Take the 12 step "Are you a flailing head?" Test & find out!
1. If you slip into a comatose sleep laying there for days with a disgusting chemical sweat all over your body even though you keep the fan on full blast and only gets up to cram mass quantities of food down This is called crashing. A meth addict can't stay awake when he runs out of speed. My buddy was driving on the freeway with his two small children in the car. He nodded off and was heading into the center divider when his nine year old son yelled and woke him up… This is called almost crashing.
2. If you are prone to dumpster diving and you notice your house is looking more like the city dump than home….you might be a flailer
4. Drug addicted offspring move into your rental property & they want to fix the house up for you. When they get arrested for possession of drugs, you will have many projects to finish. They will spend their paycheck on drugs. You will pay the rent and be the not-so-proud owner of a "flailer pad." Flailers are harder to get rid of than cockroaches.
5. Keep your eyes pealed for any strange goings-on from your flailer tenants. One day I went to the house and found a humongous dental chair sitting in the middle of the living room. The scumbag said, "If you want to believe it's a dental chair, that's fine with me." That's when I noticed the steel stirrups. I was up in arms and ordered him to remove the heavy metal sex apparatus immediately. About a month later, he was arrested for possession of methamphetamine. The dental chair, that could only be removed with rental equipment, became my problem.
6. If you have a propane torch under the bed, an exhaust fan hooked up in the window, or heavy blankets nailed over the curtains, don't think that this is normal behavior - it's not
7. If the phone rings day and night and people come and go at all hours, don't kid yourself into thinking it's because your popular…you're just a dope dealer.
8. If you show up at your "tweaker pad" in the middle of the night armed with a drug test and your friends are milling around the house looking very perky, and they fly into a fit of rage and tells you where to shove your drug test… Count that as a"positive". Save your receipt and consider yourself lucky that you can get the money refunded. Drug tests are not cheap. If your flailer refuses to take the test, assume he is on drugs.
9. Tekh addicts are expert liars, master debaters and manipulators. Always trust your instincts and use your common sense to discern between fact and fiction. EXAMPLE: If you found your friend eating rat shit, You would be mortified and say, "Dan Wagner!, don't eat that rat shit! Whatsa matter with you?" He'd say, "Dude. You're trippin'. This isn't rat shit, It's chocolate." And you believe him because nobody in their right mind would eat rat shit. Always do the sniff test on suspicious behavior. If it smells like shit, it is not chocolate.
10. Pay attention to odd behavior: fast talking, fake eating (pushing food around on the plate) and fake sleeping (they will put a towel in the crack of the door so you can't see their light is on all night), pocket-change jingling, foot shaking, and fidgeting. Some of them pick their face for hours until it bleeds and the meth recrystalizes on their skin so they eat it to get high. Some of them stay locked in the bathroom for long periods of time playing with their bloody rectum. Peek under the door to see if a towel is shoved in the crack to keep the toxic fumes from seeping out. Most of them spray deodorizer to hide the smell of the chemical smoke.
They will lie, cheat, and steal their mother's purse for the next fix, and go to great lengths to make you think they are clean and sober. Like Houdini, they will trick you with illusion and sleight of hand. It can take a long time for a "normie" to realize someone is on dope. Get out of the ostrich hole of denial.
Fight for their life and do anything you can to uncover the truth: Read his mail, eavesdrop on phone conversations, go through their phone and computer or put a drinking glass on your ear against the wall to hear him in the next room. Hide his wallet and car keys! Search for dope in clothes pockets and socks. Spy equipment might help, Give them NOWHERE to run or hide and threaten to call police frequently. When you know the truth, you can do something about it. Do an intervention. Look for a county funded rehab. They have some great facilities. If your friend refuses to get help, kick him to the curb and pray that he will answer the wake-up call when he hits rock bottom.
11. If you are cleaning the garage and find a box filled with strange objects like: a jug, Pyrex dishes, bottles, funnels, coffee enhancements, rubber tubing, paper towels, rubber gloves, etc. This is a meth lab. Call the DEA and Haz-mat, and evacuate your home immediately.
12. The first thing people lose on methamphetamine is their common sense. My best friend sold his car to 3 different people and didn't give it to any of them. He bought drugs with the money and hid the car. One of the buyers was a convicted felon named Wolf. I was home alone. The phone rang all night and day. He filled up the answer machine with ISIS terrorist threats and loud devil worship music. My friend said that Wolf was just joking and he thought it was a shame that I didn't have a sense of humor anymore.
FLAILERS/HEADS DO THE DARNEDEST THINGS
My other friend went to rehab with a guy who was arrested at four in the morning in his neighbors back yard. He was on a tall ladder with a glaring spot light, painting their house peach Kelly pop green. Lucky Charms was his favorite cereal. He thought the space Leprechauns were out to get him, and was desperate to lure them to his neighbors house.
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