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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition

  1. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Tomorrow is my 26th birthday. I'm trying to get a new job at a nursing home. Get bent, faggots.

    I see how it is.

    I seriously thought I mentioned you. Sorry. You were on mymind though. Come here, nigger, you need a hug. Good luck on your quest for a new job. I just got anew one after my seasonal one let me go. It was for the best. Soon Im going to be making way more money doing something I halfway enjoy. Got a job at a diner, sorta like IHOP right off the interatate as a waitress. You shpuld give me a call or shoot mw a text sometime, Ill PM youmy # aince its changed since we last spoke.
  2. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Also, happy birthday, faggot! My 27th birthday will be next month- not really looking forward to it though. Maybe this year Ill join the cool peopleclub adn die at 27, that be kinda awesome except I got a baby now.
  3. What do you think of my singing hydro?
  4. Also, happy birthday, faggot! My 27th birthday will be next month- not really looking forward to it though. Maybe this year Ill join the cool peopleclub adn die at 27, that be kinda awesome except I got a baby now.

    ​What day? We might be birthday buddies. Although I'm only guna be 25.....halfway to 50 :(
  5. SpatianHaigency Tuskegee Airman
    i turn 25 in 4 months i should probably start trying to accomplish something or other
  6. I'm technically "homeless" so that's my excuse for not achieving anything right now.
  7. Malice your singing is beautiful. Keep up the good work.
  8. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Meditative thoughts of the day:

    Life has its flaws. It's not a game without challenges.

    There is creation and life occurring all around us, we are never alone.

    Learn to properly meditate and do it while listening to gentle rain, behind a screen door, on a balcony, or porch, some place suitable. It is a very nice reprieve from negative emotional states, for when you feel you need to clear your mind, let go of stress or ruminating thoughts.

    I wonder if it would be enjoyable to wear goggles and swim trunks in an area where it rains during warm days, just laying on the ground looking up at the sky while on a psychedelic.

    And now I'm waiting for may, hyped but jesus that's a ways out

    I read the shipping date was late March. May have been pushed back, though. Did they give you May as an estimated date when you preordered? Woah, it says June now, they must really have been overwhelmed: https://shop.oculus.com/en-us/cart/

    Hmm, exclusive games, though. I don't like that, particularly with the prior stated commitment to open platforms, but I haven't read arguments from the other position to be certain.

    Price was really disappointing, way above what they had suggested before. Especially for people outside the US:
    >$914 Canadian without taxes, shipping, or border fees. I'm out.
    And it's without the Touch controllers.

    Fuck these niggers. I'd need therapy and to reverse my severe anhedonia and other symptoms of depression first to really enjoy it anyway, I'm waiting until the VR industry is much better developed. There's also the issue of content. I want to see what other products come out, how the price and amount of and quality of content change: http://www.digitaltrends.com/virtual-reality/oculus-rift-vs-htc-vive/

    Malice is the therapy going well.

    It hasn't started. Appointment with psych was rescheduled to later this month.

    Malice your singing is beautiful. Keep up the good work.

    Shut up, §m£ÂgØL, you know that was sploo. Fucking monkey boy.
  9. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    What would you do if you realized you had been blacking out, with large gaps in your memory of long periods during certain days, and by chance came across a pile of clothes with what looked like massive dried bloodstains hidden somewhere in your apartment in a place where normally you'd never look?
  10. Lanny Bird of Courage
    I read the shipping date was late March. May have been pushed back, though. Did they give you May as an estimated date when you preordered? Woah, it says June now, they must really have been overwhelmed: https://shop.oculus.com/en-us/cart/

    Yee, May is what they said. Hopeful for a production ramp up in light of heavy early sales but w/e, I can wait until may if I have to. Need a couple of months to get into the swing of 3D development anyway, depending on what the SDK is like I could imagine a lot of fun, pretty low hanging fruit.

    [quote[Hmm, exclusive games, though. I don't like that, particularly with the prior stated commitment to open platforms, but I haven't read arguments from the other position to be certain.

    I pretty much DGAF about the exclusive titles that had been announced. Enough games I like offer some level of VR support that I could really give or take the original content.

