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The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕

  1. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Solstice I hear my neighbor playing a recorder through the wall, I should get mine out of the closet and put them to shame.

  2. Fuck Your World African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Solstice I hear my neighbor playing a recorder through the wall, I should get mine out of the closet and put them to shame.

    "STEREO WAR"
  3. Fuck Your World African Astronaut
    oops

    stereo = panflute?
  4. Solstice Naturally Camouflaged
    I always wanted to learn violin
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  5. Solstice Naturally Camouflaged
    I've finally figured out that small amounts of caffeine definitely help me sleep and make me tired. Must be an ADHD/ADD thing. A good cup of English breakfast tea with my nightly sedatives always works better than the sedatives alone and i brew my shit strong.
  6. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Solstice I always wanted to learn violin

    me too actually
  7. Originally posted by Solstice I hear my neighbor playing a recorder through the wall, I should get mine out of the closet and put them to shame.

    I recently cleaned mine out for me and Casper's upcoming album and i think its what farts sound like in hell
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  8. Do it get violins you faggots.
  9. ORACLE Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Solstice I always wanted to learn violin

    Check pawn shops. I saw some nice looking violins yesterday for under $100 while searching for video games. I have actually thought about the mechanics of instruments before as I was interested in lutherie.

    Ultimately all stringed instruments are, are a way to hold strings to a certain tension in an arrangement that is easy to play. The wood, resonance chamber craftsmanship etc are secondary qualities that in blind trials have less effect on the perceived sound quality than the quality of the strings and bow, and the actual tuning assembly.

    I would say you can get a cheapish (still solid) violin to gut and replace. Something that feels nice and sturdy. It will get you 85% of the way.
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  10. I just had milk, tater tots, ham (not the deli kind) and an avocado for dinner.

  11. Solstice Naturally Camouflaged
    Tater tots are god tier food, I could eat those every day.

    You couldn't pay me to drink milk. I have a phobia of it. I had a nightmare not long ago that someone was forcibly holding me down and pouring it into my mouth like a form of waterboarding.
  12. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Solstice Tater tots are god tier food, I could eat those every day.

    You couldn't pay me to drink milk. I have a phobia of it. I had a nightmare not long ago that someone was forcibly holding me down and pouring it into my mouth like a form of waterboarding.

    Do you genuinely have a milk phobia? Do you get scared when you're in its presence even?
  13. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    I need some stims to restart the conflict shitpile
  14. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Juiceb0x offered to give me his facebook login a long time ago so that I could continue to research sources after mine got banned.

    I should've taken him up on it so that I could log in now and digitally haunt his friends and family
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  15. ORACLE Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by mmQ Do you genuinely have a milk phobia? Do you get scared when you're in its presence even?

    Being John Milkovich
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  16. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by aldra Juiceb0x offered to give me his facebook login a long time ago so that I could continue to research sources after mine got banned.

    I should've taken him up on it so that I could log in now and digitally haunt his friends and family



    Originally posted by ORACLE Being John Milkovich

    This is the first time ever in my internet life that I thanked two posts at the same time. Both my thumbs simultaneous click. On my phone of course.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  17. 1993 Houston
    Originally posted by Rrr Wheel gonts and gontettesm it's that time of the year again to call your brother your mother your husband your bar friend from far and wide leave no one to the side. Universal hugs xoxo full relief and another belief is to cleansed from the healing hands of all of earth's man. I ask you not to call me a prophet but simply a basket, case in point, we will rejoice the juice of the stars amongstesth our holy toes which are seent by the comatose in all their joys and woes and roshambos. Trust a bird a nickel, he wont fight you, trust a bird a dime, then you got a crime. Give but don't give too much because our souls must be balanced by the cards we are dealt AT HAND

    There is no one who I trust more of my saints and fellow brothers than the man who put in my hood. His plural identities form triangles too and forth amongst himself and us all can learn from this sort of divine passion into the rhyme and the school of cool where no body is made a fool…Ouuul.. We can sing and we can dance, but we never know what its like in another gont's pants, we can huddle and we can puddle but theres nothing to say we cant push our shovel, to the crystal sin bins we learn who we are from within, and I cant even totally like OMNG oh fuck they're COMING FOR ME!!!! THEYRE HURTING ME!!! UMmm excuse me officer it was a big black man and he hurt me and stole my wallet and now I might just cry, he told me so many lies :( He was wearing a red blud shirt and some blue crip jeans and see if he got his genes on me dna sequence this fucking sasquatch ass down syndrome ass crusty ass nigga!!! Ooo I'm so lit

    After I got robbed he asked me do I trust him and he LIED TO ME! I thought we had something special and after he untied me he wouldn't even rape me even though I quivered so innocently and gaily by the daily and he punched a big hole in mmy wall and cut me with a razor blade over the nipples and it hurt like fuck and he even stole my bird food and kicked my cat and ratted on me to the pigs like a dog and a chicken. The police came and arrested me in my house for being naked because the lack guy called da 5-0 on me even though I ratted on him to the pig dogs for shrewing me over first and stealing my wlalalaet. Im just so lonely and have no energy and no hobbies and no friends and my life has no meaning I live in sensory deprivation and feel almost nothing because this is like a pseudo existence even though its easy. I don't know how much longer I can take living like this and every time I find a way out of it, it doesn't work. Im literally trapped in my own degenerate situation and theres nothing I can do about it. THATS why I was so glad that he robbed me, finally some human interaction, finally to be emasculated and emancipated by someone so burly and strong with a biggy wiggy ding dong. I wanted him to never leave, we could have talked about our lives for hours, days, years even, I would never want him to go away, we would get married and start a family by adopting blind and deaf children from Vietnam and making them eat mashed up dog food through a straw in a locked shut cellar full of aliens and roach demons and roach alien angels. I hit him up on snapchat and the nigger ghosted me. What a scumbobuloud

