2019-10-25 at 6:29 PM UTC
I feel good today too. Hung out with my mom and sister some more last night, washed my comforter and linens which were overdue. Got some new CBD oil which was long overdue. Havent smoked any weed in like 2 weeks which I've definitely noticed i dont feel quite as overall just groggy and lazy all day. Have a nice little night planned for after work today.
Decided on my costume for the dance party on Halloween next week. It's really boring I'm gonna go with my sister and I'm gonna be shaggy and she's gonna be scooby doo. If Shannon decides to come she will have to choose between Daphne or Velma.
Cleaned my apartment but not my bathroom or bedroom (I will tackle those soon). And yeah. Circular circular all good things. :)
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2019-10-25 at 8:23 PM UTC
State's trying to take my bammercare away, gotta appeal now
My doctor sent me ampules of dihydroergotamine and wants me to ask how to shoot it up from an RN but I think I'm experienced enough. I'm mostly doing it as a "fuck you" to the state for kicking me off because it's like $1500 for 9 doses
I have a feeling everything's about to go turbo real soon
2019-10-25 at 10:18 PM UTC
He asked me if I wanted it at our last visit and I said no because triptans don't work for me and make me feel like shit and ergotamine meds are very similar to triptans, and serotonergic drugs in general make me feel bad so I declined, but I reconsidered. I thought it was gonna be pills but he sent ampules.
Somewhere along the way I got diagnosed with Neuritis without knowing it, which explains a bit. My vision has been getting worse over a short period of time and I just got off the phone with a nurse at the clinic who says I need to be seen about my vision within 24hrs so I'll be doing that tomorrow I guess. It's getting hard to read is why I called.
Speaking of brain damage, it seems to be getting worse and worse mostly due to me being a typical non-compliant schizoaffective and playing basketball with my head, yet at the same time I'm taking it less seriously because I'm sick of myself rambling about it and so are you I'm sure, and I'm wondering how much disability it takes before they give you a mercy full ride scholarship.
2019-10-26 at 5:24 AM UTC
I've had so much fun sober/ (lol) mildly drunk drinking a few of thee past several days that I am almost scared to see what happens when I go out partying next week on the "fun fun" drug I'm waiting on.
I could sound delusional but the most fun I've ever had dancing and going to edm shows when I was actually completely sober. I've never once , no even once, rolled at a concert or even been on any phsydechedlic or anything. Am I bragging? No. Lol. I dont even know what I mean.
What I know is that I'm only 35 and I dont feel old and I just like living. I like fuckin living. I like adventures. I never have wanted to be a basic routine girl and I hope I never am. Maybe (hopefully) I will just die on the streets one of these days doing what I love and I hope I do.
I hate nothing more than in the world than saying "hey no I have to stop because I have to work tomorrow." I hate that shit. I guess yes you have to be responsible and normally when I do have to work I just dont go out the night before and that's fine too.
The balance is cool. It's important right? You cant just always party. You have to be smart. But at the end of the day I'd just rather do what I love and stop giving a fuck about what ANYONE thinks about it. Just let me be me. I am a free spirit. I just wanna have a good time.
Lol. :)
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2019-10-26 at 5:31 AM UTC
aldra
JIDF Controlled Opposition
sounds like you're doing a lot better than you were a year or so ago, good for you
2019-10-26 at 5:48 AM UTC
Originally posted by aldra
sounds like you're doing a lot better than you were a year or so ago, good for you
Thank you, mr. Disney. Its actually just this last few weeks I feel good. This last year kinda suxked overall but things are looking up. One thing that helps is I'm off all prescribed meds so I can finally just know what my body/mind is really feeling.
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2019-10-26 at 5:50 AM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ
I've had so much fun sober/ (lol) mildly drunk drinking a few of thee past several days that I am almost scared to see what happens when I go out partying next week on the "fun fun" drug I'm waiting on.
I could sound delusional but the most fun I've ever had dancing and going to edm shows when I was actually completely sober. I've never once , no even once, rolled at a concert or even been on any phsydechedlic or anything. Am I bragging? No. Lol. I dont even know what I mean.
What I know is that I'm only 35 and I dont feel old and I just like living. I like fuckin living. I like adventures. I never have wanted to be a basic routine girl and I hope I never am. Maybe (hopefully) I will just die on the streets one of these days doing what I love and I hope I do.
I hate nothing more than in the world than saying "hey no I have to stop because I have to work tomorrow." I hate that shit. I guess yes you have to be responsible and normally when I do have to work I just dont go out the night before and that's fine too.
The balance is cool. It's important right? You cant just always party. You have to be smart. But at the end of the day I'd just rather do what I love and stop giving a fuck about what ANYONE thinks about it. Just let me be me. I am a free spirit. I just wanna have a good time.
Lol. :)
Smh.
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2019-10-26 at 5:51 AM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ
I've had so much fun sober/ (lol) mildly drunk drinking a few of thee past several days that I am almost scared to see what happens when I go out partying next week on the "fun fun" drug I'm waiting on.
I could sound delusional but the most fun I've ever had dancing and going to edm shows when I was actually completely sober. I've never once , no even once, rolled at a concert or even been on any phsydechedlic or anything. Am I bragging? No. Lol. I dont even know what I mean.
What I know is that I'm only 35 and I dont feel old and I just like living. I like fuckin living. I like adventures. I never have wanted to be a basic routine girl and I hope I never am. Maybe (hopefully) I will just die on the streets one of these days doing what I love and I hope I do.
I hate nothing more than in the world than saying "hey no I have to stop because I have to work tomorrow." I hate that shit. I guess yes you have to be responsible and normally when I do have to work I just dont go out the night before and that's fine too.
The balance is cool. It's important right? You cant just always party. You have to be smart. But at the end of the day I'd just rather do what I love and stop giving a fuck about what ANYONE thinks about it. Just let me be me. I am a free spirit. I just wanna have a good time.
Lol. :)
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2019-10-26 at 5:52 AM UTC
I also probably having a dying liver and a bunch of blood problems lol which I havent checked in many years and maybe I'm dying so that's why I'm suddenly trying to enjoy life more again, but who knows. I would not be surprised at all if I have cancer. It runs in my family. I've been having "night sweats" more frequently lately which I looked up as to why because they seem random but it says it might be signs of death and disease and cancer. Lol. Whatever. I guess I'll find out one way or another .
