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Posts That Were Thanked by CASPER
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2020-04-16 at 10:06 PM UTC in What are you listening to right now, space nigga?
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2020-04-16 at 6:16 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!I was 18. I was gonna take a grey hound back to Montana. A grueling three day bus ride. So I decided to get decked out. Went to the second hand suit/dress shop and told them I wanted to be decked out in a white tux. They pull one out and say this one's good but the tails are pretty long. They hung to my knees. It was perfect. They got me white gloves and white dress shoes and said they could get a white top hat from his dads store for $20. Come by in the morning to pick it up.
It's me, Poast and his girlfriend who liked being choked with a stump hand. After some delays the guy shows up in a shitty van and gives over the suit. I think I just threw it on immediately and the guy would drive us to his dads store to grab the hat. This was back in our whip it days. Poast and his girl are blatantly doing whip it in the back seat and I'm riding shot gun chatting with the dude.
Pick up the hat and guy drives us back and fucks off. So we needed to go to the bank to take out all my money. $314 or something. Poast jokes that I want it all in ones. Sounds funny to me.I take one of the stacks of hundreds and put it in my front pocket and we start walking to the mall. A buddy sees us and pulls over and gives us a ride the rest of the way. When I got out of the car that stack in my pocket must've fallen out because next time I looked, it was gone.
We were running wild. Doing whip its, talking shit probably. I got a picture of me sitting on Santas lap. My mom might still have that one. I can't remember if it was this time or a different time but we're doing whip its behind the mall. Then we're walking back in from the back halls and security grabs the kid wearing my back pack. I made him wear it so I didn't look retarded. WE wait around and find him. They just took all the whip its but left my cracker. Huh.
It was a long time ago so I'm sure I forgot a bunch of smaller stories of that day. I was a spectacle on the greyhound and in greyhound stations. People would ask why was I looking like the flyest mother fucker since '84? I'd respond with, "I got left at the altar." or, "My dog died." or something stupid. I showed up to my parents around 11 and my dad wakes up. Gives me a hug after looking me up and down and thinking what an idiot. I didn't even call in advance to let them know I was coming. It worked out though. They were moving and could use the help. However, if I had showed up a week later they wouldn't have been there. I would've been stuck, in the middle of winter in Montana with no way to contact anyone. Would've been funny showing up at the shelter in a baller tux though.
Unrelated one time I was being a dousche in the mall. I did something and a fat security guard tells me to some here. I say no. He get more forceful, "I said come here!" This guy was fat as fuck. I respond, "Why you can't catch me." And slowly jogged away.
One time an old man flipped me off. I forget what I did but it must've been a pretty assholish thing for this guy to waste his last fuck on me.
One time, 4th of July, me and my buddies had been drinking and riding our bikes through the crowd. This girl steps out of no where and I slam into her. WE both go down and this girls grand dad is in my face screaming, "FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK YOU!" The cop that showed up was the cop from our high school who was a really cool dude. Poast and I would talk to him after school waiting for our bus. I asked him a Ween lyric once. "Why do the ones you hold so close can make you cry?" And he gets all deep. "Well, I feel like if you love someone you have to open yourself to your vulnerability and it doesn't always pan out." Or some gay shit. It wasn't very funny. Any ways, when I went to pick up my bike my breaks were undone. Pretty sure that cop got me off.
That's enough for now. I got stories for days.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-04-16 at 5:48 PM UTC in What are you doing at the momenthey star trek do you think Anna spyzsz could ever create the kind of abstrsct and cutttong edge gay porn like you see on totse? this is thr kind of gay porn that makes the big buck. or do u see pesky tranvels talking about this kind of gay porn? what would u do star trekThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-16 at 3:01 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get off that bus editionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-16 at 2:53 PM UTC in WARIAT FINALLY GETS TOLD HE IS A RETARD
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2020-04-16 at 2:40 PM UTC in WARIAT FINALLY GETS TOLD HE IS A RETARDThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-16 at 11:33 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!So one time I decided I can't fucking deal with OMGPLZUNBAN because I have lots of stressful shit going on, and he's too stupid to not piss me off. Figured I'd take a break from the guy, but wish him the best from a distance.
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago during the height of this pandemic scare, and I hear OMG's super depressed and shit. Told some girl I've been sleeping around with the situation to get her thoughts on it, and she told me to call him and try to cheer him up because even though I'm butthurt, I obviously care about him. Solid advice, I guess, if you don't understand how absolute degenerate pieces of shit my friends are.
I call up OMG, he's shocked and overjoyed. We shoot the shit for a while while we're both shitfaced, and I let slip how much I hate my cats. I'm drunk enough to be claiming I'm probably going to murder one of them, and OMG is taken aback. He tells me he'll take one off my hands before he lets me do that. I think "hell yeah, gonna get rid of this cat that I was too pussy to ever follow through with getting rid of!" Called him back the next day, and he confirmed he was still down to take it.
Called the girl, and told her about how I need to plan a road trip to visit him now. She offers to bankroll the trip. So just like that, in the middle of a worldwide emergency, I'm roadtripping through five states to deliver a cat to some drunk and lonely asshole. The morning I'm about to start driving, OMG texts me and tells me to invite the girl, too. I figure she'll just shoot me down, because she's pretty sensitive to loud assholes and is VERY politically correct. I warn her that she'll probably get offended if she shows up. She says she's well aware of OMG's stupidity and can handle it. Neither of us took into account how OMG has changed in the post-Trump era, or we just assumed he'd put a fucking lid on it as a courtesy.
