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Posts That Were Thanked by blackbird

  1. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    on the topic of youtube, youtube-dl (https://rg3.github.io/youtube-dl/) is a simple python script and is the fastest and most reliable way to rip videos (works on many other 'tube'-type sites as well)
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  2. stl1 Cum Lickin' Fagit
    SMART ASS ANSWER #6

    It was mealtime during an airline flight.

    'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

    'What are my choices?' John asked.

    'Yes or no.' she replied.



    SMART ASS ANSWER #5

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

    Without missing a beat, she said 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'



    SMART ASS ANSWER #4

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

    The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead...'



    SMART ASS ANSWER #3

    The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day.' the officer said.

    The kid replied 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'

    When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.



    SMART ASS ANSWER #2

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.

    Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says 'Got stuck, huh?'

    The truck driver says 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'



    #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR

    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

    A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

    The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
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  3. cartof Yung Blood
    I hate it when someone rides my ass while driving, so I have developed the best defense for these fuckers. I have decided to share it with you my brothers.
    1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.
    A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.
    3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.
    2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.
    3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.
    4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch is off your ass.
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  4. neither

    I just want to live in a world without an establishment or monetary system
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  5. Nil African Astronaut [the overexcited four-footed chanar]
    It's not right making a choice for someone that effects the whole of their existence without knowing if they would appreciate it or not, you're essentially rolling the dice but the wager is a life.
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  6. Originally posted by gumbo Pride should be saved for accomplishments. Like earning a degree. Raising a stable and happy child. Hell, even staying clean of heroin counts.

    Being gay is not an accomplishment. I am bisexual myself and it is whatever. I don't talk about it unless it comes up. I don't feel PROUD over it. It's just what it is. It's like being proud of being X race or coming from X country. YOU have nothing to be proud of just because you were born into a part of something.

    I get that coming out can be a struggle. But you should be proud of your ability to be open, or something. Not what you've been trying to open up about. I do not understand why there are still 'pride parades' where all the faggots of the world feel the need to turn the street rainbow because they were born a certain way? Gay marriage is legal. Nobody even cares. Those who did, and who had the ability to refuse to comply, got sent to jail.

    It drives me mad that these people think they're being prosecuted when elsewhere in the world people are being locked up and thrown off buildings for being gay. Go find a real cause to march for.

    I think the issue is that we HAVE come a long way. So you don’t really see being proud of opening admitting your sexual identity is an actionable thing worth praise. In many ways, yes we are close to fixing the misconceptions and mistreatment of the gay community. However, there are those within the gay community that are still so marginalized and terrorized that, yes, we do still need to have pride. We do need to stand up for justice and human decency to help our brothers and sisters and gender non conforming friends - everyone really - to make sure they get the same fair shot at finding some happiness in this world as the rest of us. We never would have gotten this far if it weren’t for some rebels way back when saying, I will no longer hide, I will wave my freak flag proudly so that other freaks will see it’s okay to be themselves and so those who aren’t okay with me can see that I’m okay with me and I’m going to call them on their shit if they try to say anything about it, much less do something about it.

    Also there’s a lot of work do be done around the perception of bisexuality. Trans, intersex, bisexuals, pandexuald, and asexuals can often be ostracized by even the gay community - cis lesbians or cis gay men etc. They get a lot of shit because people like to act like bisexuals are either not picky about what hole they put it in or they are just taking a layover on their way to gay town.
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  7. The best way to trip on a propane is to blow it up into a balloon like nitrous and suck the gas

    About two months ago I began to experiment with inhalents because of how cheap and accessible they can be, specifically propane. Over the past year I have experienced intensely euphoric and psychedelic trips that Propane gas allows me to have. Over the first week or so the effect of the gas was a fairly pleasurable and anesthetic experience lasting up to 10 minutes, but without psychedelic responses. Key characteristics of propane inhaled are: a cold sensation that travels down over my body, distortion of vision, a pulsing of audio stimuli, and often a rhythmic ringing sound. It is fairly intense and I really cannot compare it justly to other inhalants like nitrous oxide or ether. For me, propane is a very real drug with a very real affect.

