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The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
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2019-11-29 at 3:24 AM UTCMaybe if i lay in bed with the lights off and dissociate it will make time go by quicker. I get so bored and empty I want to die. Having hobbies doesnt help because my dopamine system is so fried im incapable of enjoying anything
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2019-11-29 at 3:25 AM UTC
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2019-11-29 at 3:26 AM UTC
Originally posted by Rrr Maybe if i lay in bed with the lights off and dissociate it will make time go by quicker. I get so bored and empty I want to die. Having hobbies doesnt help because my dopamine system is so fried im incapable of enjoying anything
do you work?
working will pass the time and give you some money to pursue/try different hobbies, especially since you don't have a lot/any expenses -
2019-11-29 at 3:27 AM UTCFalc
Ahhh, yeah, not getting into a pissing contest with a man-child. -
2019-11-29 at 3:35 AM UTC
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2019-11-29 at 3:36 AM UTC
Originally posted by aldra do you work?
working will pass the time and give you some money to pursue/try different hobbies, especially since you don't have a lot/any expenses
No i dont, and i dont want to work, but even if i did theres nothing i would want to spend money on. I literally find no enjoyment in anything, i have no interest in anything either. Im like fully empty inside and have no reason to live but no reason to die either. I exist because I do and no other reason and thats why i lay on the couch all day because theres nothing id prefer to be doing either. Its not even depression its full blown apathy -
2019-11-29 at 3:36 AM UTCPlease kill me. Please.
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2019-11-29 at 3:38 AM UTCTheyve been talking about brie and crackers for 35 min. 24 minutes talking about a fig tree.
If I dont leave in the next 30 min I'm going to pull a splooshambo and slice my stomach and smear mashed potatoes all over my face. -
2019-11-29 at 3:40 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER Theyve been talking about brie and crackers for 35 min. 24 minutes talking about a fig tree.
If I dont leave in the next 30 min I'm going to pull a splooshambo and slice my stomach and smear mashed potatoes all over my face.
That sounds like a situation ripe for comedy. Start interjecting with inane shit. Act real stupid. -
2019-11-29 at 3:40 AM UTC
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2019-11-29 at 3:44 AM UTC
Originally posted by Rrr No i dont, and i dont want to work, but even if i did theres nothing i would want to spend money on. I literally find no enjoyment in anything, i have no interest in anything either. Im like fully empty inside and have no reason to live but no reason to die either. I exist because I do and no other reason and thats why i lay on the couch all day because theres nothing id prefer to be doing either. Its not even depression its full blown apathy
that's kind of how I feel, but I have to work and try to make the best of it because I don't want to be a burden on other people.
that, at least, is something you can take pride in and build on -
2019-11-29 at 3:47 AM UTCIve wasted 10 years just being a junkie and consequences will never be the same. Seems like being sober doesnt make any difference because i neurochemically raped myself. If im not getting any better wtf is the point
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2019-11-29 at 3:50 AM UTC
Originally posted by Rrr Ive wasted 10 years just being a junkie and consequences will never be the same. Seems like being sober doesnt make any difference because i neurochemically raped myself. If im not getting any better wtf is the point
there are only two ways you can really change direction, kill yourself or try something new.
might as well try something new considering how final the other option is -
2019-11-29 at 3:51 AM UTC
Originally posted by Rrr Maybe if i lay in bed with the lights off and dissociate it will make time go by quicker. I get so bored and empty I want to die. Having hobbies doesnt help because my dopamine system is so fried im incapable of enjoying anything
Keep on trying and it will get easier as you go. -
2019-11-29 at 4 AM UTC
Originally posted by snoodles killing himself and offering his flesh to be consumed by carnivores is a noble end to a meaningless existence
all those pharmaceutical by-products permanently lodged in his meat should add some interesting and subtle flavors.
I imagine any cannibal eating him would be strangely reminded of the taste of cough syrup -
2019-11-29 at 4:04 AM UTC
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2019-11-29 at 4:04 AM UTCI would use ketchup.
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2019-11-29 at 4:23 AM UTC
Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace It's like a dead mans switch for cannibals. Eat sploo and you'll reach the 3rd plateau and be incapacitated long enough for the police to find you
I have constant 2nd plateau visuals no matter what, and im so used to it i dont even notice it most of the time. So probably -
2019-11-29 at 4:36 AM UTC
Originally posted by Technologist No problem, I was 21.
They absolutely didn't have as much of a downer affect as benzos. I was all lovey dovey, and didn’t have a care is the world. More like ecstasy, without the upper affects.
Reminds me of soma which is supposed to metabolize into some kind kind of barbiturate or quaalude metabolite or something. I hate benzos but soma is quite enjoyable to me
Originally posted by aldra that's kind of how I feel, but I have to work and try to make the best of it because I don't want to be a burden on other people.
that, at least, is something you can take pride in and build on
I get not wanting to be a burden, but I guess there's technically ways to do it painlessly while also making it look accidental if you think hard enough.
I think the way forward for me is probably to start being a "better person" by treating people better, but I don't get treated that well myself which makes it a lot harder. I'm naturally a really nice guy when I'm talking with people but I'm usually in too jaded of a mindset or or physically hurting to hit up strangers for conversation if I'm not doing something as a part of a group or event or something -
2019-11-29 at 4:44 AM UTC
Originally posted by Rrr I have constant 2nd plateau visuals no matter what, and im so used to it i dont even notice it most of the time. So probably
I stared at a really bright light bulb on meth intermittently for 2 hours and my vision has been fucked ever since. I went to an eye doctor and he said I have somewhat severly dry eyes and gave me artificial tears and a restasis script I got denied for but that "everything else is fine". It's visual snow and floaters, the latter of which he admitted he could see. I'm sure it's dry eyes too but that doesn't really affect your vision and it certainly doesn't look exactly like visual snow in your entire field of vision so bad it's hard to read. I didn't tell him what I did to myself, I probably should have, he acted like there's no reason my eyes would suddenly fuck themselves.
