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The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.

  1. Originally posted by NARCassist any hooker would have been with the ugliest of the ugliest dudes around. you'd be a relief to any of them no matter how you looked.



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    Yeah I know, but still... I dunno. I feel sorry for prostitutes, I want to make it as good as I can for them.
  2. RestStop Space Nigga
    Originally posted by Enter I don't get it? Why can't you look at it?

    Because of fucking cunts in real life. I'm sure you get it.
  3. Originally posted by RestStop Because of fucking cunts in real life. I'm sure you get it.

    Kinda. I'm trying to hate women less though. Unfortunately a lot of it's innate.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. Originally posted by Enter Yeah. I'll go to a brothel in just over a month, so she can actually enjoy it more since I'll be buff. I don't want her to be disgusted fucking me.

    Man, I know you know this already but you've got issues. The prostitute doesn't care how good or bad you look. I mean I'm sure if she had a choice she'd choose the better looking one, but I doubt you're hideous or anything. Regardless, I don't think going to a prostitute will fulfill what you are looking for. But regardless, it may help. Maybe you just need to have some pointless sex or something, I feel like you've built the whole event up in your head way more than it really is.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by Enter Yeah I know, but still… I dunno. I feel sorry for prostitutes, I want to make it as good as I can for them.

    well little tip for ya, go for at least a 2 hour. 1 hour is way too quick and you won't get to do half the shit you want. it will literally have barely started and it'll be over. you'll be on your way home thinking 'damn, why didn't i get longer for'.



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  6. Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    If ya'll niggas never listened to the orchestral versions of old Final Fantasy music ya'll are missing out.
  7. Originally posted by greenplastic Man, I know you know this already but you've got issues. The prostitute doesn't care how good or bad you look. I mean I'm sure if she had a choice she'd choose the better looking one, but I doubt you're hideous or anything. Regardless, I don't think going to a prostitute will fulfill what you are looking for. But regardless, it may help. Maybe you just need to have some pointless sex or something, I feel like you've built the whole event up in your head way more than it really is.

    Probably. I just want a girl to like me. :( I'm going to ask out this chick from uni when she messages me next. I hope she says yes.

    When I'm buff I'm going to go out to different bars and stuff and see if women hit on me.
  8. I feel a lot more confident since I started lifting, but I don't know what to do with this confidence now, you know? I feel like a loser still sitting in my room posting on NIS. That's why I need to fuck someone, methinks.
  9. Originally posted by Enter I feel a lot more confident since I started lifting, but I don't know what to do with this confidence now, you know? I feel like a loser still sitting in my room posting on NIS. That's why I need to fuck someone, methinks.

    Get a motorcycle.
  10. Originally posted by NARCassist well little tip for ya, go for at least a 2 hour. 1 hour is way too quick and you won't get to do half the shit you want. it will literally have barely started and it'll be over. you'll be on your way home thinking 'damn, why didn't i get longer for'.



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    yea but dude you are into like every kink in the book and this dude is practically a virgin lol

    I went to Amsterdam once and had a night of smoking and bar hopping with some European dudes I met at my hostel. After we were pretty intoxicated the two guys both wanted to get a prostitute. I wasn't really trying to, and I was hungry, so I told them I'd just go grab something to eat and then wait whatever was left of the time, and they both paid for like an hour. I then went to get food and found some place selling pizza and got some and ate it. It had only been 15 minutes so I figured I had 45 more to wait which kind of seemed like a lot at this point but I told them I would so I went to the bridge where we were supposed to meet, and both of them were already there waiting for me, I guess they came really fast.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. Originally posted by NARCassist well little tip for ya, go for at least a 2 hour. 1 hour is way too quick and you won't get to do half the shit you want. it will literally have barely started and it'll be over. you'll be on your way home thinking 'damn, why didn't i get longer for'.