The trip took almost 20 hours of high speed driving with a cat screaming in the back of the car, and when we show up, OMG is TRASHED. Looks like he hadn't slept in days, but he's super excited to see us. He's pretty well behaved for the most part, and the instances of alarming dangerousness were attributed to him just being drunk. We hang out a few hours, then eventually me and the girl get hit with the driving fatigue. We tell OMG we're going to bed, he hooks us up with blankets, and then goes to his room. Ten fucking minutes later, he storms into the living room and just shouts something to the effect "I fucking HATE niggers!"
I don't even open my eyes and can see this shit is going downhill quick. I tell him "Go to bed, bro, you don't know what you're doing."
Then he just keeps asking us antisemetic jokes waiting for us to answer, getting frustrated that we just keep telling him to go to bed, and then giving us the punchlines. Eventually the girl yells at him to shut the fuck up and go to bed, and he gets butthurt and leaves the room. Once all was quiet, the girl says "I don't feel safe here" and I am just like fuuuuuuck.
I talk her into spending time with OMG the next day, but she can't be convinced to stay another night.
Next morning, I'm half asleep, and she rolls over to face me. I kiss her forehead, and she half asleep says "stop kissing me faggot." We both get startled awake by OMG hovering the fuck over us and laughing his ass off. We just stare at him in horror as he's killing a beer. I check the time, and we literally only slept 2 hours, and here that magnificent bastard is, wide awake, cackling at us and appearing for all intents and purposes to have been watching us sleep. The girl and I are both very alarmed, and without words, agree this is fucking sketchy.
Things happen, we buy breakfast, and the girl is brushing her teeth. OMG and I are in the living room, and he asks me if I want to stay a few more nights. I tell him "dude, we were PLANNING on that, and I'm pretty sure you fucked it all up with that racist shit last night. Maybe kiss girl's ass, and we can work on convincing her it's still cool to do that."
OMG looks at me like he understands, chugs some beer, and then yells in the direction of the bathroom "I'M SORRY YOU DON'T THINK MAKING FUN OF NIGGERS AND jediS IS FUNNY! I'D MAKE FUN OF WHITE PEOPLE, BUT THERE'S JUST NO GOOD JOKES ABOUT THEM!"
And at that moment I knew the girl and I would be leaving as soon as possible.
I've told OMG this story like 3 times already, but he keeps asking me why we didn't stay longer. Now that it's typed out, maybe he'll remember. I didn't even hit on all the horrifying shit he did, just the stuff that ensured he'd piss off the girl he invited over (and also paid for the whole trip). I love the guy, but he's a goddamn monster.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-04-16 at 11:30 AM UTC in Should we open the country now?Terrifying decision to make. But it's summer, and people need to be at work. Based on the numbers it's clear that the lockdown isn't working, and it's common sense that even if it did, Corona will be back this winter, worse than ever.
Unlike China Americans and Europeans don't/won't wear masks and don't have the societal organisation or the will to do extraordinary things to get rid of viruses. That's what living in a globalised heterogenous diverse and multicultural society is like.
I expect to be back in the office this summer, then working from home again this winter.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-04-16 at 4:03 AM UTC in Comrade Bernie finally endorses Joe 'Barabbas' Biden.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-16 at 1:44 AM UTC in WARIAT FINALLY GETS TOLD HE IS A RETARD
Before I respond to your entire post it is a lot to take in so I will only respond to some parts I disagree with. Not every artist is good at everything. Look at Hitler when he started out.
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2020-04-16 at 1:34 AM UTC in WARIAT FINALLY GETS TOLD HE IS A RETARDwariat you need a intervention man & serious cognitive enhancing meds.
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2020-04-16 at 12:32 AM UTC in What are you doing at the momentlistening to salem wiht mash and gaythrax listening to salem about to toke fam, this is howie do it famThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-16 at 12:25 AM UTC in WARIAT FINALLY GETS TOLD HE IS A RETARDThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-16 at 12:16 AM UTC in WARIAT FINALLY GETS TOLD HE IS A RETARD
Ehy eould a company shoehorn something like Adobe down someone’s throwt if they can get wround to it using their software or it impedes thir work or make it twke longer what they could do using an apple pencil or stylus?
Nevermind.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-04-16 at 12:15 AM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-15 at 10:42 PM UTC in WARIAT FINALLY GETS TOLD HE IS A RETARD
I applied already but it seems it is a Spanish language only application so I dont even know what it said.
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2020-04-15 at 10:34 PM UTC in WARIAT FINALLY GETS TOLD HE IS A RETARDOctavian I really dont want to end up in prison again. Please quit.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-15 at 9:59 PM UTC in WARIAT FINALLY GETS TOLD HE IS A RETARDNormie reacts to wariat shitposting:
Everything you keep saying is irrelevant banter.
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2020-04-15 at 9:50 PM UTC in WARIAT FINALLY GETS TOLD HE IS A RETARDThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-04-15 at 9:50 PM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
Originally posted by CASPER i make 13 an hour and thats not even enough for me to live off of. Even if i were sharing an apartment, that pretty much would only cover rent, food, insurance. Not tome tion where i work is 8n an u incorporated part of the county so if i got another job 1 mile closer to home id get paid an extra $3 an hour.
Dude that sucks. I was making that much at the fona factory job i had but the only thing good about it was the overtime and double timeThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
