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Thanked Posts by Zanick
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2018-05-03 at 3:25 PM UTC in NARCassist v. NiggasIn.Space, first round of subpoenas: click to learn if you’re being suedOperating in my capacity as an officer of the court, I have determined that issuing the initial subpoenas via public announcement is the most appropriate and expeditious way to begin proceedings. Each of them has been filed through the NIS 5th circuit court, where we shall officially condemn libelous claims and defamation aimed at the plaintiff, and interruption of commerce, for which we will be seeking compensatory damages. The offending statements have been documented in spoilers beneath each defendant's name.
I expect all of you will have responded to this round of subpoenas within five business days, or I will request that the judge (a personal friend of mine) hold you in contempt and fine you $500 for each day of noncompliance. Your court date will be Saturday, May 12. Please arrive at 8 AM CST.
The following users are implicated in this summons:
LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery: You made more false accusations against my client than everybody else combined, and you fabricated statements to damage his business relationships. I’m not sure we can even accept a settlement, given the circumstances. Destroying you will serve as a message to libelous anarchists the world over.
mmQ: You falsely propagated the rumor that my client is guilty of a crime for which he has never been charged, and additionally, you tried to sweep it under the rug. This is significant, and you need a lawyer.
Note: You can’t file motions as a defendant, mmQ. I can’t charge you for it myself, but one hint of resistance and I’ll be calling in a favor with the DA’s office to hit you for obstruction. Are you prepared for a long and costly legal battle? Or would you prefer to settle, and put this to rest now? I promise that you won’t win if this goes to trial. I’d choose the less painful option if I were in your position.
ohfralala: You presumed my client’s guilt, and you published a statement circulating a series of vicious rumors on a message board, facilitating a conspiracy against my client and permanently damaging his reputation. I’m going to see to it that you pay dearly.
POLECAT: I don’t think there’s legal precedence for what you’ve done, but it is so wrong and utterly opposed to justice and human nature that I foresee new case law in the making after we’re done murdering you on the stand.
HTS: You fabricated two statements from my client and published them on a message board to assassinate his moral character.
Nil: You published a fictional account of my client’s life that ultimately assisted in the circulation of malicious lies about his business practices.
Lanny: In your case, this can be as simple as providing a witness testimony. You don’t have to come into court necessarily, as long as you cooperate and demonstrate remorse and provide me with the IP addresses of users named in this motion as well as a sufficient plan to penalize them as forum administrator with suitable penalties to be approved by my firm. Failure to comply will earn you contempt and a fine, and we furthermore, we will expect to see you in court at the scheduled time.
HampTheToker: Issued upon user request. Since you seem to enjoy litigation from any side, please consider our firm for representation in the future.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-05-14 at 6:35 AM UTC in Donald Trump is the best president America ever hadIt will be a good porn.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-11 at 4:36 AM UTC in I'm going to show you 3 pictures of myself and I'd like you to rate how ugly I am on a scale of UGLY - MAJOR UGLY from 1-10This is going from Date Hotel to Date Hotel Rwanda.
