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The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
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2020-02-29 at 12:23 PM UTCI’m on a benzo daily already. It’s a pretty small amount.
Just cyclobenzaprine, right now. One doc gave me Valium as a muscle relaxer. It actually worked better than this shit, but they’re stingy with that shit. I didn’t know Valium could be used as a muscle relaxer. -
2020-02-29 at 12:33 PM UTC
Originally posted by Technologist I’m on a benzo daily already. It’s a pretty small amount.
Just cyclobenzaprine, right now. One doc gave me Valium as a muscle relaxer. It actually worked better than this shit, but they’re stingy with that shit. I didn’t know Valium could be used as a muscle relaxer.
Valium is like the best muscle relaxant other than Soma. -
2020-02-29 at 12:34 PM UTC
Originally posted by Technologist I’m on a benzo daily already. It’s a pretty small amount.
Just cyclobenzaprine, right now. One doc gave me Valium as a muscle relaxer. It actually worked better than this shit, but they’re stingy with that shot. I didn’t know Valium could be used as a muscle relaxer.
All benzos are muscle relaxers to some degree or another. Cyclobenzaprine actually works on your serotonin it's a 5-HT2A antagonist, that means it turns a class of serotonin signaling receptors off. Benzos like Valium are positive allosteric modulators of GABAergic receptors. That means they regulate the way in which your body uses GABA.
Different mechanisms, same effects. It's important to remember however that medicine is more like carpet bombing than a precision strike. -
2020-02-29 at 12:36 PM UTC@Solstice
Yeah, I never knew that, so I looked it up, and by golly, the first thing it said was “Muscle relaxer”. The only sucky thing about it is you have to dose close to every 4 hours. -
2020-02-29 at 12:38 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie All benzos are muscle relaxers to some degree or another. Cyclobenzaprine actually works on your serotonin it's a 5-HT2A antagonist, that means it turns a class of serotonin signaling receptors off. Benzos like Valium are positive allosteric modulators of GABAergic receptors. That means they regulate the way in which your body uses GABA.
Different mechanisms, same effects. It's important to remember however that medicine is more like carpet bombing than a precision strike.
Tell me about GABA receptors. I saw someone say it’s makes it so you feel nothing over time. Not the gaba receptors of course, but the gabapentin and benzo I use. -
2020-02-29 at 1:03 PM UTC
Originally posted by Technologist Tell me about GABA receptors. I saw someone say it’s makes it so you feel nothing over time. Not the gaba receptors of course, but the gabapentin and benzo I use.
Let's get our definitions squared first. Benzo i use as shorthand for benzodiazepine class of medications. They are unlike gabapentin, because gabapentin and stuff like Lyrica are GABAmimetics. That means they imitate the effects GABA has. Benzos modulate the effects GABA has.
Also the question of what 'feeling' means on a neuro-chemical level is way to complex to say: Oh yeah, GABAergics make you stop feeling by any scientific definition of the word, if there even is such a thing. Now, GABA receptors mainly have an inhibitory role. That means they stop the signaling for certain neurons. WHY!? It's a complex question but here is a nice way to think about it. Think of all the pixels in your screen right now, if they were all off the screen would be black if they were all on the screen would be white. They need to turn on and off in certain patterns to form a constellation of sorts that conveys a set of information. Think of your brain in the same way, it needs to fire in certain constellations of lights in order to produce all the effects that it does.
Now, with that metaphor in mind think of GABA as one of the receptor groups that is responsible for turning pixels in the constellation off. Just as important as turning pixels on i might add.
In summary, you will not stop 'feeling' as you know it by using GABAergics, but you don't want to be dependent on them either because then your brain can only fire on full blast without them(If serious). For the most part.
If you need more information i need to write an essay. -
2020-02-29 at 1:09 PM UTC
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2020-02-29 at 1:18 PM UTCNo, that was a nice synopsis.
I’m on 1200 mg of gabapentin for neuropathy in my legs from a botched surgery. Not sure I can go off them unless these nerves in my legs quit misfiring.
Benzos, or Bennies also. When I heard someone say they make it so you don’t feel anything, a bell went off in my head. I remember back to 2000, when my father died. I was on k-pins for about 3 years by then. My Dad was my idol, I thought I was going to lose it at his services, but I didn’t. I almost felt guilty for not crying. The only thing I could think caused that was my k-pins. -
2020-02-29 at 1:23 PM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER The stuff online just said dont discontinue it right away or youll kill yourself or someshit. But from 200 to 100 to 25 i feel pretty okay
was hoping itd at least delay orgasm a bit but didnt seem to do a fucking thing lol
in hindsight im wondering if i fucked this up.
I was on an SSRI for 4 months and one day everything twisted the wrong way in my mind. Ending it became a wholly positive reaction until remembered that i cant neck myself till my dad dies somehow.
SSRI's are wack
a psychiatrist prescribed bupripion a few months ago but im still afraid to take them -
2020-02-29 at 1:33 PM UTC
Originally posted by Technologist No, that was a nice synopsis.
I’m on 1200 mg of gabapentin for neuropathy in my legs from a botched surgery. Not sure I can go off them unless these nerves in my legs quit misfiring.