    Price was really disappointing, way above what they had suggested before. Especially for people outside the US:
    >$914 Canadian without taxes, shipping, or border fees. I'm out.
    And it's without the Touch controllers.

    Yeah, definitely steeper than rumor had it, without the touch controllers it's a bit disappointing but oh well, consoles that are far less technically interesting cost more on release day.

    What would you do if you realized you had been blacking out, with large gaps in your memory of long periods during certain days, and by chance came across a pile of clothes with what looked like massive dried bloodstains hidden somewhere in your apartment in a place where normally you'd never look?

    Report my findings to the police on the assumption it wasn't my blood. Whatever I might do in a blackout state, I'm still responsible for my actions then when in the lucid state. Like if you drink to blackout levels and drive then it may be inevitable that you crash (just as you may be a murderer in a fugue state regardless of your usual desires) but that doesn't make your impact any less real.
  11. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Lanny, contrary to what you may have heard, it is not hip to be square. The pleasures of conformity and importance of trends (social conventions) are not worth having an inner sense of self as dry as yours.
  12. SpatianHaigency Tuskegee Airman
    What would you do if you realized you had been blacking out, with large gaps in your memory of long periods during certain days, and by chance came across a pile of clothes with what looked like massive dried bloodstains hidden somewhere in your apartment in a place where normally you'd never look?
    wonder why i started eating benzos again.

    Didn't Totse close this day back in 2009 or did we already pass it? It was in January I'm pretty sure.
  13. You wouldn't believe how much hookers will charge when you ask them to shit on you
  14. hydromorphone victim of incest [insincerely conduce my paisley]
    Sploo, Ive heard dying animals that didnt sound as bad as that. §m£ÂgØL, stop being a faggot, nobody thinks its cute. Reject, my birthday is on the 16th of February. PoC... lmfao, my question is how the fuck do you find a prostitute who can just shit on demand in the first place? As for my jerb, its pretty cool. Everyone is a pothead. The one server who gave me a ride home today, she is on subutex. I pegged her in WDs my first day (stomach ache, needed to go to the pharmacy to get her script.. just I could tell she was withdrawaling) and shes on subutex. She can get roxis and used to shoot. Shes not happy about being on the subutex. She also wants to buy my kpins. She lives near me and is gonna be good for rides to work/home. Ive found the drug hub of the county I live in. Also there is a girl getting fired today, she was a no call, no show like every week (dont know how people cant even bother to call, if I no call, no show, thats essentially me quitting) so thatll be more hours for me. Also, this other server used to live down south where I am from and is best friends with the daughter of this old couple I am good friends with down there- Small world. So far this job is pretty cool.
  15. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Lanny, contrary to what you may have heard, it is not hip to be square. The pleasures of conformity and importance of trends (social conventions) are not worth having an inner sense of self as dry as yours.

    haters gonna hate.

    I wish we had a term for people who think there's a need for population control but aren't antinatalists a priori. Like a name for the position that recognizes the necessity and desirability of a continued human population but who reject the "anything goes" 2.5 children per family approach we seem to default to. It's like how we largely talk about strong and weak primitivists as being the same group despite widely divergent beliefs and policy, we generally have very poor language for talking about positions that advocate limited skepticism. I mention this because I've been browsing r/childfree and r/antinatalism out of some weird kind of voyeurism lately. I think it's great these people have a place to talk and agree with a lot of what they're saying but damn, they're pretty sorry sons of bitches at the same time.
  16. SpatianHaigency Tuskegee Airman
    at my new job they already gave me keys to place i don't know what they're thinking. i have to go in tomorrow and load up one of the delivery trucks i'm going to be the only person there hope I don't fuck anything up
  17. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Christ, this chapter in my life is fucking traumatic. What a dark dark fucking place I fell into... I did an unbelievable amount of damage to myself and my life, so many things added up over a lifetime that led to this... This is such a fucked up position to be in.

