2022-08-29 at 4:37 PM UTC
Speedy Parker
Black Hole
[my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
Speaking of jails, around 86 I spent a day as guest of the Dallas County Correction Department waiting for bond. At lunch time they served the most disgusting sloppy Joe I've ever taken a bite of. I left it for my cell mate as I knew I would be out within hours.
Fast forward to Lake County, Ohio around 2007 I spent 3 days in the county for a traffic related incident. On day two at lunch they served sloppy Joe's. Imswear itnwasnthe exect same shifty institutional contract slop that I was served over 20 years before that in Texas.
As for the best jail food ever you have to go back to around 83 in dare County NC. I spent a night in there hotel that year. The cells looked just like the ones in Mayberry on the Andy Griffith Show. Only there were 4 instead of 2. Around 7 am a jailer banged in my bars to wake me asking what I wanted for breakfast. I replied with something along the lines of "Ya really funny". He asked again what I 2anted as he handed me a sheet of paper. It was a double column list of breakfast items including bacon, sausage, ham, eggs, different types of toasts, cereals, milk, juice, tea, coffee and many others. Here they just fed the prisoners from a great little diner across the street that I ate at all the time. The best part was you were allowed to order as much as you wanted.
2022-08-29 at 4:53 PM UTC
You didn't include the part that it was vegetarian bacon, raw sausage, spoiled ham, bloody yolked eggs, moldy rye toast or extra moldy rye toast (toaster was broken so it was actually just bread), cereal options- raisin bran, corn pops, plain cheerios extra soggy, powdered milk (95% water), powdered juice (95% water), powdered tea (99% water), coffee made strictly from reused coffee grinds from the staff coffee machines.
2022-08-29 at 4:56 PM UTC
I got tricked into buying VEGAN meatballs a week ago. Went to Aldi and the usual meatballs I get were out of stock (2lb for $4.89)...anyway they had these others but half the size (1lb) for the same price.
Fuck I thought...inflation is bullshit.
Anyway I got home and was looking at them and then noticed a really TINY "VEGAN" text next to the 10x bigger "meatballs" font. No fucking wonder they were like $5 for 1lb...those vegan bastards charge more for their shit food than the real food costs.
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2022-08-29 at 5:32 PM UTC
I love jail and prison food passionately. Never been anywhere I didn't like. Small white counties are the best but even HOC milwaukee wassuper fire. The libraries and loudness of the tv only thing that bothers me
2022-08-30 at 1:17 PM UTC
"I'm a ho for Idaho - instant mashed potatoes" - copyright Jiggaboo Johnson 2022.
2022-08-30 at 1:58 PM UTC
Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson
Yeah..these are them…guess the "meatless part" got by me that day"
I was just focused on the balls man.
Damn that's quite the misremembering. What else have you been telling us that isn't even really that close to the truth? lol
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2022-08-30 at 1:59 PM UTC
I mean it even does say VEGAN as well, almost as big as the words MEATLESS MEATBALLS. 10x smaller he said. For Shame!
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