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Shoplifting
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2020-02-12 at 3:52 AM UTCOne time, I walked directly into a Kmart aisle for the coughy syrup when I was down and out and really wanted to just get fucked up. I pocketed 2 tall bottles and then made the mistake of walking over to the cat food aisle to make it look like I wanted something and I asked the guy if they had Alley Cat brand cat food. He said no, which I knew he would.
Then I went up to the desk and grabbed a western union thing and told the clerk I'd bring it back I just wanted to fill it out later.
She said that's fine but had a funny look in her eye and I knew she knew that I was already busted. So I left anyway and walked fast and then FOUR people started coming after me outside the building. I tried running but it was winter lol and they surrounded me and grabbed my backpack and it was such a ahitty situation . It pissed me off and I told them tonfucking get off me I didnt do SHIT!!!!
But then I admitted to it because they obviously wrent gonna let me leave.
I volunte2red to do some shoplifting class instead of them calling the police and then I never did and that was that.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-02-13 at 1:06 AM UTC
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2020-02-13 at 1:20 AM UTC
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2020-02-13 at 1:48 AM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL This one time I was on duty and looking across the mall to the Loblaws on the other side, and I just happened to notice a guy at thier meat section, a big fucker, at least 6'5", with long blondish hair and a neanderthal face, stuff at least ten packs of meat into his waistband. Then he went right out the front door, and I said fuck it, not my store. Then the guy comes back in through the same door five minutes later and I watch him go right up to the meat section in Loblaws again and starts piling up packs of steaks and high-end meat under his arm. So I went to my service desk and picked up the phone and called my store manager and told him about it, and he said I should definitely apprehend him, even though he's in the other store, not ours. He said there's a great chance we'd be next, so may as well take him out right now, but get permission from the Loblaw's management.
So I crossed over and the guy has got at least 20 packs of assorted meats on him that he's holding in his arms at this point, that he took time to pick out, so I went to the Loblaw's office and asked the manager if I could take him out and she said absolutely. So I go back out on the floor and the clown now has all twenty packs of meat stuffed into his waistband already, in front, and behind, and on both sides, and his sweater is sticking out like a balloon, at which point he heads on down the aisle and heads directly for the exit door. When he went out, I walked up beside him and flipped my badge and told him he was under arrest. Suddenly, he starts doing the chicken, literally, and all the packs of meat go flying up and down and out and all around on the ground, and he drops to the ground having a caniption fit, then this girl runs into the thick of it and he throws his keys to her, and she grabs them perfectly and runs to a van parked very near and she gets in and revs up and screeches and burns rubber over to where I have him pinned to the ground. I thought for a second she was going to run us both over, but then she sped off, with whatever booty they had been able to get before I nailed him. Didn't get the plate that time either, because it was so chaotic.
Next thing I have him in cuffs up in the security office of the Loblaws, and who calls? Her. She wants to talk to her man and see what's up.
You don't say this when you're a floorwalker. You can actually be charged for impersonating an officer and you definitely cannot arrest anyone. I don't think it can even be called detaining someone, you just hope they come with you
Originally posted by -SpectraL And then the meat thief had a criminal record a mile long and ended up getting two years, and his girlfriend was also questioned.
He must have had other charges because you will not get 2 years in prison for shoplifting from a grocery store once. Just does not happen at all.
Originally posted by -SpectraL No, but I banned her from the store for life.
Did that make you feel good. The way you tell this tale seems really cringey and like you're the kinda person who really revels in authority which is pretty pathetic and an attribute of the worst kind of people. I hope you aren't one of them. -
2020-02-13 at 3:33 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo You don't say this when you're a floorwalker. You can actually be charged for impersonating an officer and you definitely cannot arrest anyone. I don't think it can even be called detaining someone, you just hope they come with you
Not true. LP have full "force for force" and apprehension powers, all legal. Cuffs, badge, arrests, all legal. If you are asked to come back inside and you take one step away, LP can nail you to the pavement and cuff you and drag you back to the office by force, all legal. Take it from me. I worked the job for almost 10 years. I've attended court on thousands of my arrests. -
2020-02-13 at 3:37 AM UTCAnd as for banning and arresting people, that's the job. And after all, I've given hundreds of people breaks. Poor people who didn't steal much, like just baby formula or diapers. But if you're lifting for profit, hey, that's the game. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
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2020-02-13 at 3:45 AM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL And as for banning and arresting people, that's the job. And after all, I've given hundreds of people breaks. Poor people who didn't steal much, like just baby formula or diapers. But if you're lifting for profit, hey, that's the game. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
I once went into a Walmart and stole 8 containers of babby formula. I still have them. Lol. -
2020-02-13 at 4:28 AM UTC
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2020-02-13 at 4:33 AM UTC
