Originally posted by Kafka
What do you think it means? I used to listen to Tool
Nothing really just sort of a hodge podge of things that I like (my phone, blackjack, pissing, Tool).
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2022-03-09 at 7:45 PM UTC
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Where the fuck is Nil/Nile?
im alive, the reasons for my disappearance are pretty spot on. and would usually be true but no im not dead or incarcerated, although i am still slowly going crazy, i got rly bad frost bite and have been laying around waiting, was told to follow up with a surgeon in 4-6 weeks, which i think was way too long, im going to see a plastic surgeon at a hospital tomorrow for assessment, probly gonna lose 1 finhger and sections of 5 other ones. ill be glad when they cut these fuckers off or whatever, they are constantly bleeding and leaking puss.
not dead yet, thanks 4 caring. at least if i suffer an untimely demise i know my niggas with pour out libations.
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I'm starting to not become a fat cunt.
I did weight 122KG (270lbs) now I am 98KG (216lbs)
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Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
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2022-03-04 at 8:35 PM UTC
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Grief
Originally posted by Sudo
Yeah that's definitely not healthy. My baby moms cousin has a shrine to her grandmother that is weird and haunted. Her son went to it at barely the age of 2 and kept saying "nanny nanny" after never meeting her. Went to the graveyard she was buried in too and of all Graves ran right to hers and sat right on it. Something else weird with them too I forget
i dunno. the japanese have the tamaya/butsudan. keeping a household shrine for your dead family is arguably quite normal for humans (generally), it's just maybe a bit out of touch with western socioreligious practices. nothing about what OP said comes across as particularly bad or unhealthy except that she feels it's become obsessive. the actions themselves seem fine tho - just the... fervor... might be unhealthy. 🤷
when my parents die i might keep a small shrine to them, to remember them by. been thinking about it more lately. i dunno.
edit: the hair dyeing thing is probably the most weird thing you've done, OP. weird coping mechanism, but it's not
that weird really. our parents dying probably *should* fuck us up and make us do weird shit to cope. the fact that you've gotten a bit weird is, ironically, normal?
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I had two dreams last night. In one dream I thought I was Britney Spears and I was in Las Vegas trying to get into venues. I kept telling them who I was and asking them to PARK MY LIMO. But my limo was a broke down Buick LeSabre with a bad paint job and I kept getting kicked out.
In the second dream I was a watching a group of people trying to frame a person for the murder of a baby. They accidentally killed the baby but didn’t do the right thing at the time of death so they decided to pin it on this poor innocent Martha. They all ended up in this confinement area fighting. There was a guy who was acting like a warden behind glass watching them and there was one girl in the group who was worried about her blog being taken down if she was accused of murder. The warden yelled at her that she was never getting her blog back.
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Strangely i had a dream last night. I forget why but my mom had killed someone. She asked if i wanted to see it and i said okay and she opened the door to the laundry room and a woman was slumped back in a chair with her entire jaw and cheek smashed in with a hammer and stab wounds all over her bare chest. Next scene i walk into the house and shes flayed the body and is doing like a waltz with the full length sleeve of skin
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I dont really dream anymore. Something to do with my fucked brain chemistry i think. Last one i had a couple months ago, i had a family. wife son and daughter. It felt like a lifetime. I felt loved and needed and content. I was making forts for them out of sofa cushions. Barbecues. Watching movies in the dark with my wife. Halloween costumes for the kids. Taking pictures of them with goofy lil missing teeth. First dances. I could see them growing up.Then one day they just disappeared and the whole house was empty and everything was cardboard and plastic cutouts like a cheap movie set. I ran through the neighborhood trying to find them and knocking on doors but the houses were all empty and full of sand. Sand falling in through the roofs and making its way through cracks in the windows. And then i looked up and i was in this ghost town, city half buried like an old skeleton in the desert. I was all alone. I started choking on the sand as it rose above my lips. When i woke up I was crying and the feeling of loss was really fucked up and palpable.
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Life will flourish without humans...just as it did before humans were around. The warming of the Earth is good for life as a whole...just not for humans.