    Around week two, the gas began to have a much stronger affect on me. I would pass out of reality after 45 seconds or so and become convinced that one or two other people were in the room with me. It wasn't that I so much saw them as just 'knew' they were present.

    By week three of breathing propane, I had become used to these two 'propane pals.' One of them is male and speaks much like an auctioneer; quickly almost like he were attempting to sell a product. The other is female and doesn't speak much. Her main role is to ask questions of the man occasionally, which he always, every time, answers quickly and extremely rationally. Occasionally my mind develops a question of its own accord, which the man perceives and answers rationally and non-judgmentally.

    After the pleasurable affects of the gas dissipated as I passed out of reality, these 'sessions' with the man and woman had become fairly typical and expected. It is generally fun and often enlightening.

    However, the other night something different happened. I had been using Propane for about two months when I had a very real and almost tangible hallucination.

    The situation was this: I had just finished watching Back to the Future in a dark room. I picked up the bottle of propane and after two hits passed out of reality. Except this time the propane people were not present. Instead, there was a demonic child with a black face, sharp eyes and claws, and out of the side of their neck was pouring this thick, green smoke that almost had a braided texture to it. It was issuing through a hole maybe a 1/4 in diameter and I was sure it was toxic. Without panicking, I told him to cough, and out of his mouth billowed this cloud of black smoke. I called the poison control center and tried to explain what I saw but when I came back to reality, realized there was nobody there

    It was than that I took another hit of propane. As usual I went limp and passed out of the real world. But when I got up to go pee what I saw scared the leving shit out of me.

    It was a childs body, a child's voice, but what I saw as his face was not his face. Sitting there next to me was this child, but his face was that of some other creature with no eyes, no expression, dead looking, creepy. I couldn't look at him. I could hardly talk. I looked again and saw the same thing. It spock to me trying to convince me that it was real but I just couldn't get a grip. After a minute or so I run to the light and turned it on. When I looked over at the couch in the light everything looked perfectly normal and nobody was there. This was a pretty unnerving experience.

    I am not sure it is was because of the movie I was watching prior to the gas that opened new channels of subconscious thought or if it was just the state of mind I happened to be in. I really don't know and this has not happened since.

    While on propane I have experienced things like watching the TV and hearing the sound in real time but seeing the picture freeze and progress frame by frame. Or while on propane and playing music, I have become aware that there is like a hologram superimposed over my head which makes me appear as someone else; longer hair, different color, etc. But I never become scared.

    The main feature of Propane Gas are pulsing of sight, touch and sound and Reduced taste and smell. General you know it is starting to work when you feel a cold chill run across your body and sometimes you feel nauses for a little while. Funny colored dots a bit like noise in a t.v. signal and dark patches begin in your sight. Like most drugs you loose motor skills. Often all you can consentrat on is sucking down the gas. A waring at this point one deep breath can make you pass out on the floor.

    Hallucinations now when I use the Gas it is mostly late at night with the t.v. in a lighted room. As todate I have only used gas I have tried nutmeg but it didn't work. I have experinced serveral audio hallucination of the t.v. e.g. ads about disney crap when the was no ad on and some voices but they were prety crappy and one realistic one I though my mum was up stairs screaming and stamping the floor because here mobile phone bills weren't as good as the ones on the t.v.

    Twice I have exhaled and the air in front of me riggle like i was breath hot air like above a hot plate. My strongest hallunication was when at the top of my stairs there was one of my dogs the big one( it was there) then the other smaller dog can running up around the corner(it wasn't there) and barked at me then it shrank to the size of a new born pup. It body started loose shape and looked like it was made by several spherical objects. Thoose balls look as if the were very shiny. Then it began to float in the air and spun around and stuff. Begining at the top of the stairs and had bad motor skills ended up leaning backwards slight and was loosing my balance. I was try to grab on to stuff but each time was swung the floating dog thing stopped me grabing onto it. I woke up concussed on the titled floor after fall down a flight of stairs went to the hospital and came back clear. Watch out this is dangerous but cheap.
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  8. mso8 Houston
    ive always used youtube-dl via cmd. you have linux so it should be pretty easy to install. unless i missed something and its busted nowadays or something
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  9. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    fetlife



    .
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  10. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by Open Your Mind Are you attracted to whores or is that just a coincidence?

    sluts are more fun



    .
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  11. infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by benny vader more than that, all womens are prostitutes.

    with men, or men who'd crossed the rubicon, you cant really be sure … maybe they love you, maybe they dont love you …

    but with women … they most certainly are prostitutes.