Benzos, or Bennies also. When I heard someone say they make it so you don’t feel anything, a bell went off in my head. I remember back to 2000, when my father died. I was on k-pins for about 3 years by then. My Dad was my idol, I thought I was going to lose it at his services, but I didn’t. I almost felt guilty for not crying. The only thing I could think caused that was my k-pins.
If we follow through on our metaphor feeling a certain way can be represented as a constellation of brain activity also. Benzos dampen the amount your brain can fire quite effectively. So don't feel bad your ability to feel was suppressed at that time. -
2020-02-29 at 1:45 PM UTCMy dose has been cut in half since then, and I’m still tapering down........very slowly. I want to feel things fully again, but I don’t like feeling anxious/high strung.
I went off of them before. Sweated my ass off for 3 months. I remember vividly, watching an ice skater pulling off a beautiful program in competition. It gave me chills, something I rarely feel. I attributed that to being off the benzos.
Just want a nice balance. -
2020-02-29 at 1:51 PM UTCKeep tapering under supervision and you'll be Gucci.
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2020-02-29 at 1:54 PM UTC
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2020-02-29 at 2:17 PM UTC
Originally posted by Technologist Exactly what I’m doing. My doc would prefer I be off them, but I’m doing it the way I need to.
Sounds good, it also might be an idea to consider a different line of treatment for symptoms that persist after you'd expect the withdrawal related symptoms to end. Like if your base-line is a state of anxiety, talk to a psychologist. Not saying you're crazy, just to keep an open mind when considering treatment for certain things. -
2020-02-29 at 3:27 PM UTCOops getting drunk...and had a couple Aleves for this weird neck issue I am having. Sleep and wake up fine...give it a few hrs than its hurting all day for over a week now. Fuck off neck.
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2020-03-03 at 7:03 PM UTCEverything hurts. Leg REALLY fucking hurts. When i stand up, theres a divot in the right side of my butt almost like a strip of muscle was removed. idk.
i mulled over my romantic dilemma and decided this is a good training exercise for how i need to manage how i feel. Confronting her or even telling her how i feel would be selfish.Its about making me feel better, sparing my feelings. Ill always love her but at this point id probably end up hurting her and that would make me feel even worse. Its really easy for me to get stuck on people and situations and feelings when my self esteem is dogshit and i feel like ill never have anything better. I need to work on being a decent person even when im not making money off someone, getting my dick sucked, getting my ego stroked, emotional gratification, connections, etc. Other people being happy doesnt need to make me feel bad or lacking. Its not a zero sum game, and its mental illness to believe that it is.
Id been kinda gutted and mopey about the whole situation until she called last night and said her friend killed himself. And then it went all from like wanting to be a little faggot and subtly let her know i was unhappy to actually wanting to make sure she was okay. And i felt better after the fact. And i feel better bc its a tiny tangible way i can see growth in myself. Ive always been selfish in the real ways. On a surface level ive always done charity work and sending things to friends and shit...but usually bc it made ME feel good somehow. I cant remember the last time i did something selfless for someone else, even when it made me feel less than great. I think thats changing and its kinda cool.
I still dont know what the fuck my higher power is, but I do know that obsessing over shit like this has made me miserable. Since i was like....12 years old. Every time id feel sad or rejected or unnoticed or whatever, id drink, or smoke weed, or break into houses or cars, or box someone or get in a fight, put a hole ina wall, snort some meth with a homeless dude. Theres definitely a common thread here. But i never really felt okay...i just felt less of everything. And in some cases it just plunged me low enough that everything was so dark i couldnt feel the difference anymore. So obsessing and hanging onto shit doesnt help, clearly. I dont know if ill always be able to handle things this way, but at least at the moment (until i post some mire faggot shit next week), im comfortable just letting shit go. I like myself better that way. I feel stronger when im somewhat in control and not at the mercy of people, places, things, feelings. All i can control is how i react to shit, and ultimately thats going to decide whether i continue to be miserable, or carve out a life in which im fulfilled and confident, balanced, happy and healthy.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-03-03 at 8:44 PM UTCThem feelings got you fucked up worse than me on a benzo bender
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2020-03-03 at 9 PM UTCYeah i spend part of my days depressed, part of the day angry as fuck gritting my teeth so hard my jaw hurts, and the restof the time imagining my normal life with a bunch of different women, and what our kids would probably look like, and what normie career field id end up in.
Its fucked and i dont like it lolThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-03-03 at 9:09 PM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER Yeah i spend part of my days depressed, part of the day angry as fuck gritting my teeth so hard my jaw hurts, and the restof the time imagining my normal life with a bunch of different women, and what our kids would probably look like, and what normie career field id end up in.
Its fucked and i dont like it lol
If you're angry just exercise. Push the floor to the center of the fucking earth doing push-ups. -
2020-03-04 at 4:37 AM UTCi cant even do pushups anymore. my shoulders pop out of socket. My doctor believes this is completely normal. i gues its possible low testosterone atrophied my muscles enough over the years that its just cartiledge on bone now.
