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  1. CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    I mean I figured it would be. I probably need to be on antidepressants. But that's why I'm trying to build a framework to rely on. Ie- it's a lot easier to be happy when I'm in school, working towards a career, financially well off, mentally stimulated , in good health, etc...
  2. Jackrabbitpsych African Astronaut
    Originally posted by CASPER I mean I figured it would be. I probably need to be on antidepressants. But that's why I'm trying to build a framework to rely on. Ie- it's a lot easier to be happy when I'm in school, working towards a career, financially well off, mentally stimulated , in good health, etc…

    Antidepressants didnt do anything for me but make me hallucinate in a bad way, if that makes sense. Mood stabalizers and LITHIUM all be sodium derivatives could actually HELP ! Amazing really but it did.
  3. I wonder if tianeptin might've caused that rhabdomyolysis

    My doses were MUCH lower than the crazy shit I read online and I haven't used it in months but I was drinking with it
  4. The thing is, I've never actually felt depressed, save for the end stretch of my xanax taper. I've never been diagnosed by any psych expect a guy my mother took me too when I was ~10. He thought I was depressed because my aunt's dog died.


    My newest one who is absolutely fantastic (probobly a top 10% psychologist considering he's working at one of the most prestigious drug treatment centers in the country) said he isn't dxing me with depression because neither he nor I think I am depressed.

    8mg Xanax/day for 4 years will literally mentally scar anyone, I don't care who it is. I literally feel about 5 seconds away from going to the hospital for my pain sometimes, but I rationally know that it's not a good idea and that the pain will cyclically subside in at least a couple hours.

    The hardest thing for me is that it's tricky for me to smile or not have a slightly pained expression on my face when it flares up. That's the biggest social hinderance I'm facing. I WANT to smile, but sometimes it's impossible.
  5. Originally posted by Jackrabbitpsych You sound just like me…the depression will catch you when least expected. Always be aware of yourself or it will find a way to consume you again. Its only temporary temporarily if you let your guard down

    Are you a DH?
  6. Jackrabbitpsych African Astronaut
    Originally posted by JĎ…icebox I wonder if tianeptin might've caused that rhabdomyolysis

    My doses were MUCH lower than the crazy shit I read online and I haven't used it in months but I was drinking with it

    Mine were too...then my dr. Started doubling my dosages...once i started thinking that snakes were in trees and were conspiring against me....(i knew they werent but it became an inherite fear i could nothing about) i cut that shit way down. It was keeping me sane, i thought the more the better...so NO THAT IS A NO for sure...but yeah im like a rhino. My brother said they should write medical journals about me...kind a sucks...takes a whole lot of a whole lot to do shit to me
  7. Jackrabbitpsych African Astronaut
    Originally posted by DietPiano The thing is, I've never actually felt depressed, save for the end stretch of my xanax taper. I've never been diagnosed by any psych expect a guy my mother took me too when I was ~10. He thought I was depressed because my aunt's dog died.


    My newest one who is absolutely fantastic (probobly a top 10% psychologist considering he's working at one of the most prestigious drug treatment centers in the country) said he isn't dxing me with depression because neither he nor I think I am depressed.

    8mg Xanax/day for 4 years will literally mentally scar anyone, I don't care who it is. I literally feel about 5 seconds away from going to the hospital for my pain sometimes, but I rationally know that it's not a good idea and that the pain will cyclically subside in at least a couple hours.

    The hardest thing for me is that it's tricky for me to smile or not have a slightly pained expression on my face when it flares up. That's the biggest social hinderance I'm facing. I WANT to smile, but sometimes it's impossible.

    Well true about the xanax. I never thought i was depressed. my mother went to bed for months on end when depressed. Mine manifested quite differently. So it was quite unexpected when i was told that is what i was dealing with. Not sure ever i was, all i know is lithium made my bad behaviors, that i never had control over before, be tamed. Idk
  8. CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    Originally posted by DietPiano The thing is, I've never actually felt depressed, save for the end stretch of my xanax taper. I've never been diagnosed by any psych expect a guy my mother took me too when I was ~10. He thought I was depressed because my aunt's dog died.


    My newest one who is absolutely fantastic (probobly a top 10% psychologist considering he's working at one of the most prestigious drug treatment centers in the country) said he isn't dxing me with depression because neither he nor I think I am depressed.

    8mg Xanax/day for 4 years will literally mentally scar anyone, I don't care who it is. I literally feel about 5 seconds away from going to the hospital for my pain sometimes, but I rationally know that it's not a good idea and that the pain will cyclically subside in at least a couple hours.

    The hardest thing for me is that it's tricky for me to smile or not have a slightly pained expression on my face when it flares up. That's the biggest social hinderance I'm facing. I WANT to smile, but sometimes it's impossible.

    I mean gun to your head...are you happy? If you lived out the rest of your life exactly like you are now, would that be okay? Do you have things you're proud of?

