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The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
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2019-11-26 at 7:49 PM UTC
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2019-11-26 at 7:52 PM UTC
Originally posted by DietPiano Well, he has a relationship with his mother I imagine
If you want to call it that. It's mainly me constantly doing things for her and the household followed by getting roasted for something like not having socks on at home or deciding to not need a jacket leaving the house.
We were making pasta a week or so ago and I went to drain the water by grabbing the side pot handles which weren't hot since their rubber, she told me to wear oven mitts because it was hot and I said "no it's not, look" and lifted the pot of water/pasta with my bare hands on the grips and held it there and she screamed "YOURE A FUCKING ASSHOLE" and didn't talk to me for a whole day. I usually cook dinner and have it all ready when she gets home from work and I do all the dishes afterwards also and she will scream at me that I'm running the water too long and should be able to wash them faster, regardless of the fact I bought the meal, cooked it, and cleaned up and didn't ask her to do anything but sit there and eat it.
When I tell her about a new job prospect to be optimistic shell say shit like "Why bother, you'll just hate it or quit" or "you can't handle doing something like that". I literally get 0.00% positive reinforcement or support from her.
She takes high dose amphetamines everyday and drinks wine at night and they both turn her into a lunatic asshole with no enhancement or inhibition. She frequently treats me like shit over nothing and then will leave me an apology note the next day but goes back to the same shit a few hours later. -
2019-11-26 at 7:56 PM UTC
Originally posted by Solstice If you want to call it that. It's mainly me constantly doing things for her and the household followed by getting roasted for something like not having socks on at home or deciding to not need a jacket leaving the house.
We were making pasta a week or so ago and I went to drain the water by grabbing the side pot handles which weren't hot since their rubber, she told me to wear oven mitts because it was hot and I said "no it's not, look" and lifted the pot of water/pasta with my bare hands on the grips and held it there and she screamed "YOURE A FUCKING ASSHOLE" and didn't talk to me for a whole day. I usually cook dinner and have it all ready when she gets home from work and I do all the dishes afterwards also and she will scream at me that I'm running the water too long and should be able to wash them faster, regardless of the fact I bought the meal, cooked it, and cleaned up and didn't ask her to do anything but sit there and eat it.
When I tell her about a new job prospect to be optimistic shell say shit like "Why bother, you'll just hate it or quit" or "you can't handle doing something like that". I literally get 0.00% positive reinforcement or support from her.
She takes high dose amphetamines everyday and drinks wine at night and they both turn her into a lunatic asshole with no enhancement or inhibition. She frequently treats me like shit over nothing and then will leave me an apology note the next day but goes back to the same shit a few hours later.
That sucks! Didnt read lol
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2019-11-26 at 7:59 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo It seems like the religious stuff is onset by AA/his recovery from alcoholism. My father was also an alcoholic for many years but he had been in my life during this time and I fostered many resentments towards him that didn't subside when he got sober. (He didn't get sober through AA though, actually therapy, music, lifestyle and depression medication) It sounds like your father is grateful to God for his sobriety and is getting a new perspective on life. It's hard to live a transformative life if you're shutting a seed you don't even know out. I'm pretty well versed in AA/NA literature so I'm sure he'd view being in your life as one of the ""gifts of recovery" but since recovery types are self centered people he's likely told someone in the program about you, who in turn told him to tread very carefully, especially since you also have substance abuse issues.
I'm sure like many absentee fathers he's lived very selfishly and immaturely for a long time and is just realizing the err of his ways now. Hate to say it but he's probably not "strong" enough to take on the emotional burden of having you in his life in a big way right now. Maybe you have to be the bigger person and just occasionally message him "hey hope you're having a good day" or "I played catch with a tree stump today, sure wish there was someone else there" just so he knows you're still there. He knew you were there for a long time (most likely) and did a good job of keeping you out of his mind. If you let him know he can't do that anymore he'll have to "man up" and deal with it. Having a brother (as well as a mutual friend IIRC) makes things easier. I just suggest you keep the dialogue open, let him know you'll reciprocate and eventually things will become clearer
But I don't really know either of you, that just seems most likely to me
I was the bigger man for establishing contact. I was the bigger man for meeting him on good terms, traveling to and attending his meeting to do so, and offering a total acceptance of him and burying all my grudges and ill will towards him. I'm not going to keep trying to force the relationship for any lame excuses like the one you said. AA or not, religion or not, be abandoned a child for 32 years for shit reasons and most people wouldn't even go locating that person let alone give them a free pass on their bullshit and a clean slate. I refuse to believe for one second that I am in the wrong for this situation when I can't even get a text back after a whole month. Ammends are a big part of AA and he talks a big game about following the steps and the fact he doesn't feel the need to reach out to me for ammends, knowing I've fully forgiven him, tells me he is a fraud in that regard. He's not making a "fearless moral inventory" as they say.
