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The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
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2019-02-04 at 8:59 AM UTCI looked in the mirror, and realized I might actually be decent looking if I got my shit together. Feels good man.
Let's all do Pilates and hang potted plants from our taints to help open our balloon knot chakras -
2019-02-04 at 9:21 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER I looked in the mirror, and realized I might actually be decent looking if I got my shit together. Feels good man.
Let's all do Pilates and hang potted plants from our taints to help open our balloon knot chakras
everyday when I wake up and splash water on my face, I look in the mirror and am like damn, what a handsome son of a bitch. i always surprise myself with how attractive I am, it's nice to wake up to. couldn't even imagine being fugly. -
2019-02-04 at 9:22 AM UTCI ate an entire cake
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2019-02-04 at 9:23 AM UTC
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2019-02-04 at 9:28 AM UTCI mean we really should just take time to be grateful. Not vain... But just appreciate the genetic lottery you've won.
There are probably millions of men out there who would kill to be a broad shouldered, funny, intelligent, insightful, tall, hardy, stout-cocked Viking war chief like yours truly.
If I lost 60 lb, had some clothes tailored and took my dads last name, I could probably convince some people I'm going to inherit his money and start slangin shot glasses of my baby gravy for $20 a pop. -
2019-02-04 at 9:29 AM UTCokay this is the third time i've had this same deja vu, I'm pretty sure we've had these exact same posts in this order before at least two times
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2019-02-04 at 9:34 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER I mean we really should just take time to be grateful. Not vain… But just appreciate the genetic lottery you've won.
There are probably millions of men out there who would kill to be a broad shouldered, funny, intelligent, insightful, tall, hardy, stout-cocked Viking war chief like yours truly.
If I lost 60 lb, had some clothes tailored and took my dads last name, I could probably convince some people I'm going to inherit his money and start slangin shot glasses of my baby gravy for $20 a pop.
i really need to get into shape myself, I'm doing not only myself but the entire world a disservice by being anything less than pure perfection. my eyes and smile could carry me even if i was 300 pounds tbh tho fam -
2019-02-04 at 9:34 AM UTCRizzo and I are going to get some expensive clothes, rent a car for a month, get fitted for ironic grills, and start building our brand. Well have to do the desert festival circuit, but the years of rumored drug use will lend "authenticity" to our "core brand values" and within a year, we will be the newest EDM sensation. With a midi pad stolen out of someone's car, a cracked copy of ableton that no one ever bothered to learn how to use, and a whole van load of amyl nitrate..... a legend is born.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-02-04 at 9:36 AM UTC
Originally posted by Rizzo in a box i really need to get into shape myself, I'm doing not only myself but the entire world a disservice by being anything less than pure perfection. my eyes and smile could carry me even if i was 300 pounds tbh tho fam
That's actually completely true. Wanna get Fitbits and be fit buddies? -
2019-02-04 at 9:44 AM UTCSoyboy IV: The Flower of Death and The Crystal of Life African Astronaut [the oppositely able-bodied hop-step-and-jump]
Losing weight is the easiest thing in the world, you just drink protein shakes and hit the gym daily - heavy weights one day, cardio the next.
I am losing weight right now, but I'm worried my cancer is back. -
2019-02-04 at 10:10 AM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-02-04 at 4:09 PM UTC
Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING IV: The Flower of Death and The Crystal of Life Losing weight is the easiest thing in the world, you just drink protein shakes and hit the gym daily - heavy weights one day, cardio the next.
I am losing weight right now, but I'm worried my cancer is back.
Yeah, it really is. Set a diet and stick to it. Going to the gym takes a lot more time and effort and costs money though. Do pushups and situps, use resistance bands at home. Run in place, but that will make noise and you'll seem silly.
I get to use the university gym for free tho, so I'll probably start doing that. Parking can be a bitch though. -
2019-02-04 at 4:59 PM UTCI told myself I'd get a gold grill with my tax refund, instead I paid off wing related credit card bills and bought a bunch of weed.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-02-04 at 5:08 PM UTCwings tings
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2019-02-04 at 5:20 PM UTCtendies related
I masturbated -
2019-02-04 at 6:31 PM UTC
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2019-02-04 at 6:37 PM UTCwing related credit card bills
you are the realest nigga' -
2019-02-04 at 6:39 PM UTC
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2019-02-04 at 6:47 PM UTCThe fucking VA still hasn't sent me a 1099 so I can do my taxes thanks to the shutdown. I got fired from two jobs last year and quit one, lol.
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2019-02-04 at 7:09 PM UTC