    Post last edited by benny vader at 2017-10-15T19:41:22.745963+00:00

    nothing wrong with being a prostitute. 4 billion years of evolution instilled it in both men and women at their deepest instinctual level. in women its the instinct to exchange their sexual services for various goods and services, real or imagined. in men its the instinct to offer various goods and services in exchange for their sexual services...real or imagined.
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  12. infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by mashlehash One time I punched somebody in the nose cuz they kept harassing this girl

    one time i stuck my dick in someones asshole because.
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  13. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    If a transexual proves themselves competent to serve, what's wrong with that?
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  14. Which won't be til another 11 days :facepal: I'll use window envelopes so it'll look like official buisiness mail from "S.F. Enterprises" saying they've been randomly picked to get free $2 or $3, maybe $5. Then put the email address in there and see if anyone says thanks.
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  15. FROM ALLL THE WAY IN THE BACK OF THE FOOD STAMP LINE, AND STRAIGHT OUTTA MOTHAFUCKING LOW CASSSSSSSSSH!
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  16. Lanny Bird of Courage


    mmm, yeah, that's the stuff
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  17. Take the 12 step "Are you a flailing head?" Test & find out!



    1. If you slip into a comatose sleep laying there for days with a disgusting chemical sweat all over your body even though you keep the fan on full blast and only gets up to cram mass quantities of food down
    This is called crashing.
    A meth addict can't stay awake when he runs out of speed. My buddy was driving on the freeway with his two small children in the car. He nodded off and was heading into the center divider when his nine year old son yelled and woke him up…
    This is called almost crashing.

    2. If you are prone to dumpster diving and you notice your house is looking more like the city dump than home….you might be a flailer

    3. Check your phone history
    (a) It's not a good sign if you see the same number listed 42 times, dialed one minute apart in the middle of the night.
    (b) Sound the alarm if you have 50 charges for information calls, with an additional 45-cent charge for each call to be automatically completed by Verizon.
    © Look for collect calls from prison and motels.

    4. Drug addicted offspring move into your rental property & they want to fix the house up for you. When they get arrested for possession of drugs, you will have many projects to finish. They will spend their paycheck on drugs. You will pay the rent and be the not-so-proud owner of a "flailer pad." Flailers are harder to get rid of than cockroaches.

    5. Keep your eyes pealed for any strange goings-on from your flailer tenants. One day I went to the house and found a humongous dental chair sitting in the middle of the living room. The scumbag said, "If you want to believe it's a dental chair, that's fine with me." That's when I noticed the steel stirrups. I was up in arms and ordered him to remove the heavy metal sex apparatus immediately. About a month later, he was arrested for possession of methamphetamine. The dental chair, that could only be removed with rental equipment, became my problem.

    6. If you have a propane torch under the bed, an exhaust fan hooked up in the window, or heavy blankets nailed over the curtains, don't think that this is normal behavior - it's not

    7. If the phone rings day and night and people come and go at all hours, don't kid yourself into thinking it's because your popular…you're just a dope dealer.

    8. If you show up at your "tweaker pad" in the middle of the night armed with a drug test and your friends are milling around the house looking very perky, and they fly into a fit of rage and tells you where to shove your drug test… Count that as a"positive". Save your receipt and consider yourself lucky that you can get the money refunded. Drug tests are not cheap. If your flailer refuses to take the test, assume he is on drugs.


    9. Tekh addicts are expert liars, master debaters and manipulators. Always trust your instincts and use your common sense to discern between fact and fiction.
    EXAMPLE: If you found your friend eating rat shit, You would be mortified and say, "Dan Wagner!, don't eat that rat shit! Whatsa matter with you?"
    He'd say, "Dude. You're trippin'. This isn't rat shit, It's chocolate."
    And you believe him because nobody in their right mind would eat rat shit.
    Always do the sniff test on suspicious behavior.
    If it smells like shit, it is not chocolate.