    You could be right, but I actually didn't realize for a looong time
  9. Jackrabbitpsych African Astronaut
    Originally posted by CASPER I mean gun to your head…are you happy? If you lived out the rest of your life exactly like you are now, would that be okay? Do you have things you're proud of?

    You could be right, but I actually didn't realize for a looong time

    Doesnt sound like shes there yet, love. Jmo

    If dietpiano is female sorry dietpiano im new sort of
  10. RestStop Space Nigga
    Bitches and shit. How a nigga live.
  11. CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    Well idk. I think there are probably plenty of people satisfied in what I would call less than ideal circumstances. But if you're satisfied, then there's no reason you'd be depfressed. But sometimes the hardest thing is to crack into your own head, and figure out what you Really feel, minus all the lies you concoct subconsciously. It's like repeating a lie so often that you start to believe it. It happens.
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  12. CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    Of course I'd be neglecting my professional duties of I were to try to give any kind of official medical diagnosis over the internet. That said, it's an avenue to explore.
  13. Originally posted by CASPER I mean gun to your head…are you happy? If you lived out the rest of your life exactly like you are now, would that be okay? Do you have things you're proud of?

    You could be right, but I actually didn't realize for a looong time

    The problem is, I'm so out of touch from my emotions that I honestly don't know. My psych asked me how I feel, and I said I don't know, and he said "That's not normal". But it's the truth.

    I'm in a huge transitionary stage in life right now so the "if you would live your life out like it is right now" is very hard to answer.

    I'm making huge changes living in a new place in a new city meeting new people, having a new job, starting school next week.

    School is the biggest factor, as studying psychology formally is what I want to do more than anything in life, along with conncecting with other people of similar interests at college.

    I'm planning to join student organizations and potentially join a fraternity next year. New connections is honestly more important than the academics, but I think making them at a university is the best way to make them at this stage in my life.
  14. Jackrabbitpsych African Astronaut
    Originally posted by CASPER Well idk. I think there are probably plenty of people satisfied in what I would call less than ideal circumstances. But if you're satisfied, then there's no reason you'd be depfressed. But sometimes the hardest thing is to crack into your own head, and figure out what you Really feel, minus all the lies you concoct subconsciously. It's like repeating a lie so often that you start to believe it. It happens.

    If its a chemical imbalance, as it is said to be, as we age...no matter which age, our bodies our minds...they change. With these changes can come hidden parts of ourselves never shown before. Mine was after kids but apparently was my real problem all along. Since im very different now, i have no choice but to agree. I dont think people are as satisfied as you seem to believe. Not from what ive heard or seen though i wish you were correct as i believe people should be. Nope put a period forgot. My bad
  15. WE SMOOTH African Astronaut
    Originally posted by CASPER I mean gun to your head…are you happy? If you lived out the rest of your life exactly like you are now, would that be okay? Do you have things you're proud of?

    You could be right, but I actually didn't realize for a looong time

    I just asked myself this question even though you didn't ask me.. I've had about 5 drinks tonight over the last 5 hours and just smoked weed. i didn't pop a molly or anything.

    I WOULD LOVE TO LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE P MUCH HOW IT IS NOW.. i am just always afraid the good times won't last and that's a major source of my worries all the time. I want to let go fully and enjoy the present but I always have to be planning for future emergencies and bad shit that I know always happens lol
  16. CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    Originally posted by WE SMOOTH I just asked myself this question even though you didn't ask me.. I've had about 5 drinks tonight over the last 5 hours and just smoked weed. i didn't pop a molly or anything.

    I WOULD LOVE TO LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE P MUCH HOW IT IS NOW.. i am just always afraid the good times won't last and that's a major source of my worries all the time. I want to let go fully and enjoy the present but I always have to be planning for future emergencies and bad shit that I know always happens lol

    I'm glad to hear you say that. So even if you could never do any drugs/alcohol again you'd still feel the same? You seem to be on an upward trajectory and that's good. Because we're never in stasis. Always moving upward or downward. And when you're really low, it's so easy to convince yourself that you're on that upward trajectory, when really the fact is that you don't have the energy to give a fuck how bad it is.

    But that's cool dude. Hopefully I'll be there soon.
  17. CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    I wonder who the best singer on NIS is? I want to have an online talent show.
  18. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Ghost https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5bfc91b490733

    1. it feels awful to find her attractive
    2. what the fuck is all that shit on the dildo tower? I kept pausing it to work it out but all I can make out are a bunch of heatsinks and status lights
  19. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    lol, there's a closer view toward the end of the video, a bunch of servos and gimbals and shit to control the direction. jesus christ.

    3. amusing that she makes a video of herself getting penetrated by a robot but feels modest enough to cover her tits the entire time
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  20. RestStop Space Nigga
    Just looks more gorgeous each day .....

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