    So I've been taking good care of myself, I take a shower, brush my teeth, take my vitamins and supplements and medicines and nootropics and just plain ol' druggity drugs. It's a real quandary how this has came to be. Where do I find someone that I could enjoy talking to about weird bundy-tier shit and juggling recipes for disaster! (involved chayyynsaws). When i'm not shitposting on computer i'm laying in bed dissociating and watching my thousands of constant hppd hallucinations scroll past me and then I realize i'm hallucinating constantly and I have schizophrenia and im in a straightjacket in a maximum security psychiatric wing of a prison for dollar tree's most wanted. I am in this isolation chamber with padded walls 24/7 and the only social interaction I have is them slipping a tray of microwave beans and soggy bread to ensure my existence is prolonged in the limbohell before I go to limbohell. I scream and I shout and I let it all out but they just wont open the door and I just cant take it anymore! Tonight I'm smearing shit on all the ways and then EXPLODING WITH RAGE at the world just so angst man, they will hear my wails of agony and maybe even let me draw a shark with a crayon so I don't kill myself with my writing utensil. Oh no oh no oh no it's happening again I'm getting sucked into the wormhole of hellhole into an ancient realm that only exists in my mind and there are more realities inside the mind inside that reality so on and so force..oh no oh no oh no the gravitational pull!

    I am a quiet and helpful sea amoeba lost on the shore, traveling all the way to the Trinidadi islands. There are many water campers or "swimmers" as the Ak'Nuuj tribe says and sometimes I swim into their bras and give them tiny microscopic donations I enhance their skin cells with calloused material because I help people by being a sea amoeba who makes your skin stronger like a turtle! Starfish #5789385566 has been causing me a lot of problems lately though, he spins in my direction AGAINST the wave so I know he's doing it on purpose, when I use my sea amoeba physical IQ to latch onto a swimmers body to give them turtle skin that protects them against sharp pointy starfish AKA shurikens!! then mr 5789ish… tries to shoo me away and block the contact point so their skin cannot be protected against starfish and then they become a capitalist casualty. I call them shurikens because they really are, the sea illuminati of the great deep state of atlantis run by Soros VonRockefellerRothschildmenoymenoy has been spreading anti-sea amoeba pro-star fish Zionist propaganda to make all swimmers have shuriken-cut skin which enables the radio transmissions to get into my cuts and make me miserable and throw my hat down and just straight up give up mang what is there to lose even, the sea regime means nothing to me and requires anarchy. The sheep need to stop acting like chickens and take on the pigs who act like dogs.

    Ahhh I'm bounce 1 dimensio back up into my straightjacket in the facility, these escapades of fantasy are the only way I can keep my sanity, I discover the farthest niches of imagination in my 2nd reality of perceptual quantity and quality. OH NO IM GETTING TRANSPORTED TO THE EXECUTION CHAIR WTF this wasn't in the contract maybe I thunk too hard can I think myself out of this mortal shell let me die inside before I can die in real life. Oh hey I'm back as the man who got robbed by a black man did you miss me? SPOILER ALERT: It was all a dream inside a dream inside an inception inside a 12loop inside a spiraling O I had PTSD and dissociated from the black man not being my friend and I saw my desperation personified as a psych patient who saw himself as someone who has been unfairly excluded like the sea amoeba. Now we can resume the choir.

    The fabric of reality is woven by the hand of consciousness and we're all part of a bigger picture and on a stage for the metaphysical entities to judge us by how we participate in this game. This is the trial round before moving on to the incorporeal state, where those who have been good are in the fabric of reality and those who are bad are in the fantasy fabric of entropy, Or is the next state incorporeal? Either way our actions are what determines our fate, other's fate, and especially our own. We can take a religious cracker wafer from the saint but will we hear the saint of paint when she faints? I disagree and I cant believe and I'm starting to seethe at the fires that breathe

    And then I spent 8 hours drawing in MS paint
  18. Originally posted by Solstice Tater tots are god tier food, I could eat those every day.

    You couldn't pay me to drink milk. I have a phobia of it. I had a nightmare not long ago that someone was forcibly holding me down and pouring it into my mouth like a form of waterboarding.

    At one of my first jobs I told this dude I had milk, tater tots, chicken nuggets, and an apple for lunch (he asked)

    "Whaaaa?? That's like food for kids bro!"

    Then someone else came by, "Fuck you, you hit on 12 year olds" (actually true, he was 16 tho)

    He stormed off and I still laugh about it occasionally. He ended up quitting because nobody liked him. He was creepy and always complained about working too hard/not getting enough hours but the fucker had the balls to say he was unavailable Friday, Saturday, and Sunday because they were 'me days'. God I hate that fucker. His name was Leo or Leon or something.
  19. bigthink victim of incest
    Originally posted by 1993 And then I spent 8 hours drawing in MS paint


    post em


    maybe you and wariat could do a collab
  20. Solstice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by mmQ Do you genuinely have a milk phobia? Do you get scared when you're in its presence even?

    Not scared but disgusted, yes. If I see a commercial of someone drinking milk I tend to look away. If I'm at a table with someone who is drinking it I have to consciously make an effort to try to ignore it and not look in their direction. I'll eat stuff like ice cream knowing it's mostly milk but if it's actual milk then forget it.

    Don't really know how it happened, my mom says when I was about 5 I told her one day out of the blue that I couldn't eat cereal with milk anymore because I was allergic (I'm not) even though I had been eating/drinking it up to that point.

    It's so psychological that I won't eat Milk Duds or other malted milk balls simply due to the name. I once bought a six pack of beer that was a "Milk Stout" by accident (was pasteurized with lactose) and I gave it all to a friend because I wouldn't even try it.
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