Just went to jail

2017-02-23 at 9:43 PM UTC

#21

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by Totse 2001 "At least they didn't give me a DUI I guess" this lead us to believe you were drunk but didn't get a DUI.. so you're lucky you didn't get a DUI

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. No shit? That's literally what I said. It was douglas who interpreted that as me getting a dui and losing my bike riding privileges.

2017-02-23 at 9:46 PM UTC

#22

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by infinityshock did you make lots of new friends who gave you free prostate exams?

Yes, bill. They just threw me into gen pop and all 100 inmates had their way with my butthole, as is standard in the county jail here at 3 in the morning. How did you know??

The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

kroz

2017-02-23 at 10:13 PM UTC

#23

SBTlauien African Astronaut

Originally posted by reject Can't you be arrested just for being drunk in public in America?

At least you have to be being disorderly here. Ie pissing in takeaways or fighting road signs

Yes. Public Intoxication. Drugs count.

2017-02-23 at 10:24 PM UTC

#24

infinityshock Black Hole

Originally posted by mmQ Yes, bill. They just threw me into gen pop and all 100 inmates had their way with my butthole, as is standard in the county jail here at 3 in the morning. How did you know??

i never get cellmates that are as rectally receptive as you are.

kudos.

2017-02-23 at 10:26 PM UTC

#25

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by infinityshock i never get cellmates that are as rectally receptive as you are.

kudos.

I wouldn't say I'm rectally...receptive. My broken spokes were littered throughout the pod.

2017-02-23 at 10:29 PM UTC

#26

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

kroz,
Malice

2017-02-23 at 10:40 PM UTC

#27

infinityshock Black Hole

Originally posted by mmQ I wouldn't say I'm rectally…receptive. My broken spokes were littered throughout the pod.

thats hot...

better than an 'american history x' rendition.

2017-02-23 at 10:48 PM UTC

#28

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by Actor

Thanks buddy. XD

2017-02-23 at 11:18 PM UTC

#29

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

This reminds me of the time my dad and I polished off a bottle of rye (he had been drinking brews all day) he was drunk driving with me blacked out in the passenger seat. We get pulled over, the give him a sobriety test HE PASSES but gets picked up on warrants.

2017-02-23 at 11:21 PM UTC

#30

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

What did you do in jail? Just sleep?. Every time I go to jail I always happen to be on a bunch of drugs so sleeping and laying there isn't so bad.

Also stretching.

2017-02-23 at 11:29 PM UTC

#31

mmQ Lisa Turtle

I've passed sobriety tests but still taken to jail because I failed the ensuing breathalyzer. They just patronize you with the field test, breathalyze you anyway even if you pass, like why not just fucking breathalyze to begin with FAGGOTS?~!

Anyway I was just in a holding cell in booking, the same goddamn cell I've been in countless times before. I was still pretty drunk and it was like 3am so I made a few calls, nobody answered, and I passed out for a few hours. Woke up to breakfast (they have always had badass breakfast cakes at my jail) and then made some more calls. Bullshited with the other guy in there for the last hour while I waited for them to process to my bond, which involved my friend showing up and sitting in the lobby for an hour while the CO's jacked each other off and ate peanuts while I'm patiently waiting to be released. Cringe fest deluxe.

2017-02-23 at 11:32 PM UTC

#32

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

Okay now what did you learn?

2017-02-23 at 11:34 PM UTC

#33

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump Okay now what did you learn?

Fuck the police.

2017-02-23 at 11:45 PM UTC

#34

kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

Originally posted by mmQ Yes, bill. They just threw me into gen pop and all 100 inmates had their way with my butthole, as is standard in the county jail here at 3 in the morning. How did you know??

fucking this, why does everyone make assholio jokes about county jail, but still this thread is hilarious.

You better shape up young man. what happened to your bicycle though?

2017-02-23 at 11:48 PM UTC

#35

kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

breathalyzer test fucking suck. tonight I have a smexy date and I want to drink but i may be a breathalyzer test, so im just going to drink non alcoholic brew. (the chicks gonna be like what gay bob)

2017-02-23 at 11:50 PM UTC

#36

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by Bill Krozby fucking this, why does everyone make assholio jokes about county jail, but still this thread is hilarious.

You better shape up young man. what happened to your bicycle though?

They may have cuck'd me on the bike. I don't know. They said they'd 'take care of it.' I think he put it in the trunk of his cruiser. I forgot to ask when I left the jail. It was a dumpster bike I've had for like a year, no loss, but I will call them and find out.

2017-02-23 at 11:51 PM UTC

#37

kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

Originally posted by mmQ They may have cuck'd me on the bike. I don't know. They said they'd 'take care of it.' I think he put it in the trunk of his cruiser. I forgot to ask when I left the jail. It was a dumpster bike I've had for like a year, no loss, but I will call them and find out.

sue those jedi pigs!

2017-02-23 at 11:52 PM UTC

#38

kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

Originally posted by mmQ Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. No shit? That's literally what I said. It was douglas who interpreted that as me getting a dui and losing my bike riding privileges.

i was joking garret about you losing ur bike privileges.

2017-02-23 at 11:53 PM UTC

#39

mmQ Lisa Turtle

Originally posted by Bill Krozby sue those jedi pigs!

SO MUCH PAIN AND SUFFERING! AT LEAST 15 MILLION DOLLARS WORTH! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!

2017-02-23 at 11:59 PM UTC

#40

The Self Taught Man Black Hole

Fuck the police

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