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The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition

  1. This was my first pubescent crush. She also had a crush on me, and would text me but would get too nervous to text back after I replied to her, and would put her legs on me during movies in band and say "You're CUUUUUUUUUUTE!" when I walked by at lunch, and would come up and hug me during track meets.

    But one day at a track meet she was pulling the arms of this other girl who was also pulling her arms and said "*****, do you want to get in this!!?" And I was super shy and didn't know what to say besides "No" with a straight face, because I thought it would make me look like a creep if I didn't.

    Then she looked really disappointed and kind of stopped pulling on the other girl. She and her sister were the only Mexicans in our school really. She was also like 85-90lbs and thought she was fat, which I liked.









    Later she decided to move back to Texas with her sister (her parents didn't make her) instead of staying here with me because I didn't make a move and said the opposite of what I wanted to say. Then she got married and pooped like 2 or 3 babies to this army faggot; she's only a year younger than me.

    She's the perfect fit for me but I BLEW IT like I always do. I miss her.
  2. When the edibles kick in




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  3. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Of course 8k gonna question those 14 unread message buttons
  4. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    chat head.

    Craig head .
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. i did 1g T-PAIN now my head hurts
  6. .
  7. Lol, most I ever did was .65g FA and that gave me a seizure

    I was in alcohol withdrawal at the time though
  8. Originally posted by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊 i forgot how sexy crooked coathanger is

    trolling them to the point of releasing songs about it is the best thing ive ever done



    LOL wtf did i do
  9. im just effortlessly neurotoxic af to interact with
  10. Common De-mominator African Astronaut
    Originally posted by DietPiano This was my first pubescent crush. She also had a crush on me, and would text me but would get too nervous to text back after I replied to her, and would put her legs on me during movies in band and say "You're CUUUUUUUUUUTE!" when I walked by at lunch, and would come up and hug me during track meets.

    But one day at a track meet she was pulling the arms of this other girl who was also pulling her arms and said "*****, do you want to get in this!!?" And I was super shy and didn't know what to say besides "No" with a straight face, because I thought it would make me look like a creep if I didn't.

    Then she looked really disappointed and kind of stopped pulling on the other girl. She and her sister were the only Mexicans in our school really. She was also like 85-90lbs and thought she was fat, which I liked.









    Later she decided to move back to Texas with her sister (her parents didn't make her) instead of staying here with me because I didn't make a move and said the opposite of what I wanted to say. Then she got married and pooped like 2 or 3 babies to this army faggot; she's only a year younger than me.

    She's the perfect fit for me but I BLEW IT like I always do. I miss her.

    Damn she's really pretty. You fucked up my nigga.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊

    LOL wtf did i do

    lol wut
  12. Ghost Black Hole
    Jill the jat
  13. Here's the little 17 year old virgin girl that wanted me to fuck her and be her boyfriend but I was on heroin and and xanax and knew I couldn't have sex so didn't make a move. You can't see from the picture, but she got the best type of booty there is. I was basically bald then and falling alseep standing up and she didn't mind, pls die OP?

  14. Ghost Black Hole
    Did you finger blast her or eat her ass at least?
  15. Felt her up, made out with her.
  16. Ghost Black Hole
    Didn't even rub her pussy through the underwear??
  17. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    i don't get it, why couldn't you have sex sploo?


    .
  18. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Common De-mominator She clapped and I have a date so… Suck my dick? Nah actually I'll save up my nut for her.

    it was a warning

    she's going to literally give you the clap
  19. Originally posted by NARCassist i don't get it, why couldn't you have sex sploo?


    .

    1. I'm not sploo

    2. If you can have sex on IV heroin and 8mg xanax, my hat's off to you and I hope you get all the sex you want. For me? It was simply not possible. Maybe with Viagra, but I didn't desire it anyway.
  20. Ghost Black Hole
    When I lived in a small town all the girls were stuck up bitches and I based "mythighslookslikethenightsky6969" off these women and even copied their Facebook posts

    I was really horny and lonely though and it sucked so I had the idea to kill my sex drive with drugs

    I don't know about you folx but after taking bundy my penis can't get hard so I would take large doses every day and lots of benzos and I spent a year like that

    Then I did meth and watched lesbian fisting porn for 14 days straight without sleep.
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