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Grief
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2022-03-04 at 3:07 PM UTC.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2022-03-04 at 4:02 PM UTCYeah that's definitely not healthy. My baby moms cousin has a shrine to her grandmother that is weird and haunted. Her son went to it at barely the age of 2 and kept saying "nanny nanny" after never meeting her. Went to the graveyard she was buried in too and of all Graves ran right to hers and sat right on it. Something else weird with them too I forget
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2022-03-04 at 4:39 PM UTCIg it’s the having an obsession with a village which is bothering me because it’s ever-changing, that’s too much to take in. I think it’s affecting my identity as well wondering what he would do and that’s giving me a headache.
Do you believe in ghosts? -
2022-03-04 at 4:40 PM UTCLike he can’t be completely dead if I have his traits and now I’m focused on those.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2022-03-04 at 4:48 PM UTC
Originally posted by Kafka Like he can’t be completely dead if I have his traits and now I’m focused on those.
This is where that behavior van he cathartic, but you're not the same person, you're part of the bloodline and you can be as different from him as you want and not be desecration his memory
I don't know your dad so I can't speak to what he would say or do but its difficult for you to do so as well. We tend to lionize people after they pass and hold them in infallible esteem because their story has already been written and they can't do anything to change that
I'm sure though that he would want you to do whatever makes uou happy and whatever is truest to your character. Maybe working on that will allow him to work through you better without th3 obsession with superficial trivialities like hair.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-03-04 at 4:50 PM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2022-03-04 at 8:08 PM UTC
Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson it's hard to tell which ones are telling the truth.
My friend told me that before she did drugs, in her old house she was sitting in her room when books came flying off her shelf. It does seem strange that so many people have testified to seeing them but it could be just to keep the magic alive. I showed my nephew a photo of a unicorn skull and told him it was real. -
2022-03-04 at 8:22 PM UTCMy mother (when she had a brain) fancied herself as a Medium.
Storytime:
My grandparents house was very old and creepy, when I was a kid it was scaring walking around it. My mom told us about her childhood in the house where they saw ghosts and oddities all the time.
A couple of incidents she related:
Her bedroom was a hive of activity of a poltergeist nature...the family would be downstairs and they'd be hearing the furniture moving around up in her room, upon inspecting the bed, drawers, wardrobe etc would be moved/on it's side/thrown around the room...this was apparently a regular thing.
Another one she claimed was six ghostly pallbearers in old 18th/19th century clothing would enter through one wall, walk across the room and exit through the other wall position as if carrying a coffin but not ghostly coffin was present.
When my grandparents moved out of that house and moved in with us (because they were too old and fucked up to look after themselves) my mom and her friends held a seance in the empty house...naturally me and my brother showed up with chains and making "woooo!" noises through the letterbox but they soon chased us off.
Anyway they put a cassette recorder in one of the "active" rooms and left it there for a couple of hours..while they did their "thing" in another room..not much happened apparently but when they listened to the tape a piano could be heard playing and children singing.
...as a side note to this when I was a young fella me lad my mom said "I had the gift" because I take after my moms side. About age 7 we moved into an equally creepy house and I got the scary room as my bedroom. for about a year or more I would suffer terrible nightmares and wake up screaming in the night and when my mom asked me what I saw/dreamed I'd tell her there was a boy hanging from a hook on the back of my bedroom door who would talk shit to me.
I didn't think anything of that for years until many years later when I was in my 40s (and again while she still had a brain) I said "do you remember those bad dreams I used to get as a kid"...she replied (first time me hearing it!)
"I know...me and your dad was really scared at the time, the previous owner of the house was an old woman and she used to do illegal abortions in your bedroom so we were thinking you were connecting with some of the dead spirits"
Wow thanks mom and dad, give me the gateway to hell room and then wonder why I wet the bed.
