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The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion đź’©đź–•
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2019-12-12 at 6:20 AM UTCSad :(
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2019-12-12 at 6:21 AM UTC
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2019-12-12 at 9:35 AM UTCMotherfucker i been up almost all night
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2019-12-12 at 11:21 AM UTC
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2019-12-12 at 11:42 AM UTC
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2019-12-12 at 11:46 AM UTC
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2019-12-12 at 11:50 AM UTCDown to 22mg on my methadone. Started feeling the withdrawals today. I figured 4mg a week was slow enough but maybe not. Idk how long I can go on 3 hours sleep a nightThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-12-12 at 11:51 AM UTC
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2019-12-12 at 11:57 AM UTCSobriety feels damn good.
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2019-12-12 at 12 PM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-12-12 at 12 PM UTCYeah I was doing .5-1g a day for like 3 years. The 2-5g tar a day, with 4mg of xan for like 8 years. Then 185mg methadone, 2-3g fent/China for 2 years. Then the last year and a half tapering.
Kinda just want shit to be over. Bored of every factor my life having to come full circle to this gay shit. I mean sounds like I’m going to spend another holiday season shitting my guts out, and I haven’t gotten high in over a year. Lol. -
2019-12-12 at 12:06 PM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER Yeah I was doing .5-1g a day for like 3 years. The 2-5g tar a day, with 4mg of xan for like 8 years. Then 185mg methadone, 2-3g fent/China for 2 years. Then the last year and a half tapering.
Kinda just want shit to be over. Bored of every factor my life having to come full circle to this gay shit. I mean sounds like I’m going to spend another holiday season shitting my guts out, and I haven’t gotten high in over a year. Lol.
You ever see if Krattom would help mitigate some of the symptoms? I know it sounds ridiculous compared to methadone but maybe it acts differently on the receptors a bit and can make some difference. -
2019-12-12 at 12:09 PM UTCI'm gonna make some stove top espresso.
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2019-12-12 at 12:28 PM UTC
Originally posted by Solstice Glad you kicked the coke it's a shit wasteful drug
Yeah I'm hoping to kick the bottle as well cause that's my biggest trigger. When I go without both for 3 plus weeks I tend to feel closer to the "safe zone". I just feel more...normal, like refreshed/ born again.I hardly sleep at all in the Winter but I feel really good considering. I don't really enjoy Christmas, not for any particular reason I just find it really mundane. To compensate I've ordered a shit load of books so probably just going to read and eat good food/ hibernate in my apartment/ exercise.
When you admit you're not safe even from yourself it really hits home just how fucked up/ how far you have pushed your body's addictiveness by excessive, repetitive hedonism. Over the years the more I've abused the more and more worse I've grew accustomed to/ need if that makes sense?
Dinking even 1 bottle of beer is enough to trigger a bender. I see the outside, albeit cold, to be where the temptation lies with my friends and associates. They are now THE DEVIL! There's a certain feel good factor around the self control side but there's always this thought in my head that plans for occassional dates when I can actually drink and enjoy myself although I don't think this a possibility, just a dream.
*sigh*
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-12-12 at 12:31 PM UTCLet yourself believe that you can drink in a year. If you still want to then, so be it. At least for me though, the urge to drink went away a few months ago.
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2019-12-12 at 12:33 PM UTC
Originally posted by Solstice You ever see if Krattom would help mitigate some of the symptoms? I know it sounds ridiculous compared to methadone but maybe it acts differently on the receptors a bit and can make some difference.
I’ve been meaning to investigate it but idk. A replacement drug to another replacement drug. Then what do I use to get off the Keaton?
Idk. Might still try it if it gets much worse but I’m really so over all this shit. -
2019-12-12 at 12:34 PM UTCLol. Keaton.
Thanks autocorrect. -
2019-12-12 at 12:34 PM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER Let yourself believe that you can drink in a year. If you still want to then, so be it. At least for me though, the urge to drink went away a few months ago.
I just miss the social aspect to it but being able to maintain good relaxed conversation without losing all inhibitions by not drinking is great. It's like being yourself, 24-7, rather a disrespected mess by the end of the night. I feel people will be put off by myself not drinking and I get that. I always felt awkward/ anxious if I was the only one drinking. -
2019-12-12 at 12:40 PM UTCI mean there’s a similar kind of ease when you’re able to just be yourself. The two times someone asked why I wasn’t drinking, I could’ve just said “I just don’t drink”, but I said “I had a pretty gnarly heroin habit. I’d probably steal your purse.” They thought I was joking, but then we actually started talking and it was cool. Felt a lot less awkward just being honest than trying to do bullshit small talk.
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2019-12-12 at 12:42 PM UTCIt’s hilarious how when you’re 20, being as scummy drug addict who punches people is what some people find cool and interesting. In your 30s, people respond a lot better to getting your shit together and having a decent credit score.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
