2019-02-04 at 8:59 AM UTC
I looked in the mirror, and realized I might actually be decent looking if I got my shit together. Feels good man.
Let's all do Pilates and hang potted plants from our taints to help open our balloon knot chakras
2019-02-04 at 9:28 AM UTC
I mean we really should just take time to be grateful. Not vain... But just appreciate the genetic lottery you've won.
There are probably millions of men out there who would kill to be a broad shouldered, funny, intelligent, insightful, tall, hardy, stout-cocked Viking war chief like yours truly.
If I lost 60 lb, had some clothes tailored and took my dads last name, I could probably convince some people I'm going to inherit his money and start slangin shot glasses of my baby gravy for $20 a pop.
2019-02-04 at 9:29 AM UTC
okay this is the third time i've had this same deja vu, I'm pretty sure we've had these exact same posts in this order before at least two times
2019-02-04 at 9:34 AM UTC
Rizzo and I are going to get some expensive clothes, rent a car for a month, get fitted for ironic grills, and start building our brand. Well have to do the desert festival circuit, but the years of rumored drug use will lend "authenticity" to our "core brand values" and within a year, we will be the newest EDM sensation. With a midi pad stolen out of someone's car, a cracked copy of ableton that no one ever bothered to learn how to use, and a whole van load of amyl nitrate..... a legend is born.
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2019-02-04 at 9:44 AM UTC
Losing weight is the easiest thing in the world, you just drink protein shakes and hit the gym daily - heavy weights one day, cardio the next.
I am losing weight right now, but I'm worried my cancer is back.
2019-02-04 at 10:10 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER
That's actually completely true. Wanna get Fitbits and be fit buddies?
when i can squat with you on my back ill know im fit
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2019-02-04 at 4:59 PM UTC
I told myself I'd get a gold grill with my tax refund, instead I paid off wing related credit card bills and bought a bunch of weed.
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2019-02-04 at 5:20 PM UTC
tendies related
I masturbated
2019-02-04 at 6:37 PM UTC
wing related credit card bills
you are the realest nigga'
2019-02-04 at 6:47 PM UTC
The fucking VA still hasn't sent me a 1099 so I can do my taxes thanks to the shutdown. I got fired from two jobs last year and quit one, lol.