Angry Dragon Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon
Beef Curtain The skanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour of jimmy-jam. (see also BEEF DRAPES or MEAT TARP)
Beetle Clip You insert your thumb into the snatch and forefinger into the poop shoot and try your damnedest to make them touch each other
Bismarck This is another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together
Blumpkin You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter
Boston Cooler Any form of oral stimulation in which you cleverly conceal ice cubes in you mouth to surprise your partner
Bronco When you're taking a girl doggy-style and just at the moment of climax you reach around, grab her tits as tightly as you can, scream out another girl's name, and enjoy the sensation as she tries to buck you off
Bucking Bronco An all time classic. You start by going doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off
Bullwinkle When you're entering your partner from the rear and you reach up front, wrench her nipples as hard as you can, put your hands up to the sides of your head like antlers, and wiggle your fingers and stick out your tongue while emitting a high pitched turkey gobble
Camel Clutch When she's lying on her stomach with you giving it to her from behind and you decide to emulate the Iron Sheik through his signature move, grabbing her underneath the chin and pulling straight back with both hands
Chili Dog You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her
Clean Sweep Any four of these performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening
Code of Silence Anytime you fuck a girl that's so dirty or ugly that you rip off the used condom, gag her with it, and tell her that you'll kill her if she tells a soul what just happened between the two of you
Coyote This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful
Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favorite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends
Davy Crockett A sexual maneuver in which you slip a muscle relaxant into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap
Dirty Sanchez A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez. AKA Filthy Sanchez
Divot A must for golfers! When you've got your hand below the belt on some girl with a fair amount of bush, you grab on to as much of it as you can, scream "Fore!" and rip every last pube out of her
Dog in a Bathtub This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath
Dolphin When you're giving it to a girl from behind and you pull out to stuff it in her butt when she turns her head around and whimpers, "Uh Uh, Uh Uh," sounding exactly like a dolphin
Donkey Punch Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up
Dutch Oven Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well
Dutch Oven Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing)
Dutch Treat The unexpected result of a DUTCH OVEN gone terribly awry. Very messy. (see GAMBLING AND LOSING)
Eiffel Tower When you and a friend decide to work a girl over together. You get her down on all fours with one of you in her mouth and the other going at it doggy style. From this position you give one another a mighty, two-handed high five, making the entire structure resemble the Eiffel tower
Felching A homosexual activity in which one guy fucks another and proceeds to suck his own splooge out of his partner's asshole with a straw. This one's not even popular in prison
Fish Eye From behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing
Fishhook This is a variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus
Flaming Amazon This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!
Flying Camel As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a high class move
Fortune Cookie After you're done banging some chick, you slip the condom off as you pull out, leaving it in there for the next customer
Fountain of You While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
Free Willy When you've worked up such a throbber that when some girl unzips your pants to give you a hummer, you spring forth and poke her eye out harpoon style
Frothy Walrus When a man is getting a blow job. At the point of orgasm (assuming that the performer swallows) the blowee punches the blower in the stomach, causing the semen to shoot out their nose. If punching is too violent (but who are you kidding after you just did a donkey punch?) tell a very funny joke
Fur Ball You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her
Gaylord Perry Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple)
Glass Bottom Boat Putting saran wrap over your partners face and proceeding to lay a hot shit there
Glazed Doughnut The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spoo-ing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut. (see also COP'S DELIGHT)
Gobstopper When you're receiving a hand job and just as you're about to come, the girl decides to squeeze your unit with all of her might and cap you off with her thumb
Golden Shower Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- water sports)
Grand Slam Any four of these performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening
Greek The act of using your "glue stick" and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed. eg. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey, but you asked for the greek salad"
Hat Trick Any two of these performed over the course of a single evening
High Dive The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's hole, and in one motion jamming it home again. Best used in the CORN HOLE technique, but can be very dangerous
Hot Karl The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her can. (see also CORN HOLE)
Hot Karl Candy Cane A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around. (See also SHOCKER)
Hot Lunch While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)
Houdini Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it
Hummer While sucking on your rod, she emits a low humming noise. The vibrations from her throat make it all too easy to bring her concert to a quick end
Jelly Doughnut A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head
Kennebunkport Surprise The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while chewing box