ETA: the grand parents house is also where an incident with me "allegedly" occurred..when I was a baby I was in my pram in the back room and a globe of ball lightening came through the window (melting a hole), went to my pram and rotated around the handle several times and then shot across the room into a wall outlet and exploded. -
2022-03-04 at 8:24 PM UTC
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2022-03-04 at 8:35 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo Yeah that's definitely not healthy. My baby moms cousin has a shrine to her grandmother that is weird and haunted. Her son went to it at barely the age of 2 and kept saying "nanny nanny" after never meeting her. Went to the graveyard she was buried in too and of all Graves ran right to hers and sat right on it. Something else weird with them too I forget
i dunno. the japanese have the tamaya/butsudan. keeping a household shrine for your dead family is arguably quite normal for humans (generally), it's just maybe a bit out of touch with western socioreligious practices. nothing about what OP said comes across as particularly bad or unhealthy except that she feels it's become obsessive. the actions themselves seem fine tho - just the... fervor... might be unhealthy. 🤷
when my parents die i might keep a small shrine to them, to remember them by. been thinking about it more lately. i dunno.
edit: the hair dyeing thing is probably the most weird thing you've done, OP. weird coping mechanism, but it's not that weird really. our parents dying probably *should* fuck us up and make us do weird shit to cope. the fact that you've gotten a bit weird is, ironically, normal? -
2022-03-04 at 8:58 PM UTC
Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson My mother (when she had a brain) fancied herself as a Medium.
Storytime:
My grandparents house was very old and creepy, when I was a kid it was scaring walking around it. My mom told us about her childhood in the house where they saw ghosts and oddities all the time.
A couple of incidents she related:
Her bedroom was a hive of activity of a poltergeist nature…the family would be downstairs and they'd be hearing the furniture moving around up in her room, upon inspecting the bed, drawers, wardrobe etc would be moved/on it's side/thrown around the room…this was apparently a regular thing.
Another one she claimed was six ghostly pallbearers in old 18th/19th century clothing would enter through one wall, walk across the room and exit through the other wall position as if carrying a coffin but not ghostly coffin was present.
When my grandparents moved out of that house and moved in with us (because they were too old and fucked up to look after themselves) my mom and her friends held a seance in the empty house…naturally me and my brother showed up with chains and making "woooo!" noises through the letterbox but they soon chased us off.
Anyway they put a cassette recorder in one of the "active" rooms and left it there for a couple of hours..while they did their "thing" in another room..not much happened apparently but when they listened to the tape a piano could be heard playing and children singing.
…as a side note to this when I was a young fella me lad my mom said "I had the gift" because I take after my moms side. About age 7 we moved into an equally creepy house and I got the scary room as my bedroom. for about a year or more I would suffer terrible nightmares and wake up screaming in the night and when my mom asked me what I saw/dreamed I'd tell her there was a boy hanging from a hook on the back of my bedroom door who would talk shit to me.
I didn't think anything of that for years until many years later when I was in my 40s (and again while she still had a brain) I said "do you remember those bad dreams I used to get as a kid"…she replied (first time me hearing it!)
"I know…me and your dad was really scared at the time, the previous owner of the house was an old woman and she used to do illegal abortions in your bedroom so we were thinking you were connecting with some of the dead spirits"
Wow thanks mom and dad, give me the gateway to hell room and then wonder why I wet the bed.
ETA: the grand parents house is also where an incident with me "allegedly" occurred..when I was a baby I was in my pram in the back room and a globe of ball lightening came through the window (melting a hole), went to my pram and rotated around the handle several times and then shot across the room into a wall outlet and exploded.
You have the best stories. I think a ghost could be different things so my thoughts differ:
External entity existing after death - Unlikely because energy dissipates and I don’t see how someone who didn’t have the strength to hold onto life can have the energy to live after death.
Entity which was initially manifested internally by a person - Maybe someone’s intense thoughts of a person came to life. Not sure. Could also be hallucinations here.
Visions - This is what I’m most interested in, that ghosts are really visions of people going about their business in the past, maybe someone has seen the past because of a glitch in reality, but it has to be in the place the past events took place, not witnessed through a crystal ball.