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2018-05-04 at 5:31 AM UTC in sexually harassing women at workAt least he's being honest about his intentions, now.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-04-30 at 5:06 AM UTC in HaiOh, and Bill Krozby is a confirmed sexual predator so make sure to mock him whenever he tries to interact with you or you'll mess up the forum mojo. By the way, so is Bill Cosby, if you haven't heard.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-04-30 at 5:03 AM UTC in HaiArrogant spic, don't you know how much I've missed you? Let me fill you in:
Captain Falcon left. Enter left. Both are definitely coming back, but they won't tell you that. Scron and HTS are dating and living together. Hydromorphone married 1337 and then he went to the hospital and she put T-PAIN in his catheter bag when the nurses weren't looking, I'm guessing something terrible happened there based on her recent thread. Chi came back. Kinkou came back but she just left, maybe forever. Fonaplats is in the hospital for huffing paint and duster. Those last two events may or may not be connected. DateHookup forums got shut down, their premier users have migrated to us and everyone is seeking equilibrium.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-05-11 at 4:33 AM UTC in I'm converting to Socialistic thoughtsA substantial portion of the American right tried to turn Obama into a poster child for malignant socialism via smear campaign. Few people here have actually met a socialist and even fewer are aware of what the term actually means, but they made enough noise over the last decade that a number of easily influenced voters became convinced.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-11 at 12:17 AM UTC in Am I the only one that finds it ironicThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-11 at 12:11 AM UTC in I'm going to show you 3 pictures of myself and I'd like you to rate how ugly I am on a scale of UGLY - MAJOR UGLY from 1-10After looking directly at mmQ's photograph without diverting my focus for a full three hours, I can say with confidence that I've glimpsed into his soul. Taking a brief walk through it I found parts to be utterly vacant and others hyperactive, and one chamber had been immolated, but I have no guess as to why. The floors were sullen, the walls were laughing, the ceiling looked like a Van Gough painted with amphetamines. I soon became disoriented and had to leave before I could witness his childhood. I'll make another attempt later, but I think my spiritual capital is spent.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-11 at 12:15 AM UTC in If you could only do one drug forever without any negative health effectsLSDThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-10 at 9:39 PM UTC in Matchmaker Thread!Name: Rev. Zanick, MD, JD
Age: 32
Gender and Preferred Pronouns (you can also put orientation here): M
Location: Chicagoland
Religion: Open to varied suggestions
Political Views: Libertarian-Socialism
Interests: Coffee, prosecuting niggas, uniting people in matrimony, other drugs, destroying my evil sister
What I'm looking for: Avoidance and miscommunicationThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-05-10 at 9:20 PM UTC in I'm going to show you 3 pictures of myself and I'd like you to rate how ugly I am on a scale of UGLY - MAJOR UGLY from 1-10It's not terrible because you're smiling and laughing, it's because your face is carrying more weight than in either of the others. If you were somewhere between 1 and 2 I think your appealing bone structure would be featured more prominently.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-10 at 9:02 PM UTC in I'm going to show you 3 pictures of myself and I'd like you to rate how ugly I am on a scale of UGLY - MAJOR UGLY from 1-10Honestly, dude, you would look handsome if you weighed somewhere between picture 1 and picture 2 and never wore hats like that again. Also, the body language of the people on either side of you in picture 3 is crucial because it indicates you're a pretty attractive person overall. That's a terrible face, though, I don't think you were prepared for a photograph there.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-10 at 8:54 PM UTC in What's the worst thing you've ever done?This crazy girl at my first job asked me out and I convinced her I was gay. She found out it was a lie later on and confronted me. I felt really bad about that.
Oh, and bringing schedule I controlled substances into my parents' house routinely throughout my adolescence. One of those things I should want to take back that I don't.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-05-09 at 8:12 AM UTC in Be together the with the love of your life, or have $1 Billion?The love of my life would probably be some horrible she-devil I deserve to be with. I'll take the money.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-09 at 7:34 PM UTC in were smoking out the date hoteliersCollegiate Bill Krozby, I would trade you for them eight days out of seven.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-09 at 7:45 PM UTC in Get your philosophical health checkedI did pretty well. I'm about half as inconsistent as most people apparently.
Now, here's where I'm conflicted:
I think it's difficult to be a pacifist and also subscribe to the just war theory, but I believe there is a possibility of reconciliation that I haven't taken the time to outline yet. As for my environmental stance, I'm just being lazy.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-05-09 at 7:43 PM UTC in Get your philosophical health checkedhttp://www.philosophyexperiments.com/health/Default.aspx
Philosophical Health Check
The PHC will only take about 5 minutes of your time. We're going to present you with 30 statements. All you've got to do is to indicate whether you agree or disagree with each statement. If you're not sure, then select the response that is closest to your opinion (and then take this into account at the analysis stage).
You should note that the PHC does not judge whether your responses are right or wrong. The important thing is simply to respond as honestly as possible. Each statement is carefully worded, so you need to pay at least a little bit of attention!
Post your results so we can compare the inconsistencies in our beliefs.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-05-09 at 6:31 PM UTC in If we all had to join up sexually connected like a train or centiped who would be where?On a nearby hill with a sniper rifle.
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2018-05-09 at 7:50 AM UTC in Write a short advertisement for this forumNiggas in space, you can always be worse than you are.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