I no longer have interest in him if he's just white knuckling life through AA and church with no concern for the outside world or his actions. I'm willing to come over halfway on this, hell I came like 80% but he and the brother act like the other 20% on their end is just asking way too much. I don't need people like that in my life blood or not. -
2019-11-26 at 8:02 PM UTC
Originally posted by Solstice If you want to call it that. It's mainly me constantly doing things for her and the household followed by getting roasted for something like not having socks on at home or deciding to not need a jacket leaving the house.
We were making pasta a week or so ago and I went to drain the water by grabbing the side pot handles which weren't hot since their rubber, she told me to wear oven mitts because it was hot and I said "no it's not, look" and lifted the pot of water/pasta with my bare hands on the grips and held it there and she screamed "YOURE A FUCKING ASSHOLE" and didn't talk to me for a whole day. I usually cook dinner and have it all ready when she gets home from work and I do all the dishes afterwards also and she will scream at me that I'm running the water too long and should be able to wash them faster, regardless of the fact I bought the meal, cooked it, and cleaned up and didn't ask her to do anything but sit there and eat it.
When I tell her about a new job prospect to be optimistic shell say shit like "Why bother, you'll just hate it or quit" or "you can't handle doing something like that". I literally get 0.00% positive reinforcement or support from her.
She takes high dose amphetamines everyday and drinks wine at night and they both turn her into a lunatic asshole with no enhancement or inhibition. She frequently treats me like shit over nothing and then will leave me an apology note the next day but goes back to the same shit a few hours later.
I never encountered anything near as extreme, but I know the sort of behaviour you're on about.
I always wonder just what the fuck is the motivation? -
2019-11-26 at 8:02 PM UTC
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2019-11-26 at 8:09 PM UTC
Originally posted by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country I never encountered anything near as extreme, but I know the sort of behaviour you're on about.
I always wonder just what the fuck is the motivation?
You mean the reason for treating your son that way? Selfishness, disdain for me, regret that I didn't go to a top college with no money and I'm not flying her out to exotic vacations and shit at age 32. She does nothing but compare people to others and tears them down that way. I don't think she ever wanted a kid and resents me for it, she was just a lonely and bullied woman who was desperate for affection and got knocked up by a scummy alcoholic partner who ran before his nut dried and I'm an easy target because any time I try to stand up for myself, even calmly and rationally, is met with her threating to evict me and screaming "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE" when I'm paying half the mortgage and probably buy more of our food then she does. I guilt myself into staying because it's convenient and I worry about her being alone since she has no one else really and rheumatoid arthritis and spinal problems and struggles to put up a lightbulb or vaccuum the floor without huffing and puffing and acting like a martyr for it. I have a lot of guilt over her since she raised me as a single mother and didn't do a terrible job early on. It would be a tolerable roomate situation if you didn't hate my guts.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-11-26 at 8:19 PM UTC
Originally posted by Solstice I was the bigger man for establishing contact. I was the bigger man for meeting him on good terms, traveling to and attending his meeting to do so, and offering a total acceptance of him and burying all my grudges and ill will towards him. I'm not going to keep trying to force the relationship for any lame excuses like the one you said. AA or not, religion or not, be abandoned a child for 32 years for shit reasons and most people wouldn't even go locating that person let alone give them a free pass on their bullshit and a clean slate. I refuse to believe for one second that I am in the wrong for this situation when I can't even get a text back after a whole month. Ammends are a big part of AA and he talks a big game about following the steps and the fact he doesn't feel the need to reach out to me for ammends, knowing I've fully forgiven him, tells me he is a fraud in that regard. He's not making a "fearless moral inventory" as they say.
I no longer have interest in him if he's just white knuckling life through AA and church with no concern for the outside world or his actions. I'm willing to come over halfway on this, hell I came like 80% but he and the brother act like the other 20% on their end is just asking way too much. I don't need people like that in my life blood or not.
I agree with all the "bigger man" stuff, I was saying was keep the lines of communication open because it seems like your papi is trying to grow up right now. If you shut him out you're only reciprocating the bad feelings he caused you by not being there. Hopefully he comes to his senses but many don't. My father has a daughter (and I have a half sister) thousands of miles away he has no relationship with. It doesn't seem like you've forgiven your father either and if you're honest with yourself I don't think you'll find that either. It doesn't seem like your father is strong enough to deal with you right now (as I said) so just allow there to be ground for that to happen someday and hope that it does. If he knows you're open and the onus is on him, you've done all you can do. It wouldn't hurt to text him every now and then. My GF goes through the same thing with her family. She hasn't seen her father in almost 10 years (a trip to a hooters where he did cocaine in the bathroom and hit on the waitresses in front of his 12 year old daughter and his gf) but they'll talk every now and then, then argue and not speak for months. I'm just the touchy feely faggot who thinks things can grow if both parties want it to because I don't want my dad to die anymore.