Poltergeist - I have wondered if it’s really people from the future vandalising the building when things get knocked around. -
2022-03-04 at 8:59 PM UTC
Originally posted by Meikai i dunno. the japanese have the tamaya/butsudan. keeping a household shrine for your dead family is arguably quite normal for humans (generally), it's just maybe a bit out of touch with western socioreligious practices. nothing about what OP said comes across as particularly bad or unhealthy except that she feels it's become obsessive. the actions themselves seem fine tho - just the… fervor… might be unhealthy. 🤷
when my parents die i might keep a small shrine to them, to remember them by. been thinking about it more lately. i dunno.
edit: the hair dyeing thing is probably the most weird thing you've done, OP. weird coping mechanism, but it's not that weird really. our parents dying probably *should* fuck us up and make us do weird shit to cope. the fact that you've gotten a bit weird is, ironically, normal?
Tbh my hair was dyed black for most of my teens and hairdressers say how it’s like my natural colour, it suits me, so there’s that as well but yes it is weird that I want to look more like him. -
2022-03-04 at 9:01 PM UTC
Originally posted by Meikai i dunno. the japanese have the tamaya/butsudan. keeping a household shrine for your dead family is arguably quite normal for humans (generally), it's just maybe a bit out of touch with western socioreligious practices. nothing about what OP said comes across as particularly bad or unhealthy except that she feels it's become obsessive. the actions themselves seem fine tho - just the… fervor… might be unhealthy. 🤷
when my parents die i might keep a small shrine to them, to remember them by. been thinking about it more lately. i dunno.
edit: the hair dyeing thing is probably the most weird thing you've done, OP. weird coping mechanism, but it's not that weird really. our parents dying probably *should* fuck us up and make us do weird shit to cope. the fact that you've gotten a bit weird is, ironically, normal?
Yeah I took a class at uni which was "religion and death" or something which sounded hawt because i thought it would be more theory but was mostly Asian stuff. Was taught by a literal j00 who seemed agnostic.
If you want something to remind uou of someone you can do that with just one item. I think having abhunch of mementos is literal baggage nahmean -
2022-03-04 at 9:06 PM UTCI never knew western people had such a problem with grief, apparently it's way more of a western problem that people get hung up on death and shit for months and years and stuff, get hung up on their pictures etc.
In the east there is a general sense that life is like a box, you put stuff in it and then you close it up. Then that's wrapped up. Even if you don't particularly believe in heaven, the attitude is the same. Some smaller groups have "death memorials" and stuff and they are considered weird. -
2022-03-04 at 9:11 PM UTC
Originally posted by SEGA Nigga Drive In the east there is a general sense that life is like a box, you put stuff in it and then you close it up. Then that's wrapped up. Even if you don't particularly believe in heaven, the attitude is the same. Some smaller groups have "death memorials" and stuff and they are considered weird.
I was just going through some boxes last night looking for a 7.5 VDC adapter I KNOW I have but couldn't find it..the sense of loss is huge. -
2022-03-04 at 9:23 PM UTC
Originally posted by Meikai i dunno. the japanese have the tamaya/butsudan. keeping a household shrine for your dead family is arguably quite normal for humans (generally), it's just maybe a bit out of touch with western socioreligious practices. nothing about what OP said comes across as particularly bad or unhealthy except that she feels it's become obsessive. the actions themselves seem fine tho - just the… fervor… might be unhealthy. 🤷
when my parents die i might keep a small shrine to them, to remember them by. been thinking about it more lately. i dunno.
edit: the hair dyeing thing is probably the most weird thing you've done, OP. weird coping mechanism, but it's not that weird really. our parents dying probably *should* fuck us up and make us do weird shit to cope. the fact that you've gotten a bit weird is, ironically, normal?
I agree with all of this -
2022-03-04 at 9:57 PM UTCOn the topic of weird responses to grief:
At least you didn't get a dominatrix, kafka. -
2022-03-04 at 10:08 PM UTC
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2022-03-05 at 4:34 AM UTC
Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson My mother (when she had a brain) fancied herself as a Medium.
