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The Retarded Thread: Malice Metro Edition

  1. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    muh bitch took benzos with her ratchet friend and stole clothes so I made her cry and reevaluate her life then fucked her stupid and send her home now I'm eating leftover piri piri chicken that's actually gotten spicier. I fucking feel like I'm stuck in a lane, the same way everyone else is, just mine has a predictable outcome. I dreamed I went back to prison last night. I need something to focus my time on that's fulfilling besides the temporary void filled by vapid relationships, vapid friendships and the vapid pursuit of selfish and empty things. A guy I know and used to be friends with who had the same name as me and another similar characteristic died the other day, likely heart failure from opiates coupled with his obesity. I don't know how I feel about this and don't know if I should go to the funeral. eid mubarak. I feel I'm doing something wrong but I'm not sure what
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. I wish I had my 15 year old girlfriend back
  3. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by DietYellow I wish I had my 15 year old girlfriend back

    What's stopping you?
  4. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by mmQ Said no one ever

    Oh except memememe withme he likes eating pussy juice I forgot about him
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    I love eating pussy but only when its reasonably clean or fresh out the shower is my favorite. And i only like it as a vector by which cute cum faces are created. They look all cute and helpless and their eyes all shit tight like they just ate a lemon warhead. And when they grab at your head and your their fingers through your hair.

    Had a friend that would have her leg start shaking violently like a dog being scratched when she was almost ready to blow. It was a like a cell phone on vibrate, skating across a table. It was hard to stay in there without getting kneed in the throat.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. Common De-mominator African Astronaut
    I'm gonna:

    - Buy some weed
    - Use it to press rosin and squeeze out like 90% of the THC for dabs
    - Spray synthetic cannabinoid liquid on depleted herbs and smoke them.
  7. Common De-mominator African Astronaut
    Originally posted by CASPER I love eating pussy but only when its reasonably clean or fresh out the shower is my favorite. And i only like it as a vector by which cute cum faces are created. They look all cute and helpless and their eyes all shit tight like they just ate a lemon warhead. And when they grab at your head and your their fingers through your hair.

    Had a friend that would have her leg start shaking violently like a dog being scratched when she was almost ready to blow. It was a like a cell phone on vibrate, skating across a table. It was hard to stay in there without getting kneed in the throat.

    My girlfriend aggressively spikes her pelvis into my forehead and grinds her clit into my face, impossible to keep a steady pace with the ridiculous bucking so I have to grab her ass and thighs and hold her down.
  8. Originally posted by mmQ What's stopping you?

    she got older
  9. Narc Naturally Camouflaged [connect my yokel-like scolytidae]
    Originally posted by DietYellow I nuttapped a nigger with my car when trying to turn right at a stoplight. He came out of nowhere and kind of boosted himself off the hood as I braked the fuck. He come over to the winow and throw up a peace sign, and I throw one back at him and start feeling bad. Then I come back the other way after picking up someone else's food, and he runs up to my car at the same stoplight and I apologize and he wants to spray my windows for a couple bucks. I let him pretend to wipe my windows for 5 seconds and I give him a $5, Rolling my eyes the second after I roll my window up.

    I saw the towel the first time but I wasn't sure, so he was either running up to me to wipe em off the first time, or else he ran out on purpose. Basically, I got bamboozled out of 5 bucks and I wish I would have just run the nigga' over.

    never understood why you'd pay somebody to do what your screen wipers do. unless your wipers are broken, i guess, but most peoples aren't tho.


    .
  10. Narc Naturally Camouflaged [connect my yokel-like scolytidae]
    Originally posted by mmQ I like having sex with female turtles

    that's sexist


    .
  11. i wish i still had a gf that took benzos and did stupid shit. stealing clothes is nothin, u should be grateful u prick
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. Narc Naturally Camouflaged [connect my yokel-like scolytidae]
    Originally posted by mmQ Oh except memememe withme he likes eating pussy juice I forgot about him

    damn straight


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  13. gave the homie a k
    told em MAKE EM SAY UHH MAKE EM SAY AYE
  14. CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    Originally posted by OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III i wish i still had a gf that took benzos and did stupid shit. stealing clothes is nothin, u should be grateful u prick

    Lol this. Just count your lucky stars that she's not getting together with her "putas" to set a hoe's car on fire bc she was "talkin mad reckless on IG". Shoplifting is like level 3 of 10 on the Crazy Cunt Scale of Inappropriate Behavior (CCSIB)
  15. Originally posted by CASPER Lol this. Just count your lucky stars that she's not getting together with her "putas" to set a hoe's car on fire bc she was "talkin mad reckless on IG". Shoplifting is like level 3 of 10 on the Crazy Cunt Scale of Inappropriate Behavior (CCSIB)

    sounds kinda fun tbh
  16. CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    Yeah but not when you have to show up to court every couple of weeks for a year, and shell out $150 on new Court Clothes bc youre too fat for the ones you wore at your last trial a couple years ago.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  17. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by CASPER Lol this. Just count your lucky stars that she's not getting together with her "putas" to set a hoe's car on fire bc she was "talkin mad reckless on IG". Shoplifting is like level 3 of 10 on the Crazy Cunt Scale of Inappropriate Behavior (CCSIB)

    she's literally part ree ree Rican and yes, given her background burning a car seems a little impersonal. Shed more likely show up to the girls work and try to fight her over the counter grabbing anything she can use as a weapon. She was once sent to a closed youth facility for strangling a girl with a hair straightener
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. she started it
  19. CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
    Originally posted by Sudo she's literally part ree ree Rican and yes, given her background burning a car seems a little impersonal. Shed more likely show up to the girls work and try to fight her over the counter grabbing anything she can use as a weapon. She was once sent to a closed youth facility for strangling a girl with a hair straightener

    This also sounds familiar

    When a bitch starts having her bitches hold her earrings and hairpiece, you know its going down.

    Whats with the rhythmic slapping/clapping into the palm though? Ive only seen this in the last 10-15 years from the hoodrat population.
  20. Common De-mominator African Astronaut
    Imma prolly kill myself soon

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