Imagine how sick you have to be to get on like her
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Originally posted by Nile
I got hospitalized 1 time, released after 2 weeks.
had one psychiatrist tell me im "too sane and i don't think things will go well for you" im serious.
in fact even you asking if im mentally ill just shows the extent of my problem. I'm not insane, i have a great memory and when i relate the experiences i have i get "u should see a doctor" from many people who ive come to understand will never understand.
It's like having veils removed, but with each lifted the further from the masses you get. other aspects of reality that while not as clearly visible are just as present are revealeed. It's interesting too, I get to interact in a direct way with the powers that shape this world, literally enlightened while being run down and hounded by demonic forces.
I think I get it. Sometimes I feel like I'm in the room of a thousand demons, that most people aren't real, that there's a line you're not meant to cross, things you're not allowed to think about otherwise you're crazy. I get it can be dangerous though, that if no one was real what would stop me from killing them? It's hard finding a balance. I think people don't want to hear the truth, that most people are crazy, jelousy makes people crazy and I'm thankful I've never felt that way.
To me though being insane means you lack self-preservation, so in telling people what you've experienced instead of keeping it to yourself means you're not acting in your best interest, that you are insane in a way.
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2022-04-07 at 2:03 AM UTC
in
Regret
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Or the person I was, friends I had, the fashion.
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2022-04-07 at 1:31 AM UTC
in
Regret
There was this guy in my class, ten years older than me, called Adam. He was a heroin addict. We talked for half an hour about astronomy, that was it. Then I found out where he worked, he wasn’t in but I left a Christmas present for him with his manager, an 80s telescope still its box. I used to collect vintage and antiques back then. Back in college he thanked me. Later, before I left early one day I gave him a note with my number. I don’t recall much from this part, he was going on about his trust issues and spamming me, one text was so long it took me out of iMessage and into notes or something where it was five pages. Then I found out where he lived and showed up at his house. He said it was real stalkerish but didn’t mind, saying no one gave a shit about him. I may be getting the order of things messed up here. I was drunk all the time back then and had this type of madness which was contagious, so I convinced him to help me make a stun gun. It turned out he had a terrorist past. We had sex on the second date, that’s how I lost my virginity and he commented on how confident I was, maybe it was the gin. I told him about one of my ptsd triggers and he did it anyway, I think he thought I was asleep. Anyway I wasn’t looking for anything serious and I didn’t want to waste his time, so ended it, didn’t talk to him for the rest of the year. Then months later he texted me, and I realised I’d affected him, I felt shit. He said he’d gone back on heroin because of me and had to repeat the year. What I regret is that I ended it too early, I think that was a mistake, because I did end up being alone for a year and didn’t really give him a chance. He has a girlfriend now so I’m happy for him but I still feel like shit and worry I’ll run into him someday. I can’t listen to Flobots or Tool without thinking about him.
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I cr who “either these curtains go or I do”.
Not sure if I want to comfort people or make them laugh. I’ll be back or keep ‘er lit.
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I’ve definitely relapsed, on my second bottle of vodka this weekend and feel anxious when I run out. I haven’t been an alcoholic in three years. Idek what’s wrong or what to do. I did a lot of cleaning today, went for a walk, listened to hypnosis. I shouldn’t be awake right now though, I should at least be studying but instead I’m watching shows and drinking so something’s wrong. I think I have to isolate myself or something.
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I’ve touched myself in a men’s toilet cubicle. No one noticed me when I snuck out.
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Idk I think it’s messing me up talking with Mik again because some part of me wants things to be normal and healthy like they were but I’m also disgusted and he seems like a different person.
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2022-04-02 at 8:48 PM UTC
in
Tried painting
It's meant to be Auschwitz on New Year's Eve, when the children were forced to go on a march in the snow and take ice baths in the water to kill them off, and dead bodies weren't allowed in the barracks so they had to lay the corpses outside, and you could hear the rats eating them. That's what I think about on NYE. The snowmen are the children.
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Originally posted by vindicktive vinny
posts are useless without nudes.
So all yours?
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The lady who does my eyebrows is like that guardian angel in jacobs ladder. She just went on lecturing me about all the creeps and weirdos in the world and to watch out and tbh I never thought of drink spiking.
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The gypsies also said the best occupation for a woman was to be a whore. I’m on the fence about it.
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I’ve stolen from Versace tbh. Other places.
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Originally posted by DontTellEm
Actually pay for ur shit like a normal person. We are in a recession, so man up & pay & not raise prices for other people. Aren’t u in ur thirties ?
Either you scam today or today scams you
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Originally posted by Sudo
I eat ginger whenever possible because I've gotta bad gut. I find spicey food makes me feel a little less depressed. When I'm down tho my self care will get thrown to the wayside and I've found at least going through the motions helps reset my thought patterns and changes my internal monologue.
Who would have thought changing your clothes and showering would make you feel like less of a dirty sack of shit?
That makes me want kimchi now ;_;
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My depression advice is do something productive everyday even if it’s small, take care of your physical health and appearance, ginger root tabs, book a trip away, fiction books.
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