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The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
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2015-08-29 at 2:03 AM UTChttp://thesmokinggun.com/buster/dome...battery-562934
There has been a potato salad attack reported in Florida.
Days after a Sunshine State resident was nabbed for attacking his girlfriend with a plate of sauerkraut, a Bradenton man is facing a domestic battery charge for allegedly pelting his mother with potato salad during a confrontation in their home. Jonathan Smith, 34, was arrested Saturday evening after his mother Jennifer told cops that he attacked her as she sat down to eat dinner (potato salad and chicken) in the living room.
“Jonathan grabbed a hand full of potato salad and threw it,†striking his mother in the face, reported cops, who noted that the woman had “food all over her and in her hair†when they arrived at the residence. Though his mother yelled for him to stop, Smith “continued to throw food at his mother,†according to a probable cause affidavit.
After pelting his mother with grub, Smith allegedly pushed her to the ground, pulled her across the floor by her legs, and “spitted on her.†Seen at left, Smith–who works as a pallet builder–fled the home on his bicycle when his mother threatened to call 911. He was subsequently arrested blocks from the residence by a cop who noted that the suspect “appeared to be intoxicated.â€
In addition to the misdemeanor battery count, Smith–who is being held in the county jail–is also facing a probation violation charge stemming from a prior felony conviction. He is scheduled for a September 24 court appearance.
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2015-08-29 at 5:36 AM UTC
On a positive note, I'm down to 289lbs now. My blood pressure was 124/70 this morning. I've lost 26lbs since may1st. Next step is going to be getting into the gym to get my muscle mass toned better to help me burn the rest of this weight.
Since last year around this time I've lost around 50+lbs and blood presure went from mega bad to half as decent.
What've you been doing just eating at a caloric deficit? Keep in mind if you start working out hard (i'm assuming it's been a while) you'll be getting nice noob gainz and your weight loss might stall a bit due to added muscle.HSA- the capstar ran me 220$ for a kilo. Once I get it (if I do, he said I would though) if you all need any hit me up and Ill cut you a good deal. I have 13 dogs and 3 cats at the moment so it wont last forever but I plan to sell some to cover the cost of my next order. /QUOTE]
Cool I'll let you know. -
2015-08-29 at 1:13 PM UTCMalice is a psychopath.
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2015-08-29 at 1:43 PM UTC
Malice is a psychopath.
mmQ, what would you do if you woke up and realized that I had raped you while you were passed out, either due to your own consumption or because I had drugged you? -
2015-08-29 at 2:15 PM UTC
mmQ, what would you do if you woke up and realized that I had raped you while you were passed out, either due to your own consumption or because I had drugged you?
I hereby give you my expressed written consent to have sexual relations with me if we ever cross paths, whether I'm drugged, drunk, passed out, methed out, sober, or otherwise. Now you CAN'T rape me. XD -
2015-08-29 at 6:51 PM UTC
I hereby give you my expressed written consent to have sexual relations with me if we ever cross paths, whether I'm drugged, drunk, passed out, methed out, sober, or otherwise. Now you CAN'T rape me. XD
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2015-08-29 at 7:55 PM UTC
What've you been doing just eating at a caloric deficit? Keep in mind if you start working out hard (i'm assuming it's been a while) you'll be getting nice noob gainz and your weight loss might stall a bit due to added muscle.
Yeah, like 1500 calories a day. Lots of fiber and protein. Muscle weight would be fine with me just need to lower body fat%
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2015-08-29 at 11:52 PM UTC
So I went to the magistrate today to find out how exactly to kick mil out. I just have to type out a 30 day notice, keep a copy and hand her a copy. then if she dont leaveon day 31 I file eviction and pay 40.00 then if she dont leave on the 10the day after that I pay 10.00 more and a deputy comes and removes her.
could yall help me figure out what day to give it to her so day 31 and the other day where i go back falls on a week day?
Why do the dates have to fall on a weekday, if you need to be around to oversee it wouldn't a weekend work better?
In any case you just have to work it backwards right? So day 31 and 41 need to both be weekdays. Day 31 needs to fall on a monday, tuesday, or friday for 10 days later to also be a week day (10-7 is 3, wednesday and thursday will been the weekend 3 days, so it's M,T,F). Assuming you have to give notice on a weekday, if you file on the 2nd (the next tuesday to today, 3 days from now) day 31 will land on Friday, October 2nd and 10 days later will be October 12, a Monday.
If you give her notice this Monday instead of Tuesday you can file the eviction a day earlier (Thursday, October 1st) but assuming the deputy can't remove her on the Oct. 11 (a sunday) she ends up being forcibly evicted the same day. I'd try and give her the notice monday anyway just so you have an extra day of padding, but you've put up with her this long so one more day isn't the end of the world.its a shame that all this has to be on you. it's not even your mom. is your girl just being passive about the whole thing, or is she taking one side or the other?