    10. Pay attention to odd behavior: fast talking, fake eating (pushing food around on the plate) and fake sleeping (they will put a towel in the crack of the door so you can't see their light is on all night), pocket-change jingling, foot shaking, and fidgeting. Some of them pick their face for hours until it bleeds and the meth recrystalizes on their skin so they eat it to get high. Some of them stay locked in the bathroom for long periods of time playing with their bloody rectum. Peek under the door to see if a towel is shoved in the crack to keep the toxic fumes from seeping out. Most of them spray deodorizer to hide the smell of the chemical smoke.

    They will lie, cheat, and steal their mother's purse for the next fix, and go to great lengths to make you think they are clean and sober. Like Houdini, they will trick you with illusion and sleight of hand. It can take a long time for a "normie" to realize someone is on dope. Get out of the ostrich hole of denial.

    Fight for their life and do anything you can to uncover the truth: Read his mail, eavesdrop on phone conversations, go through their phone and computer or put a drinking glass on your ear against the wall to hear him in the next room. Hide his wallet and car keys! Search for dope in clothes pockets and socks. Spy equipment might help, Give them NOWHERE to run or hide and threaten to call police frequently. When you know the truth, you can do something about it. Do an intervention. Look for a county funded rehab. They have some great facilities. If your friend refuses to get help, kick him to the curb and pray that he will answer the wake-up call when he hits rock bottom.

    11. If you are cleaning the garage and find a box filled with strange objects like: a jug, Pyrex dishes, bottles, funnels, coffee enhancements, rubber tubing, paper towels, rubber gloves, etc. This is a meth lab. Call the DEA and Haz-mat, and evacuate your home immediately.

    12. The first thing people lose on methamphetamine is their common sense. My best friend sold his car to 3 different people and didn't give it to any of them. He bought drugs with the money and hid the car. One of the buyers was a convicted felon named Wolf. I was home alone. The phone rang all night and day. He filled up the answer machine with ISIS terrorist threats and loud devil worship music. My friend said that Wolf was just joking and he thought it was a shame that I didn't have a sense of humor anymore.



    FLAILERS/HEADS DO THE DARNEDEST THINGS

    My other friend went to rehab with a guy who was arrested at four in the morning in his neighbors back yard. He was on a tall ladder with a glaring spot light, painting their house peach Kelly pop green. Lucky Charms was his favorite cereal. He thought the space Leprechauns were out to get him, and was desperate to lure them to his neighbors house.

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  18. Dissociator African Astronaut
    ZONGO!



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  19. RestStop Space Nigga
    Now, my grandmother was a wonderful person. She taught me how to play the game, Monopoly. She understood that the name of the game is to acquire. She would accumulate everything she could and eventually, she became the master of the board. And eventually, every time she would take my last dollar and I would quit in utter defeat.

    And then she would always say the same thing to me. She would look at me and say: “One day, you’ll learn to play the game.”

    One summer I played Monopoly with a neighbor almost every day, all day long. And that summer, I learned to play the game. I came to understand the only way to win is to make a total commitment to acquisition. I came to understand that money and possessions… that’s the way that you keep score. And by the end of that summer I was more ruthless than my grandmother. I was ready to bend the rules if I had to, to win that game… and I sat down with her to play that fall. I took everything she had. I destroyed her financially and psychologically, I watched her give her last dollar and quit in utter defeat.

    And then she had one more thing to teach me. Then she said: “Now it all goes back in the box. All those houses and hotels. All the railroads and utility companies… All that property and all that wonderful money… Now it all goes back in the box. None of it was really yours. Houses and cars… titles and clothes… bulging portfolios… even your body.”

    Because the fact is that everything I clutch and consume and hoard is going to go back in the box, and I’m going to lose it all. You have to ask yourself, when you finally get the ultimate promotion, when you make the ultimate purchase, when you buy the ultimate home, when you have stored up financial security and climbed the ladder of success to the highest rung you can possibly climb it… and the thrill wears off – and it will wear off – then what? How far do you have to walk down that road before you see where it leads? Surely you understand it will never be enough.

    So you have to ask yourself the question: What matters?
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  20. Lanny Bird of Courage
    my pic for the rdfrn calendar

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