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Shoplifting

  1. #61
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by mmQ Apparently not the one I went to. Looking back at it I was super obvious about it. I pretended to talk on my phone to my girlfriend like she was explaining to me what formula to get and I kept walking up and down the aisle all exasperated like I coulsnt find the right one and she was frustrating me because she wasnt explaining it well. Lol

    I think I literally spent 20 minutes in the aisle just going around and grabbing formulas and putting them back and then every few minutes grabbing the 35 dollar ones (the most expensive one) and putting them in my oversized coat one at a time.

    I also went there at least 5 or 6 times with 8 cloth shopping bags and just went around the grocery section filling them in the cart as I went along and then just carting them out getting $100s of dollars of free groceries at a time.

    The alarm only went off one time and I just kept walking and nobody even attempted to stop me.

    It's just Russian Roulette.
  2. #62
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by -SpectraL It's just Russian Roulette.

    Well sure, like committing any crime I suppose. I was just pointing out how shitty their "crack LP" team must have been when i was around.
  3. #63
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    Originally posted by mmQ I once went into a Walmart and stole 8 containers of babby formula. I still have them. Lol.

    Why would u steal formula?
  4. #64
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    I like to drink it.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. #65
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    Kek! So stupid 😂
  6. #66
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    I found what the women usually do is place the containers of baby formula under the stroller in the little storage basket there, then buy something else and "forget" to pay for the formula. A lot people steal it just to refund it, too, because it's quite expensive, and they even get the tax back (a federal offense).
  7. #67
    Originally posted by Sudo I made the shoplifting thread on zoklet and let tacho take credit. Just drove my gf to wal mart and she stole a pair of boots.





    Who tf were you on zoklet?

    Wow she sounds like scum. Perfect match.
  8. #68
    Originally posted by -SpectraL You're lucky you got away. Walmart has crack LP teams.

    The only thing my local Walmart has are crack heads.
  9. #69
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by Solstice The only thing my local Walmart has are crack heads.

    They always have an old man or woman demanding to see receipts going out the door. Pretty tough to glide a TV through the front in a cart there.
  10. #70
    cowboy Yung Blood
    Originally posted by -SpectraL They always have an old man or woman demanding to see receipts going out the door. Pretty tough to glide a TV through the front in a cart there.

    I always tell these annoying old fuckers i don't have to let them see shit. And that's just grocery shopping.
  11. #71
    Kev Space Nigga
    I remember putting some tips from that thread into practice, then i stopped when i began working in a store, is that normal?
  12. #72
    kobe bryant rapist Tuskegee Airman (banned)
    Originally posted by -SpectraL I found what the women usually do is place the containers of baby formula under the stroller in the little storage basket there, then buy something else and "forget" to pay for the formula. A lot people steal it just to refund it, too, because it's quite expensive, and they even get the tax back (a federal offense).

    - employees taking items and throwing them in the trash then retrieving them from the dumpster
    - i know someone who had a decently attractive female in cuffs...and the chick full-lips kissed him
    - a chick that carried a large fast-food drink container filled with a drink...then stuffed various items into it.

    ive posted some other funny stories before. one was a jackoff running across the parking lot that face-planted into a curb.
  13. #73
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by kobe bryant rapist - employees taking items and throwing them in the trash then retrieving them from the dumpster
    - i know someone who had a decently attractive female in cuffs…and the chick full-lips kissed him
    - a chick that carried a large fast-food drink container filled with a drink…then stuffed various items into it.

    ive posted some other funny stories before. one was a jackoff running across the parking lot that face-planted into a curb.

    When I worked loss prevention for K-Mart, I observed the Merchandising Manager, the second in command of the entire store, writing off merch as damaged that was actually undamaged, then throwing it into the dumpster out back and picking it up later that night in his car after his shift. I asked the store manager how to handle it, and he said take him down, just like any other shoplifter, even though they were good friends. I waited at the dumpster the next night and he came to pick up his goodies, and as he was loading it into his car, I stepped out and smiled and asked to see the paperwork. His eyes were round as saucers and his jaw dropped to the floor. Then he came inside and blabbered out everything to his buddy the store manager and converted into a 10 year old child with snot bubbles coming out of his nose and everything, a very rich, well-paid man of 40+, crying like a newborn baby. Got paid $80,000 a year, plus bonuses, but that apparently wasn't enough for him. Poor sap.
  14. #74
    80k a year watching security cameras at Kmart lol.

    Nobody working inside a Kmart makes that much.
  15. #75
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    We all pretty much got jobs or are on ssi now.
  16. #76
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace 80k a year watching security cameras at Kmart lol.

    Nobody working inside a Kmart makes that much.

    Learn to read, dummy. The second-level store manager I nabbed made 80K. The store manager made 100K, plus bonuses.
  17. #77
    cigreting Dark Matter
    Originally posted by -SpectraL Learn to read, dummy. The second-level store manager I nabbed made 80K. The store manager made 100K, plus bonuses.

    Hes too retarded to comprehend, i wouldnt bother explaining
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. #78
    Originally posted by BeeReBuddy We all pretty much got jobs or are on ssi now.

    Lolno.
  19. #79
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by -SpectraL I once calculated my total apprehensions from my required quota and length of tenure and came up with just over 5,000 arrests. Of those 5,000, about 2,000 of them resulting in foot chase/fight or straight out fight with the shoplifter or shoplifters. I only lost one case the entire time I worked LP. That's because when I arrest I already have them on taped video and I'm 100% positive they have the merch on them when I approach them outside. I had no false arrests at all. One month, I won the award for best LP in Canada.

    I JUST CAME
  20. #80
    Robert Mugabe African Astronaut
    Shop lifting is for scruffs and poor people, and I am neither.
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