She's kinda meh about it. She was on her moms side but her moms pattern of behavior and their arguments have shown that what I predicted (she wont work/will always be broke due to drinking) have made her pretty much stop my advancements of kicking her mom out.
Today while i was at a Dr. appt they went to eat and her mom was going to pay. Surprise her mom had blown all her money at the bar last ngiht and didnt know. My girl had to leave her and come wait for me to get home to give her money to go pay and gget her mom.
I keep money stashed these days in case shit goes south with me and my chick. Got caught without money when my ex wife left, I learned my lesson bout that shit.
So I've already given my two cents on the situation, I think your girl imposing her mom on you like this is fucked up but I do have some sympathy for her. I mean people change and anyone's mom is important to them even if they are shitty. My dad has some issues, he can't really take care of himself and god knows he pisses me off sometimes. He lives with my grandparents for the time being but they're obviously going to die before he does and at some point taking care of him is going to fall to me. I'm kinda terrified of that day because I mean he can drive me up the fucking wall but I still love the guy to death. It would be totally unfair for me to ask someone who isn't family to share that responsibility with me but like what could I do in a situation like that? If tomorrow my grandparents passed away I could either tell my girlfriend my dad's moving in or break up with her and both are really fucked. I couldn't just tell him to fuck off, he took care of me even when I was a horrible little shit and never complained once, it's just not an option.
So I guess I'm not trying to say you have a responsibility to put up with what sure as hell sounds like the mother in law from hell, god knows you don't deserve that. But it's worth having some sympathy for your girl. We'll forgive some crazy shit when it's family in questions. Most of us owe our lives to our parents, not just in the "they made us" sense but in 18 or so years of not only being protected from the literally lethal environment that the world is to children but also in the love and concern that even terrible human beings will show for their kids.
End of sappy rant I guess. Best of luck with the eviction process, if half of what you've said is true (not that I doubt any of it) you deserve to get to the end of this drama. -
2015-08-30 at 12:07 AM UTCMy mother is the devil and anyone who meets her eventually finds that out. She was poisoning my father and I before we left (had a series of dreams warning me someone in my life was doing this since I was like 4—5) and later after leaving and recovering we found out about life insurance policies she took out on me that my father was unaware of, noto mention she canceled her policy years before yet still had my dads policy paid up. There was some weird situations I wont go into since its so much that really confirms a lot of this. So to sum up.. I wouldnt piss on my mother if she was on fire. My dad on the other hand was the best. Sure he had faults like anybody, but he made up for it in so many ways. He was a really coolperson just to be around, even §m£ÂgØL can vouche for that.
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2015-08-30 at 1:27 AM UTC
My mother is the devil and anyone who meets her eventually finds that out. She was poisoning my father and I before we left (had a series of dreams warning me someone in my life was doing this since I was like 4—5) and later after leaving and recovering we found out about life insurance policies she took out on me that my father was unaware of, noto mention she canceled her policy years before yet still had my dads policy paid up. There was some weird situations I wont go into since its so much that really confirms a lot of this. So to sum up.. I wouldnt piss on my mother if she was on fire. My dad on the other hand was the best. Sure he had faults like anybody, but he made up for it in so many ways. He was a really coolperson just to be around, even §m£ÂgØL can vouche for that.
Hate to burst your bubble, but if your dad was really such a good guy why did he marry your mother and for fuck's sake have kids with her? Having children with a crazy bitch doesn't strike me as something a good guy would do. -
2015-08-30 at 1:42 AM UTC
Hate to burst your bubble, but if your dad was really such a good guy why did he marry your mother and for fuck's sake have kids with her? Having children with a crazy bitch doesn't strike me as something a good guy would do.
good guys need pussy, too
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2015-08-30 at 1:44 AM UTCMy mother is a good manipulator. He got kicked out at 18 because he refused to undergo another spinal tap, so he moved in with her. He never intended to have kidswith her, she "forgot" to take the pill is how I manifested into existence. Nobody is perfect and love has you do some weird shit, but as soon as she started attacking me, all bets were off. He was a loyal soul and really didnt see her true colors until the end. I see what you are saying but youd have to know my mother and father to know what Im talking about. He certainly wasnt perfect but as far as fathers go he was the best imo. He really lived for me to be happy and did so much to make that a reality. If I am half the parent my father was to me, my son will be lucky.
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2015-08-30 at 2:27 AM UTCFucking puppy that we took in broke his leg just now. Dont know how he did it but I gave him a dexamethasone shot and a naproxen.. he doesnt seem tobe in extreme pain so Im debating on giving him a piece of a perocet I got.. if it isnt one thing around here its another.