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    I'm afraid I wont' be able to get a boner for nerve reasons and then regret paying for such a long time, you know? I'll pay for like half an hour I guess, and if I don't get a boner I can just lie and say I just want to cuddle; that'd be less embarrassing haha.
  12. Originally posted by greenplastic yea but dude you are into like every kink in the book and this dude is practically a virgin lol

    I went to Amsterdam once and had a night of smoking and bar hopping with some European dudes I met at my hostel. After we were pretty intoxicated the two guys both wanted to get a prostitute. I wasn't really trying to, and I was hungry, so I told them I'd just go grab something to eat and then wait whatever was left of the time, and they both paid for like an hour. I then went to get food and found some place selling pizza and got some and ate it. It had only been 15 minutes so I figured I had 45 more to wait which kind of seemed like a lot at this point but I told them I would so I went to the bridge where we were supposed to meet, and both of them were already there waiting for me, I guess they came really fast.

    Sucks they don't let you cum more than once if you paid for all that time.
  13. Originally posted by Enter Sucks they don't let you cum more than once if you paid for all that time.

    I don't see why they wouldn't
  14. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by greenplastic yea but dude you are into like every kink in the book and this dude is practically a virgin lol

    I went to Amsterdam once and had a night of smoking and bar hopping with some European dudes I met at my hostel. After we were pretty intoxicated the two guys both wanted to get a prostitute. I wasn't really trying to, and I was hungry, so I told them I'd just go grab something to eat and then wait whatever was left of the time, and they both paid for like an hour. I then went to get food and found some place selling pizza and got some and ate it. It had only been 15 minutes so I figured I had 45 more to wait which kind of seemed like a lot at this point but I told them I would so I went to the bridge where we were supposed to meet, and both of them were already there waiting for me, I guess they came really fast.

    jesus, that was too quick, not even getting your money worth, lol. when i did a hour for my birthday last year i did some smack beforehand. i didn't even manage to come in that time. poor girl must have felt like a total failure or summing, lol. i like to take my time with it tho anyway. a hour way too quick, i'm thinking better going for an overnight at a hotel next time.

    reminds me i read a profile on adultwork where this chick put a description of what an overnight with her would consist of. she described going out for dinner and a movie or summing, then coming back and making love and shit. then how you'd sleep for the night in each others arms before waking up together for some more morning sex before she leaves. i thought wtf? i ain't paying you to sleep bitch, you gonna earn your money hard, lmfao.



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  15. Originally posted by NARCassist jesus, that was too quick, not even getting your money worth, lol. when i did a hour for my birthday last year i did some smack beforehand. i didn't even manage to come in that time. poor girl must have felt like a total failure or summing, lol. i like to take my time with it tho anyway. a hour way too quick, i'm thinking better going for an overnight at a hotel next time.

    reminds me i read a profile on adultwork where this chick put a description of what an overnight with her would consist of. she described going out for dinner and a movie or summing, then coming back and making love and shit. then how you'd sleep for the night in each others arms before waking up together for some more morning sex before she leaves. i thought wtf? i ain't paying you to sleep bitch, you gonna earn your money hard, lmfao.



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    you've met girls from adult dating sites before? like specifically designed just for sex?

    when i get muscles, I should be getting some interest from girls right, even though my face isn't the best?
  16. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by Enter Sucks they don't let you cum more than once if you paid for all that time.

    you just gotta find the right ones. most on adultwork put it in their profile that you can cum as many times as you can manage. do they have adultwork in oz? i'm sure they do.



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  17. I'm looking at my passport photo which would be the best representation of me because of the lighting etc. I'm definitely not ugly, I'm kinda cute. If I picture that face with a muscular body I'm pretty sure girls would be interested.
  18. Every once in a while I think about getting an overnight prostitute and meth

    But meth sex starts to feel nasty after an hour or so, and then the smell gets overpowering and it's just too much work, and you wish you would've just watched porn instead
  19. Originally posted by NARCassist you just gotta find the right ones. most on adultwork put it in their profile that you can cum as many times as you can manage. do they have adultwork in oz? i'm sure they do.



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    Prostitution is legal there, I'm sure they've got something like it
  20. NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Originally posted by Enter you've met girls from adult dating sites before? like specifically designed just for sex?

    when i get muscles, I should be getting some interest from girls right, even though my face isn't the best?

    i don't like those dating sites, i never know wtf to put in the profile without sounding pretentious as fuck, i know they all bullshit. plus there are always way more men than women so the girls all get swamped with messages unless they butt ugly, lol.

    i went on tinder and most of the girls were saying 'i'm just looking for mr right' or 'no hookups or ONS'. like wtf, this is a hookup site, its not fucking match.com ffs.



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