2020-03-04 at 7:07 AM UTC
in
Random Thoughts
SHE MEANS SHE OWNS A STURDY, FEARSOME STRAP ON
HEARD
are the boneless wings what u call her platypus feet?
If so this seems like a bargain
April...halvsies?
She actually owes the NRS #1488 tootsies in Hood Tax which has heretofore been unpaid.
I dont want to see anyone go to jail. You seem like a couple of good kids. But the law is the law.
YEA STOP GETTIN MAH NIGGAHZ DICK PERPETUALLY HARD YA THOT WHATCHU THINK THIS SHIT IS BITCH, SUMMER CAMP?
IT AINT A GAME
ow my back. HOW INSENTITIVE
NOW IM IN YOU TOO OH SNAP
Theres a video of a girl slicing her cheeks and tits with a razor blade to that song. Vry arousing.
restamp for mmq being the most brazen bull of all
I cant eat pananas anymore bc apparently my blood pressure meds increase levels of potassium in the blood and ill die.
So bananas are now my kryptonite. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Survived MRSA and heroin addiction and got took out by a plantain.
2020-03-04 at 4:53 AM UTC
in
Fucking Joe Biden
Voted Tulsi gabbard bc fuck the po-lice.
I maaaaaaay vote bernie in the November election, but if it comes down to anyone except he or gabbard, im voting trump.
i cant even do pushups anymore. my shoulders pop out of socket. My doctor believes this is completely normal. i gues its possible low testosterone atrophied my muscles enough over the years that its just cartiledge on bone now.
bamp 4 winged chink death
Yeah i spend part of my days depressed, part of the day angry as fuck gritting my teeth so hard my jaw hurts, and the restof the time imagining my normal life with a bunch of different women, and what our kids would probably look like, and what normie career field id end up in.
Its fucked and i dont like it lol
Everything hurts. Leg REALLY fucking hurts. When i stand up, theres a divot in the right side of my butt almost like a strip of muscle was removed. idk.
i mulled over my romantic dilemma and decided this is a good training exercise for how i need to manage how i feel. Confronting her or even telling her how i feel would be selfish.Its about making me feel better, sparing my feelings. Ill always love her but at this point id probably end up hurting her and that would make me feel even worse. Its really easy for me to get stuck on people and situations and feelings when my self esteem is dogshit and i feel like ill never have anything better. I need to work on being a decent person even when im not making money off someone, getting my dick sucked, getting my ego stroked, emotional gratification, connections, etc. Other people being happy doesnt need to make me feel bad or lacking. Its not a zero sum game, and its mental illness to believe that it is.
Id been kinda gutted and mopey about the whole situation until she called last night and said her friend killed himself. And then it went all from like wanting to be a little faggot and subtly let her know i was unhappy to actually wanting to make sure she was okay. And i felt better after the fact. And i feel better bc its a tiny tangible way i can see growth in myself. Ive always been selfish in the real ways. On a surface level ive always done charity work and sending things to friends and shit...but usually bc it made ME feel good somehow. I cant remember the last time i did something selfless for someone else, even when it made me feel less than great. I think thats changing and its kinda cool.
I still dont know what the fuck my higher power is, but I do know that obsessing over shit like this has made me miserable. Since i was like....12 years old. Every time id feel sad or rejected or unnoticed or whatever, id drink, or smoke weed, or break into houses or cars, or box someone or get in a fight, put a hole ina wall, snort some meth with a homeless dude. Theres definitely a common thread here. But i never really felt okay...i just felt less of everything. And in some cases it just plunged me low enough that everything was so dark i couldnt feel the difference anymore. So obsessing and hanging onto shit doesnt help, clearly. I dont know if ill always be able to handle things this way, but at least at the moment (until i post some mire faggot shit next week), im comfortable just letting shit go. I like myself better that way. I feel stronger when im somewhat in control and not at the mercy of people, places, things, feelings. All i can control is how i react to shit, and ultimately thats going to decide whether i continue to be miserable, or carve out a life in which im fulfilled and confident, balanced, happy and healthy.
