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I need to pass a drug test.

  1. #61
    Kuntzschutz African Astronaut
    Originally posted by rabbitweed If you need a drink every single day… you're an alcoholic. Functioning alcoholics are a thing.



    Smart guy, tech can't guarantee a damn thing which is why she retreated after I pwnt her so hard when she was arguing with me about wound healing.

    I presented facts, she just grunted and waited for support from confused degenerates and homosexuals, and when she realized they couldn't help, she stopped replying.
  2. #62
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    The only way to pass the test is either not be on drugs or get a clean sample from someone who isn't.
  3. #63
    Technologist victim of incest
    Originally posted by Kuntzschutz Smart guy, tech can't guarantee a damn thing which is why she retreated after I pwnt her so hard when she was arguing with me about wound healing.

    I presented facts, she just grunted and waited for support from confused degenerates and homosexuals, and when she realized they couldn't help, she stopped replying.

    In your dreams child. Oh that’s right, you think your dreams are reality.
  4. #64
    Originally posted by infinityshock lovingly allowed lard-ass lanny the luxury of lapping the loins-leviathan while the little lad larps as a laotian ladyboy lapdancer....................... i know someone who used someone else as a guinea pig on how to pass a drug test. it worked

    this is some straight up josef mengele-tier shit.

    as soon as the knowledge of the test comes about, continuously chug clean water until almost sick

    obtain about 250ml (at least) of clean urine

    as late as possible (this has been done in the seat of a car) before the test find the largest available syringe along with as clean as possible, small diameter silicone tubing

    lubricate the tubing with KY jelly and insert all the way through urethra until it passes the sphincter and enters the bladder.

    allow any urine to flow through the tubing. this can be caught in a plastic bottle or fed out the car door.

    once urine flow ends, use syringe to inject as much clean urine as physically able. withdraw tubing. (ideally this should be practiced a couple of times before the actual test is done so the druggie can train themselves how to control their pisser with the tube in.)

    go take test. the cold urine will heat up to the test-passable-temperature within about five minutes.

    yea, theres that whole UTI thing, but thats where the test-ee has to ask themselves if theyd prefer the risk of a UTI or popping positive on a whiz quiz.

    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny
  5. #65
    Originally posted by infinityshock lovingly allowed lard-ass lanny the luxury of lapping the loins-leviathan while the little lad larps as a laotian ladyboy lapdancer........................ i will confirm with first hand experience and extensive testing on multiple test subjects that route will not work under any circumstance.

    id like to hear some testimonies.
  6. #66
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING 2020 IV: Intravenous Soyposting Marijuana: Psychoactive drug and medicine from the Cannabis plant
    MDMA: “Ecstacy”, “E”, “X”, Pure form: “Molly”
    PCP: “Angel Dust” Dissociative drug
    HGH: Human Growth Hormone
    Lipitor: Drug used for lowering blood cholesterol
    Adderall: Used for ADHD
    DayQuil: Relieves symptoms of the common cold and flu
    NyQuil: Relieves symptoms of the common cold
    Nitrous Oxide: “Laughing Gas”
    Benzedrine: “Bennies” Can cause a euphoric stimulant effect
    Valtrex: Used to manage herpes
    Flomax: Treatment for difficult urination
    Cialis: Treats erectile dysfunction
    Birth Control: Pill taken to prevent pregnancy

    Just add some hydroxycloroquine and you have a good stack to be on.

    kek, I love how she says 'why would anyone take BOTH?'
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  7. #67
    Kuntzschutz African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Technologist In your dreams child. Oh that’s right, you think your dreams are reality.

    Time stamps where you backed out after you and your circus show tranny brigade backed out.
  8. #68
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Technologist In your dreams child. Oh that’s right, you think your dreams are reality.

    The fact that you had to attempt to insult him by calling him child is proof that he is right.
  9. #69
    STER0S Space Nigga [the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
    r u still smoking drugs f0na
  10. #70
    AngryIVer African Astronaut [my jade controlled morrigan]
    Originally posted by Kuntzschutz They cannot legally fuck with you for having been adequately hydrated elsewhere they'd get sued

    There's adequately hydrated, then there's pissing straight water. When the urine doesn't contain nutrients that "adequately hydrated" urine should contain, it's pretty obviously diluted. No. They wouldn't get sued.
  11. #71
    AngryIVer African Astronaut [my jade controlled morrigan]
    Originally posted by Fonaplats Ive decided not to take a drug test and just keep my current job.

    Did anyone actually come up with anything?

    I dont really wanna sift through pages of rambling nonsense.

    Two pages? It's not even 60 posts, Faggotplats.
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