Moose The sign given to a friend in hiding while in doggie style behind some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky" (see also BULLWINKLE)
Mudslide After convincing some girl to give you a little ass munching action, you proceed to unleash a massive flow of diarrhea and sit there and laugh as it runs down her face and body
New York Style Taco Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails
Nixon A variation of the MOOSE in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum
One in the Fridge, One in the Freezer Another one that requires a partner, this simply refers to you and a buddy putting one in her pussy and another in her butt, and simultaneously trying to reach her uterus and large intestine
Oven Stuffed Roaster The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from behind. (see also NEW JERSEY MEAT HOOK)
Pasadena Mudslide The act of leaving a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blow job. (A close cousin to the CLEVELAND STEAMER)
Paying The Rent A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the balk of her calves and bangs ferociously
Pearl Necklace Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jedielry
Pink glove This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove
Purple Mushroom This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom
Ram Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. This is very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity
Rape and Pillage Any four of these performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening
Rapunzel When no amount of suggestion, persuasion, or begging will get a girl to go down on you and you're forced to resort to simply pulling her head down there by the hair
Ray-Bans Put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on fore head) It may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try
Rear Admiral An absolute blast. When getting a chic from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips
Rim Job Another name for tossing salad. Focuses on the use of the tongue
Rodeo A variation of the Bronco where a bunch of your closest friends are hidden in a bedroom closet prior to the sexual encounter. At some type of a prompt, they all run out with a video camera and you try and see how long you can stay on as she tries to get away
Roscoe Can't achieve an erection when your partner is fellating you? pull that chubby one-eyed-charmer out of her mouth and give her a few whacks. For more fun have Roscoe contests with your buddies!
Rumpledforeskin When some girl makes you stop fucking her because she somehow realizes that you don't remember her name, causing you to go limp (like the fairy tale)
Samoan Pile Driver A sexual position that occurs when the woman's back and bed are perpendicular, but she is upside down (see also FLOAT VALVE). The practitioner of the PILE DRIVER stands above the woman and points his shit due south, simply bending his knees for repeated bludgeoning. This process is repeated while screaming, "ABDAY ABDAY ABDAY, HA!" Repeat and Rinse
Screwnicorn When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn
Skull Fuck The act of removing a person's eye (unless you really luck out and find someone who's already lost one) and fucking the gaping hole left in its place
Six Pack When performing the above and you attempt to carry the girl around (similar to the way you would a six pack)
Shocker When you're fingering a girl and decide to give her a surprise so you insert a digit or two into her asshole
Shop-Vac The act of making a chick inhale your hog from behind while you're "pulling the V". (see FRUIT BASKET, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS)
Snow Balling Occurs when some chick takes your load in her mouth and has the audacity come up and kiss you while it's still in there
Snowmobile Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face
Stinky Pinky When you're going at it from the back and you insert a pinky finger in along side your member, reach around front, and plunge it so far into her nostril that it tilts her head back
Stranger Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else
Tea Bagging The all time classic maneuver of tapping your cock on a chick's forehead whilst she is sucking on your balls, and uttering the timeless phrase "Who's Your daddy?"
Technical Knockout (TKO) Any three of these performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening
Topeka Destroyer The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio (See also COLD LUNCH)
Tossing Salad Another prison act where one person is forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison
Triple Crown Any three of these performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening
Trombone This is when the female lies on the deck, face up. You then squat over her face facing her feet. You lower your ass down so that your hoop rests on her lips. She then blows up your hoop, feeds her hand between your legs and wanks you off at the same time
Tuna Melt You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face
V-Plow When you're muff diving and in order to look up at the girl you drag your whole face through her snatch, nose proudly leading the way, parting that nasty labia
Vegetarian Hot Lunch A variation of the HOT LUNCH in which the "diner" stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs (see DENTAL DAM)
Western Grip When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western
Wet Burrito Similar to the Dirty Sanchez, only performed with your own ball sweat
Wolf Bagging The beginners maneuver of waiting until your lover (or wife I suppose) is beginning to orgasm, punch her repeatedly in the stomach. This will induce vomit and screaming. The vomiting will create convulsing, which intensifies her orgasm. The punching and screaming will satisfy your violent rape fantasies. and reinforce your feelings of superiority. Chanting 'I'm the Master, I'm the Master' will add to this feeling. The important thing is your doing it for HER pleasure, which will strengthen her respect for you, and, if she's gobby, will increase your chances of getting a ride from one of her mates
Woody Woodpecker When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap the head of your cock on her forehead
Zombie Mask While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