Storytime:
My grandparents house was very old and creepy, when I was a kid it was scaring walking around it. My mom told us about her childhood in the house where they saw ghosts and oddities all the time.
A couple of incidents she related:
Her bedroom was a hive of activity of a poltergeist nature…the family would be downstairs and they'd be hearing the furniture moving around up in her room, upon inspecting the bed, drawers, wardrobe etc would be moved/on it's side/thrown around the room…this was apparently a regular thing.
Another one she claimed was six ghostly pallbearers in old 18th/19th century clothing would enter through one wall, walk across the room and exit through the other wall position as if carrying a coffin but not ghostly coffin was present.
When my grandparents moved out of that house and moved in with us (because they were too old and fucked up to look after themselves) my mom and her friends held a seance in the empty house…naturally me and my brother showed up with chains and making "woooo!" noises through the letterbox but they soon chased us off.
Anyway they put a cassette recorder in one of the "active" rooms and left it there for a couple of hours..while they did their "thing" in another room..not much happened apparently but when they listened to the tape a piano could be heard playing and children singing.
…as a side note to this when I was a young fella me lad my mom said "I had the gift" because I take after my moms side. About age 7 we moved into an equally creepy house and I got the scary room as my bedroom. for about a year or more I would suffer terrible nightmares and wake up screaming in the night and when my mom asked me what I saw/dreamed I'd tell her there was a boy hanging from a hook on the back of my bedroom door who would talk shit to me.
I didn't think anything of that for years until many years later when I was in my 40s (and again while she still had a brain) I said "do you remember those bad dreams I used to get as a kid"…she replied (first time me hearing it!)
"I know…me and your dad was really scared at the time, the previous owner of the house was an old woman and she used to do illegal abortions in your bedroom so we were thinking you were connecting with some of the dead spirits"
Wow thanks mom and dad, give me the gateway to hell room and then wonder why I wet the bed.
ETA: the grand parents house is also where an incident with me "allegedly" occurred..when I was a baby I was in my pram in the back room and a globe of ball lightening came through the window (melting a hole), went to my pram and rotated around the handle several times and then shot across the room into a wall outlet and exploded.
tldr -
2022-03-05 at 5:13 AM UTCDude ur fine, your supposed to honor and remember thr ones you loved the most in this world. I literally think about my grandpa every single day. I have a little shrine set up but it's not just for him but basically my spirituality as a whole, which he happens to be a part of. There are a couple friends, one in particular, that I literally think about at least every other day and I think this is just the connection of the collective consciousness in the world that we are all living for and experiencing life for. Your life is literally so that the humans after you gain from your DNA and your experiences in order to survive better and evolve.
I consider myself agnostic but I very heavily believe in Occult ideas, ritual Magick, the power of meditation/prayer/thought, and the connection we have on every level from astrologically to divine geometry to demonology to controlled breathing techniques. I think that "God" is the answer to the unknowns in science today and will lead us unto a higher level of consciousness and understanding. There is a reason the catholic church ceremony is performed the way it is just as much as there is a reason why freemasons perform different ceremonies. Everything in this world is energy and there is no matter, it's all energy. Everything you do and everything anyone has done in this world, literally everything, is all just energy. We are all connected through this energy and are essentially one collective consciousness all experiencing life on different levels. This is true for anyone living in any "space-time", or plane of existence. Time is just relative to you in your world, not necessarily other beings who perceive these energy frequencies differently. I believe that children, particularly younger than 4-5 basically when you start having your first memories, are more susceptible to this unknown energy or frequency. That's why they see things adults don't sometimes. I think the powers that be are keen to this knowledge as well and have systematically dulled our "enlightenment" abilities through everyday life by ways of food/water supply and possibly through wifi/radio/sattellite/saturn-moon matrix.
Basically you will forever have a connection to your dad like this so start using it for the better, and also you will make more connections in due time. Time is the ultimate healer and I promise you any issue you think this is giving you just give it time and it will get better, guaranteed.
Or maybe I'm just an idiotThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
