Originally posted by Vizier
In hindsight, none. Every single one who I thought had "gotten away" ended up either riding the cock carrousel somewhere, or having kids each one with a different dad, marrying some tool because she was approaching 30 and she wanted kids and a wedding asap, or being fake.
I've also been in that situation where you're drunk and meet someone only to later find out beer goggles turn your dick into a starving dreamer or to don't remember a girl or not care about her later. Sometimes you'll somehow get a number or find her on facebook. All you remember is thinking "wow she's pretty, maybe this can turn into something serious" only to realize she's a basic bitch that likes to do shit like going to IHOP to pay like 40 dollars for eggs and pancakes and post aobut it on social media.
This post was chill until the tone changed and now all I can picture is you in a leather jacket under the street lights waiting on love
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Oh! It happened a while ago, but I guess it counts? There was this girl who I kinda liked, chatted to her online and stuff for a while. But when I met her in real life, she din't really seem interested. She actually ended up blocking me hahahahah. It was a real kick to the ego.
But oh well, can't win 'em all. :P
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Originally posted by Vizier
Nuke Mexico City and the surrounding areas.
Ah, you're back! You've missed a lot of excitement, so I'll catch you up. The girl that Bill Krozby raped became a top contributor and then left, at the peak of her notoriety. Enter and Jeremus (Captain Falcon) reached a sort of internet checkmate - or so they would have us believe. Dfg banned us from r/Totse and we came very near intersite warfare before he and Lanny achieved an historical concordance.
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i stood there filming that for like a minute not realizing i must have caught the screen and stopped recording. see now why i hate fucking touch screen pieces of shit.
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Originally posted by NARCassist
i made that joke up and told it on zoklet but it was about paul walker. the joke being that paul walker was thrown through the window to the other side of the road. princess diana never left the vehicle. not until the paramedics got her out anyway.
sorry, did i just ruin your joke?
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The Paul Walker one I hear most is "I added Paul Walker on Xbox Live but he spends all his time on the dashboard"
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Originally posted by AngryOnion
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mom and says, “Look, Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look, Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the kid back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes, and I already hate you, black people!”
Lol, I always liked that one
Whose five years old and has no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor
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Originally posted by Vizier
Seriously. I'd toss the demon bitch on the dirty floor and tear her clothes apart while pulling her hair and licking her neck as she hissed some gibberish. Then I'd pull my cock out and raw dog her until her pussy bathed my dick and balls with sulfur smelling black goo. I'd put on this song and every time they said "satanic speeeed metal" I'd punch her on the nape of her neck so hard her demon snatch would clamp on my rock solid penis as I yelled "PATER SATAN IN MANUS TUAS COMMENDO SPIRITUM MEUM". She'd claw on the ground and belch guttural glossosalia until I fill her fiery pussy with my unholy cum. I'd pull out, wipe my dick on her ass of ashes and tell her to fuck off from whence she came.
then she takes off her mask, and it's a guy. CATFISHED.
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**As a teen, Cruz was accused of beating his mother with a plastic hose. Additionally, cops were called to Cruz’s home four years ago after he allegedly threw his mother against a wall for drinking his starbucks coffee.
HONK?!
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