    Why does the human race need to continue to exist other than to fulfill your own selfish desires? Wrote a long related rant here: http://niggasin.space/forum/spurious-generalities/51553-i-dont-wanna-have-a-kid-cause-what-if-it-died-or-something?p=53361#post53361

    I suppose a counterargument could be one that I've made before for why the creation of AI/the singularity should be our ultimate goal. If intelligence can roughly be described as the ability to deal with complexity and we base our decisions on the knowledge we have along with utilizing our intelligence, maximizing our abilities increases our chances of coming to a correct choice. So the maximal utility, or even things we aren't capable of comprehending in our current state, the "correct"/optimal choice of action, would be achieved, more than compensating for the arguable immorality of bringing life into existence, which could be incorrect. Damn, I wanted an excuse to hate mothers, though, see parents as immoral, particularly the women. Although, even in that case, the vast majority still shouldn't be having children, at least in the manner they generally do so. Ideally they would be engaging in rational eugenics, choosing the optimal sperm and egg from available donors, if they were suitable for providing a proper environment for that child.

    Although, what if the AI we create is an anti-natalist and punishes us for bringing it into existence t fulfill our selfish desires, having to grapple with concepts I describe above? Related to a possible solution I thought of for the Fermi paradox, that AIs/singularities essentially commit "suicide", so societies don't advance beyond that point, it being unlikely that they achieve the capacity for interstellar travel beforehand.

    Lanny, one of the things I hate most about (severe) depression are the cognitive effects:



    Atrophy as well, which NSI-189 targets.

    http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/symptoms/con-20032977

    Severe anergia. What do I have to be tired of? Nothing. It's not having the energy to live your life. It's not laziness, there's no joy or relaxation in this. I literally never feel relaxed, even before the breakdown I mentioned having a constant feeling that I should be doing something else, a feeling of unease, being unable to just relax and enjoy the moment. There isn't a lac of stress, it's unrelenting from the thoughts that are constantly haunting you, the state you're in. Along with the effects on concentration, it robs you of the flow state, which may be crucial for happiness (haven't researched this, you know I don't like accepting things without verification, at least reading some critiques first). Slowed thinking, a blank mind as well. You lose interest in everything, lose the ability to experience joy, positive emotions, emotions in general. How do you have the drive to do anything in this state? Robbed of energy, unable to utilize more than a fraction of your potential, feeling no pleasure/reward from anything, everything feels hopeless, ultimately futile and pointless. The lack of feeling to connection to anything, to other people, how it drains the world of meaning, emotional coloring; it feels devoid of light, life warmth. It's such a horrible way for everything to feel.

    Just saying this because I want you to understand why I haven't been and can't be a good conversational partner now and for the foreseeable future. The damage was being done from the start of my life, but I realized I had really been in a depressive spiral beginning the last 5 years, I was just so out of touch with my emotions and hadn't come to terms with everything, so I overlooked it. Even before that, I've probably always been depressed/melancholy to some extent. It's a shame things couldn't have been different.
  18. Christ, this chapter in my life is fucking traumatic. What a dark dark fucking place I fell into… I did an unbelievable amount of damage to myself and my life, so many things added up over a lifetime that led to this… This is such a fucked up position to be in.

    Why does the human race need to continue to exist other than to fulfill your own selfish desires? Wrote a long related rant here: http://niggasin.space/forum/spurious-generalities/51553-i-dont-wanna-have-a-kid-cause-what-if-it-died-or-something?p=53361#post53361

    I suppose a counterargument could be one that I've made before for why the creation of AI/the singularity should be our ultimate goal. If intelligence can roughly be described as the ability to deal with complexity and we base our decisions on the knowledge we have along with utilizing our intelligence, maximizing our abilities increases our chances of coming to a correct choice. So the maximal utility, or even things we aren't capable of comprehending in our current state, the "correct"/optimal choice of action, would be achieved, more than compensating for the arguable immorality of bringing life into existence, which could be incorrect. Damn, I wanted an excuse to hate mothers, though, see parents as immoral, particularly the women. Although, even in that case, the vast majority still shouldn't be having children, at least in the manner they generally do so. Ideally they would be engaging in rational eugenics, choosing the optimal sperm and egg from available donors, if they were suitable for providing a proper environment for that child.

    Although, what if the AI we create is an anti-natalist and punishes us for bringing it into existence t fulfill our selfish desires, having to grapple with concepts I describe above? Related to a possible solution I thought of for the Fermi paradox, that AIs/singularities essentially commit "suicide", so societies don't advance beyond that point, it being unlikely that they achieve the capacity for interstellar travel beforehand.