It's reasonable that we all perish due to the fact we only destroy rather than contribute to the balance of life on Earth.
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Fuck hoes get money lift weights plan a massacre of those that hurt u
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Yes, cry. And catch your tears in a glass bottle. Fill er up to the BRIM. Carry it with you wherever you go, as a reminder of the pain and sacrifice of which you have given. Let the tears ferment and become TOXIC. Then, when the time is right, splash them all in her eyes in ONE FELL SWOOP, bringing your pain full circle to the source upon which it was founded, and then, you shall be free.
Free as a bird in the night sky.
Freeeeeeeeee
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Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
Originally posted by Kafka
Trying to suppress emotions can make them more intense, so cry. <3
This.
If I would have cried more when I was younger I wouldn't be so angry and have intense visions of death all the time. Who knows maybe I'd be able to be emotionally intimate and vulnerable too
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Trying to suppress emotions can make them more intense, so cry. <3
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Firstly I want to thank all of you for providing me with this community.
I have laughed harder at the things posted on this site, and smiled when I never expected to, so caught up with my life's tragedies that I couldn't smile at shit else. This site has been with me in my worst points in my life and been there for the better moments too.
I am the copresident of a small group of men, I am my mom's only son, I am SmartBrad or Stabbin Brad depending on where you know me frp,. but truthfully these people who know me in this capacity only understand a superficial presentation I give them. Aside from this website, no one in my life really knows everything about me, my short cummings, my insecurities, my homosexual tendencies, my violent drunken personality, my alcoholism i struggle to beat, my love of tweak and non white women, etc most people just get a snapshot and it's typically the best presentation I can give them. With yall? I just show up and be honest.
I know this isn't anonymous, my real life name is Bradley ffs, but for some reason I always felt as though I could open up here. Not many other places would I feel comfortable going up infront of 40 people and saying "Yes, I understand I could be more successful longterm if I didn't so value short term happiness." nor could I imagine IRL someone calling me a fag to my face.
It's caused a lot of introspection and honestly deepened the texture and character of my life knowing all of you and as this will be likely my last post I want to end it by thanking all of you.
I love our community, and I love each individual in our community.
With the exception of Wariat/Mikej Lata, who I wish to see crucified to a middleschool's flag pole or at least hit in the back of the head with a brick when he leaves the drinking establishment he prowls.
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Jiggaboo_Johnson,
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aldra,
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RIPtotse,
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Incessant,
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Aleister Crowley,
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CandyRein,
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Sudo,
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itybit,
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Xlite,
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blaster master,
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The Self Taught Man
Unlike her, I don't tell the police what she's done to me, like whenever I didn't wsnt sex, she'd say I didn't love her and that I was cheating, so I had to have sex to prove I love her and didn't cheat, or when she'd point knives at me and says she hates me, or when she'd belittle me, call me fat, small dick, lazy etc. Or when I wouldn't message back 2 seconds after she'd text, she'd start accusing me of cheating and shit lol
Unlike her, I protect the people I love.
No more. I'm gonna fuck other girls now. I am never dealing with this bitch again... Family courts to see my kid, and I'm moving on.
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Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson
Sure…
"life, It's a bit of a laff innit"
That's a little too optimistic for my likings but I will adapt part of it into my belief structure. I guess maybe yeah, if life is a little bit of a laugh like the type of laugh where you also shake your head and say "oh you."
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Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
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2022-02-21 at 10:22 PM UTC
in
Memorial page
Ok here's Fubi's
Fuck biscuit
Not only were you a friend of mine, but of many around the world. You touched the hearts, penises and vaginas of many also. There were times you helped others when they were down, myself included, and were the life and soul of every party.
I first met Fubi when I joined Zoklet, he lived in the next town from me. We met up regularly when I moved closer and when not together, we would drink on TC with Panny and Co into the early hours. Before Fubi died he was settled down and due to become a father as well as being engaged. I was so proud of how far he had come and how much he had turned his life around before it was taken away too soon. I hope we will meet on the other side and party as we once did all those years ago.
Rest in peace my friend.
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