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2020-02-13 at 4:40 AM UTCThat seems insane. I would imagine it'd be within someones right to struggle though because what gives one citizen the right to arrest another without charge or conviction? That's letting big government do their job for them and basically being a fascist cuck in my book. It's a dishonorable thing to try to apprehend people for stealing from a big box store who just write off their losses. I think that would result in bad karma for you mr. speck. Gross. I hope you've learned some things since
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2020-02-13 at 4:51 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo That seems insane. I would imagine it'd be within someones right to struggle though because what gives one citizen the right to arrest another without charge or conviction? That's letting big government do their job for them and basically being a fascist cuck in my book. It's a dishonorable thing to try to apprehend people for stealing from a big box store who just write off their losses. I think that would result in bad karma for you mr. speck. Gross. I hope you've learned some things since
I got sick of the job, honestly. At the end, I had constant fractures on my knuckles and knees from fights with shoplifters almost every day out in the parking lot. There's a lot of hours of boring court just sitting around waiting. And your fellows employees grow to hate you because of all the internal employee apprehensions you end up having to make. It's good that no one manages or supervises you, so you're free do basically do anything you want, but the stress is super high, and the pounding your body takes over the years starts to add up. -
2020-02-13 at 4:52 AM UTCyeah, it's kind of like where if someone tries to steal your TV (which is going to be on your property obviously) you have the right to shoot them in a lot of states. Now if they DIDN'T try to steal anything I imagine speckle sauce (or at least the store) could get in a lot of trouble
anyway, I haven't stolen much and don't really want to keep doing it besides self checkout.. risk/reward, karma
i mean, i imagine this is another exaggeration, but THOUSANDS of court cases? that's like every other day -
2020-02-13 at 4:54 AM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL I got sick of the job, honestly. At the end, I had constant fractures on my knuckles and knees from fights with shoplifters almost every day out in the parking lot. There's a lot of hours of boring court just sitting around waiting. And your fellows employees grow to hate you because of all the internal employee apprehensions you end up having to make. It's good that no one manages or supervises you, so you're free do basically do anything you want, but the stress is super high, and the pounding your body takes over the years starts to add up.
That's good, I hope you found things you enjoyed more after I imagine it wouldn't be hard to find another placement somewhere else if you wanted to -
2020-02-13 at 5:09 AM UTCI once calculated my total apprehensions from my required quota and length of tenure and came up with just over 5,000 arrests. Of those 5,000, about 2,000 of them resulting in foot chase/fight or straight out fight with the shoplifter or shoplifters. I only lost one case the entire time I worked LP. That's because when I arrest I already have them on taped video and I'm 100% positive they have the merch on them when I approach them outside. I had no false arrests at all. One month, I won the award for best LP in Canada.
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2020-02-13 at 5:16 AM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL I once calculated my total apprehensions from my required quota and length of tenure and came up with just over 5,000 arrests. Of those 5,000, about 2,000 of them resulting in foot chase/fight or straight out fight with the shoplifter or shoplifters. I only lost one case the entire time I worked LP. That's because when I arrest I already have them on taped video and I'm 100% positive they have the merch on them when I approach them outside. I had no false arrests at all. One month, I won the award for best LP in Canada.
you can have a conversation without exaggerating into the absurd you know. What's the point of lying so much? Does it make you feel good? That's kinda sad but nobody cares about the narrative you want to construct for your life but youThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-02-13 at 5:19 AM UTC
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2020-02-13 at 7:39 AM UTC
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2020-02-13 at 7:53 AM UTC
Originally posted by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Cuck
Almost everyone pilfers from their employers.
Sucks when you catch an employee who's been there for 20+ years loading their car up with hundreds of dollars worth of merch. People you've worked with for years, who have a lot of history at the store. I've had them begging and offering me thousands, free sex, anything I want, if I would just let them go and not tell anyone. Of course, when you have a job to do, that's impossible. -
2020-02-13 at 8:54 AM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL Sucks when you catch an employee who's been there for 20+ years loading their car up with hundreds of dollars worth of merch. People you've worked with for years, who have a lot of history at the store. I've had them begging and offering me thousands, free sex, anything I want, if I would just let them go and not tell anyone. Of course, when you have a job to do, that's impossible.
Hope you got paid loads. -
2020-02-13 at 9:48 AM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL You're lucky you got away. Walmart has crack LP teams.
Apparently not the one I went to. Looking back at it I was super obvious about it. I pretended to talk on my phone to my girlfriend like she was explaining to me what formula to get and I kept walking up and down the aisle all exasperated like I coulsnt find the right one and she was frustrating me because she wasnt explaining it well. Lol
I think I literally spent 20 minutes in the aisle just going around and grabbing formulas and putting them back and then every few minutes grabbing the 35 dollar ones (the most expensive one) and putting them in my oversized coat one at a time.
I also went there at least 5 or 6 times with 8 cloth shopping bags and just went around the grocery section filling them in the cart as I went along and then just carting them out getting $100s of dollars of free groceries at a time.
The alarm only went off one time and I just kept walking and nobody even attempted to stop me.