    Lanny, one of the things I hate most about (severe) depression are the cognitive effects:



    Atrophy as well, which NSI-189 targets.

    http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/symptoms/con-20032977

    Severe anergia. What do I have to be tired of? Nothing. It's not having the energy to live your life. It's not laziness, there's no joy or relaxation in this. I literally never feel relaxed, even before the breakdown I mentioned having a constant feeling that I should be doing something else, a feeling of unease, being unable to just relax and enjoy the moment. There isn't a lac of stress, it's unrelenting from the thoughts that are constantly haunting you, the state you're in. Along with the effects on concentration, it robs you of the flow state, which may be crucial for happiness (haven't researched this, you know I don't like accepting things without verification, at least reading some critiques first). Slowed thinking, a blank mind as well. You lose interest in everything, lose the ability to experience joy, positive emotions, emotions in general. How do you have the drive to do anything in this state? Robbed of energy, unable to utilize more than a fraction of your potential, feeling no pleasure/reward from anything, everything feels hopeless, ultimately futile and pointless. The lack of feeling to connection to anything, to other people, how it drains the world of meaning, emotional coloring; it feels devoid of light, life warmth. It's such a horrible way for everything to feel.

    Just saying this because I want you to understand why I haven't been and can't be a good conversational partner now and for the foreseeable future. The damage was being done from the start of my life, but I realized I had really been in a depressive spiral beginning the last 5 years, I was just so out of touch with my emotions and hadn't come to terms with everything, so I overlooked it. Even before that, I've probably always been depressed/melancholy to some extent. It's a shame things couldn't have been different.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24526455
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12649371
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17848867
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22401777
  19. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Although, what if the AI we create is an anti-natalist and punishes us for bringing it into existence t fulfill our selfish desires, having to grapple with concepts I describe above?

    Now that's an interesting question, although my response is probably predictable enough to not be worth writing I will admit I have a secret fantasy of somehow building the perfect general AI, having it tell me that the human species is net harmful now that sufficient AI has been created, and then committing suicide on that reasoning. To both create your own god and then sacrifice yourself to it would be quite a thing. I guess that's just the old scientism acting up again but it's a charming idea regardless.
  20. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    I don't see why sacrifice would likely be preferable to assimilation. Then again, you'd have to grapple with questions of consciousness.

    One idea I've had is to create a dead man's switch that is triggered if the human race is (attempted to be) exterminated. Greatly raise the cost of exterminating humans so that assimilating if preferable, even if it's simply done on an amoral basis, an efficiency calculation. There's also the risk factor. You could set up the DMS so that there's an unknown risk, possibly enough to take out the whole earth, or at least do a massive amount of damage. You wouldn't need one central device, you could have multiple, and also have it done in a way that would make it very unlikely or costly for it to find it, even if it was somehow able to tap into great pools of information, possibly even human minds. This could be a solution to the risks of AI some are concerned about.

    Then again, there's the question of how we could concretely confirm that people, their essence, if there could be said to be such a thing, was actually being assimilated. There's also the possibility that as a response it could put us into some sort of virtual prison or hell, although that seems to be petty. Then there's the question of what it would actually be like to be a singular being. Would it be awareness of everything at once in a way, or would it be segmented, with independent factors. Like, imagine how shitty it would be if somehow your consciousness ended up being centered around a sector dedicated to a mundane parochial repetitive task.

    Scary as shit. What if AIs aren't concerned with, don't have a need for pleasure like we do, and the experience is just absolutely cold, mechanical, centered on efficiency; as opposed to a heavenly scenario similar to a continuation of the line of thought in The Hedonistic Imperative. The finality of death and permanent cessation of consciousness, or existence, or AI and things we likely can't even imagine or predict. Either one is scary as hell. At least with death you may have an eternal reprieve, as a part of AI, you may drag on through a sort of hell until the bitter end of the universe simply out of strict adherence to rationality. "The (over)mind is willing, and the flesh is no longer weak."

    I used to think about shit like this when I was ruminating on my idea for cryogenic suicide, questioning whether that was even what I wanted, whether it would ultimately make any real difference.

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