest
Meh
I got my eyes elsewhere.