Basically just don't block him out and let him know you're thinking about him sometimes, that's really all you can do. If he's still too much of a bitch to do anything then I'm sorry to hear that and you have every right to show up to AA meetings and heckle him when he tries to talk his bullshit -
2019-11-26 at 8:22 PM UTCAgain, your absentee father guilt is showing Sudo.
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2019-11-26 at 9:08 PM UTCI dont know how much longer I can stay sober for. Everything bores me and Im bored almost 24/7, to the point where I give up on any activity after 5 minutes and just lay down taking pictures of myself instead and stare into space. I literally dont have enough energy to do ANYTHING including brushing my teeth and dont even want to because im that lazy. How the fuck is being so low functioning as a human even possible
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2019-11-26 at 9:09 PM UTCEvery day is just watching tge clock until its time to go to sleep and then repeat
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2019-11-26 at 9:09 PM UTC
Originally posted by Rrr I dont know how much longer I can stay sober for. Everything bores me and Im bored almost 24/7, to the point where I give up on any activity after 5 minutes and just lay down taking pictures of myself instead and stare into space. I literally dont have enough energy to do ANYTHING including brushing my teeth and dont even want to because im that lazy. How the fuck is being so low functioning as a human even possible
Go for a jog and eat an apple. -
2019-11-26 at 9:10 PM UTCI might be the laziest person ever
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2019-11-26 at 9:11 PM UTC
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2019-11-26 at 9:19 PM UTCYou are boring so you're a boring input in your boring surroundings
Be less boring and actually do something. Go outside you stupid bitch or forever remain a stupid boring bitch -
2019-11-26 at 9:20 PM UTCWatchong how little I do on a daily basis would fucking scare you
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2019-11-26 at 9:27 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo You are boring so you're a boring input in your boring surroundings
Be less boring and actually do something. Go outside you stupid bitch or forever remain a stupid boring bitch
I texted him on facebook that he has to do things in order to make friends and he said
"but I hate doing things, I would have to force myself"
Then I said, "yeah that's exactly my point. Will you do that?"
And he said "Probably not"
Then I stopped talking to him about his life because there's no reason to do so until he changes his mind and absolutely nothing will ever change until he does.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-11-26 at 9:30 PM UTC
Originally posted by DietPiano I texted him on facebook that he has to do things in order to make friends and he said
"but I hate doing things, I would have to force myself"
Then I said, "yeah that's exactly my point. Will you do that?"
And he said "Probably not"
Then I stopped talking to him about his life because there's no reason to do so until he changes his mind and absolutely nothing will ever change until he does.
I thought you were familiar with the difference between major depressive disorder and sheer laziness. -
2019-11-26 at 9:30 PM UTCGgg
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2019-11-26 at 9:31 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo I agree with all the "bigger man" stuff, I was saying was keep the lines of communication open because it seems like your papi is trying to grow up right now. If you shut him out you're only reciprocating the bad feelings he caused you by not being there. Hopefully he comes to his senses but many don't. My father has a daughter (and I have a half sister) thousands of miles away he has no relationship with. It doesn't seem like you've forgiven your father either and if you're honest with yourself I don't think you'll find that either. It doesn't seem like your father is strong enough to deal with you right now (as I said) so just allow there to be ground for that to happen someday and hope that it does. If he knows you're open and the onus is on him, you've done all you can do. It wouldn't hurt to text him every now and then. My GF goes through the same thing with her family. She hasn't seen her father in almost 10 years (a trip to a hooters where he did cocaine in the bathroom and hit on the waitresses in front of his 12 year old daughter and his gf) but they'll talk every now and then, then argue and not speak for months. I'm just the touchy feely faggot who thinks things can grow if both parties want it to because I don't want my dad to die anymore.
Basically just don't block him out and let him know you're thinking about him sometimes, that's really all you can do. If he's still too much of a bitch to do anything then I'm sorry to hear that and you have every right to show up to AA meetings and heckle him when he tries to talk his bullshit
The lines of communication are open. They're friends with me on Facebook and both have my number. They don't message me ever, and I'm not going to go chasing someone that shows zero interest.
I've forgiven him for the absentee father stuff, truly I have, but the fact he seems to not give two shits to make a move (ie text me once a month) makes me feel like the feeling of interest isnt mutual so why waste his time or mine? Yeah, I'm a bit salty that I stuck my neck out and basically got "have you found Jesus?" and "how long are you sober for?" as among the first few sentences out of his mouth. After than total disconnect.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
