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  1. Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN We both agreed that a girl was about to kick our ass.

    She had at least 100 pounds on us, and was FURIOUS. I don't think either of us had the balls to punch a fat woman at the time, so we both mutually knew if we stuck around for one of us to get grabbed, they'd be getting their shit kicked in by a fat woman. Some battles are only truly won through retreats.
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  2. You can grab me by the pussy any time mrao ;3c
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  3. Poast Houston
    Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN This guy once drove us out of town to his house. Lended Poast a DVD, then drove right by us leaving Poast and I to walk a hella long ways. Poast eventually returned the movie but not before he wrote nigger all over the actual DVD.

    You forgot to mention we rented all the faces of death and bum fights videos on his video rental account because we knew his name and password, then never returned them. He called us up bitching about his late charges weeks later, but ultimately just said “this needs to stop.” Sometime later at skool I gave his original thrashed DVD back just to spite him for leaving us behind. It was in the case, but the disk itself was scratched to shit and dripping with ink. He ditched us far from home cause he was trying to impress his fat and gross girlfriend. Been there, but fuck him. I remember we were hitch hiking home and a guy pulled over and said he only had room for one. We looked at each other for one last goodbye before I climbed into the farm truck, fully prepared to be abducted and murdered. I really took one for the team that day.
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  4. Originally posted by Poast Stuff

    Dude, no wonder OMG's a cuck. He's been battered and treated like shit for years by you.
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  5. Poast Houston
    No way, I’m the only person left who still cares about OMG. Matter of fact, he set me up for a big fall that day and I still forgave him. Besides, you only ever get him bacon vodka for his birthday. Sure, you make a sweet custom label every year, but you also infuse the batches with rare decaying animal parts. All because you know he’ll get desperate and drink the stuff. I’m not like that so I don’t get him anything. Nothing is always better than something cruel. And I’m man enough to know when the only true victory is retreat.
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  6. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Poast I don’t get him anything. Nothing is always better than something cruel. And I’m man enough to know when the only true victory is retreat.

    That's a great line. And I remember that last look as we were hitch hiking. The look was, "Well.... I might get raped and murdered but it beats walking all day."
  7. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Here's the last batch of Bacon Vodka:

    *Edited*
  8. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    And I just looked. This thread is getting really long.
  9. Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    i want a LOLCAT fuck u
  10. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Grylls i want a LOLCAT fuck u

    Only because you asked nicely.

  11. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by CASPER I feel very safe here. Reminds me of autumn mornings before school when Id stretch my adolescent scrotum over the toaster coils to ward off the chill while Auntie James made buttermilk biscuits and sang songs about being felched by Matt Lauer.

    What an action packed post
  12. Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN I have a story:

    One time MyMomIsDead and I were screwing around killing the day as teenagers. Walking through the mall, causing ruckus probably. Found a Rosie O'Donnel book in the dollar store and I was in my, 'Random is funny' phase. So I bought it.

    We got bored and decided to hit up the cemetery. As a couple of retards are want to do, we thought trying to punch the book into a memorial statue, brass army guys face was funny. I was going to give it to a buddy of mine. This guy once drove us out of town to his house. Lended Poast a DVD, then drove right by us leaving Poast and I to walk a hella long ways. Poast eventually returned the movie but not before he wrote nigger all over the actual DVD.

    So anyways, WifeDead and I are just taking turns punching this Rosie book into a memorial and some lady, probably visiting a dead loved one sees us. She screams something I don't remember but it was so fierce and intense we both ran like little bitches. WifeDead knew the back way out over a fence because Poast used to live behind the cemetery. We both agreed that a girl was about to kick our ass.

    The scream was literally voracious. Good times

    momdead and wifedead not the same person ?
  13. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny momdead and wifedead not the same person ?

    They're the same person. Kids had a rough past. Probably why the faggot is taking out on me. Used to be my mom is dead but he had to update it.It's honestly fucking brutal.
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  14. Poast Houston
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hotIAHwBrcs
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  15. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Poast https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hotIAHwBrcs

    I knew someone was going to go through the videos. I'm still proud of that one. I was fat as fuck.
  16. Poast Houston
    Can I get a custom young guns Emilio lolcat?
  17. OMGPLZUNBAN Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Poast Can I get a custom young guns Emilio lolcat?

    I guess so. Give me my rappel hook WifeDead gave me.

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  18. Originally posted by Poast All because you know he’ll get desperate and drink the stuff.

    I never gave him anything I wasn't willing to take a shot of first. I like reminding that lowlife loser that someone still thinks about him and kinda cares.
  19. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood Hotkinkyjo is my go to girl for anal fisting when I'm fucked on meth she can fit both hands up there

    That's a real bitch you want when the cops pull you over with a kilo. What kilo

    The one we are specifically going to get that girl checked out for after viewing you lodging it up her ass through your back window while we had the spotlight on you guises.
  20. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    did your wife really die? I remember you posted pictures together and looked like a good couple. She was busty with black hair and glasses and was beside you in a matching Halloween costume. If she's dead I'm sorry for your loss and hope you've found some solace
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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