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2015-08-30 at 4:20 AM UTCI think you just have a fetish for stuffing your animals full of drugs.
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2015-08-30 at 6:53 AM UTCWould you argue if you were my dog? Maybe I go over board at some points, but at least they don't suffer in pain.
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2015-08-30 at 10:10 AM UTC
Would you argue if you were my dog? Maybe I go over board at some points, but at least they don't suffer in pain.
Acetominophen is poisonous to dogs, soif you have percs best not give them since if i recall percs have like 375/5/10 whatever APAP and oxy. -
2015-08-30 at 1:15 PM UTC
Acetominophen is poisonous to dogs, soif you have percs best not give them since if i recall percs have like 375/5/10 whatever APAP and oxy.
thats_the_point.exe -
2015-08-30 at 5:25 PM UTC
thats_the_point.exe
oic.png -
2015-08-30 at 5:25 PM UTC
Why do the dates have to fall on a weekday, if you need to be around to oversee it wouldn't a weekend work better?
In any case you just have to work it backwards right? So day 31 and 41 need to both be weekdays. Day 31 needs to fall on a monday, tuesday, or friday for 10 days later to also be a week day (10-7 is 3, wednesday and thursday will been the weekend 3 days, so it's M,T,F). Assuming you have to give notice on a weekday, if you file on the 2nd (the next tuesday to today, 3 days from now) day 31 will land on Friday, October 2nd and 10 days later will be October 12, a Monday.
If you give her notice this Monday instead of Tuesday you can file the eviction a day earlier (Thursday, October 1st) but assuming the deputy can't remove her on the Oct. 11 (a sunday) she ends up being forcibly evicted the same day. I'd try and give her the notice monday anyway just so you have an extra day of padding, but you've put up with her this long so one more day isn't the end of the world.
So I've already given my two cents on the situation, I think your girl imposing her mom on you like this is fucked up but I do have some sympathy for her. I mean people change and anyone's mom is important to them even if they are shitty. My dad has some issues, he can't really take care of himself and god knows he pisses me off sometimes. He lives with my grandparents for the time being but they're obviously going to die before he does and at some point taking care of him is going to fall to me. I'm kinda terrified of that day because I mean he can drive me up the fucking wall but I still love the guy to death. It would be totally unfair for me to ask someone who isn't family to share that responsibility with me but like what could I do in a situation like that? If tomorrow my grandparents passed away I could either tell my girlfriend my dad's moving in or break up with her and both are really fucked. I couldn't just tell him to fuck off, he took care of me even when I was a horrible little shit and never complained once, it's just not an option.
So I guess I'm not trying to say you have a responsibility to put up with what sure as hell sounds like the mother in law from hell, god knows you don't deserve that. But it's worth having some sympathy for your girl. We'll forgive some crazy shit when it's family in questions. Most of us owe our lives to our parents, not just in the "they made us" sense but in 18 or so years of not only being protected from the literally lethal environment that the world is to children but also in the love and concern that even terrible human beings will show for their kids.
End of sappy rant I guess. Best of luck with the eviction process, if half of what you've said is true (not that I doubt any of it) you deserve to get to the end of this drama.
Ok here's how I wrote it out
This is notice that effective 12:00AM September 1st 2015 you have 30 days to vacate the premises of XXX. Failure to leave by the end of this 30 day period will result in eviction proceedings being filed. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.
So on October 1st I can go pay the money to have her served the 10 day eviction notice. Now the constable has to make two attempts to serve her seprated by 48 hours. I know she's going to try to avoid this. If the constable can't serve her in person the clerk has to mail it and she then has 11 days from the day of mailing for the 10 day period beofre I can file a writ of ejectiment.(24 hour notice before deputy puts her out) So I'm possibly looking at up to 51 days or so.
My girl is on board that her mom isn't helpable. We had a long talk yesterday. Her momhas either fired or quit her latest job. (I haven't asked because she won't tell the truth either way) All she's doing is drinking.
And I know what you mean Lanny, thing is her mom gave her a roten chilhood and was in jail for half of it. (literally fed time) My girl still hasnt told me the whole story on that. And it was all downhill for my girl after that.
Her mom spent the last 13odd years living in the projects and basically becoming a nigger. She consumes malt liquor and watches tv/listens to radio all day and has no desire to work while blaming everyone but herself for her lot in life.
Once she's out I'm havingherput on tresspass notice.
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2015-08-30 at 5:48 PM UTCBlah, just for fun, could you post her reaction if it's good, maybe even livestream it on tinychat? The latter could be good for you, you'd have some witnesses.
