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I shit 5-6 times a day and my stomach constantly hurts

  1. #1
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    I gobble handfuls of xantac and pantoprazole to no avail

    How long do I have to live?
  2. #2
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Only God can tell. But you should probably see a doctor.
  3. #3
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut
    According to my analysis, you have 4,063 days, 2 months, 3 weeks, 4 hours, 52 minutes and 42, 43, 44, seconds to live.


    45, 46, 47...
  4. #4
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut
    48..
  5. #5
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut
    Wait, the seconds supposed to be backwards, darn irrational time capsule. Work dammit! 😠
  6. #6
    jedi_darryl African Astronaut
    Excuse me while I continue reconfigurating my penis pump into a well converted time capsule. So far, it's been a failure, but I have brilliant Albert Einstein determination. This intervention will work! Even if I have to stick my dick in it! This will be my greatest creation.
  7. #7
    mikeyagain African Astronaut [unalterably regard the persecutor]
  8. #8
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Sophie Only God can tell. But you should probably see a doctor.

    My doctor is literally an arrogant American draft dodger who doesn't listen to anything I say. I need a new doctor
  9. #9
    Cootehill African Astronaut [my unsymmetrically blurry oregano]
    Are you farting/burping a lot?

    Are your shits all watery?
  10. #10
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    eat more probiotics you idiot
  11. #11
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Sudo My doctor is literally an arrogant American draft dodger who doesn't listen to anything I say. I need a new doctor

    i blame the jedis
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. #12
    the pat-man Tuskegee Airman [overshadow that snuff-brown nestling]
    probably something boring and chronic like crohns
  13. #13
    Siouxsie_Q African Astronaut
    5 to 6 times is quite a lot. What are u eating??
  14. #14
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Sudo I gobble handfuls of xantac and pantoprazole to no avail

    How long do I have to live?

    no one cares about your stomach

    talk about how good your asshole feels being constantly worked.
  15. #15
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Siouxsie_Q 5 to 6 times is quite a lot. What are u eating??

    nigger cock
  16. #16
    Haxxor Space Nigga
    IBS OP
  17. #17
    HTS highlight reel
    Stop eating dairy and gluten.
  18. #18
    Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]
    We're internet doctors and I have diagnosed you with Bill Krozby Disease. It's much like Crohn's Disease, except that you have a tendency to lie and rape women to make you feel better about your abysmally poor self esteem. If you would like more information, please visit Bill Krozbydisease.com
  19. #19
    WellHung Black Hole
    Life is overrated anyway you'll be much happier dead.
  20. #20
    Originally posted by HTS Stop eating dairy and gluten.

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