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The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.
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2018-05-24 at 12:06 AM UTCnah shes dead bro
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2018-05-24 at 12:08 AM UTCReally? If so I feel like an asshole
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2018-05-24 at 12:13 AM UTCIs Kreepy really dead?
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2018-05-24 at 12:31 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER
Now that Malice broke up with me because he thinks im a bad influence trying to convince him not to kill himself, I can sit back and enjoy this like the TOTSE of olde.
Too many reasons for this. I just can't handle the chronic dysphoria, not simply depression, but the inverse of pleasure/euphoria, anhedonia, the multitude of effects from Asperger's, brain chronically feeling inflamed, inability to feel any form of connection to others, ideological groups, anything greater than myself. Then there's everything that's been going on in my mind, constantly ruminating, for over 14 years. Incredible lack of any feeling of belonging or human warmth, complete lack of any experience that feels meaningful (An absolutely alien extremely isolated life experience). My worldview and philosophical viewpoints worsen it, even though I consider them the greatest of truths. Things would have needed to have gone radically different for this to have turned out well.
That's just the nature of deterministic reality, some people are born into states and go down paths that lead to a point where life is unbearable. It's not even entirely about unhappiness.
This just isn't getting any better and I don't think there are any treatments available at this time that could give me a life I would consider worth living. I fucked myself up way to badly and I'm not entirely sure why, it could be neurological, but it's degenerative, has progressively gotten worse over the years.
Once the point is actually hear, I do feel a great fear of death, even though rationally I know there shouldn't be, and feel I don't actually want to die, but could have the resources to recover and pursue ideas for projects I have.
If anyone shows signs of having any form of autism, even high functioning with a high level of intelligence, get them serious help as soon as possible and as warm and loving an environment as possible, a strong sense of belonging and meaning. This outcome isn't uncommon with people with my disorder, you have no idea what a living hell it can become. I've been feeling like hell the vast majority of the time for probably 17 years now and it's never getting better. I really wish I had been born to educated affluent White parents with good genetics who could afford a neurologist to rule out whether there's something like severe inflammation or a tumor(s) that keep making this worse.
Everyone here can probably understand what it's like to experience intense psychological and physical suffering, everyone has a breaking point when it gets bad enough and never ends. I devoted years, countless daily hours of obsession over research, to make life bearable and attempt to recover enough.
You can at least have the empathy to realize that you have to be in unbearable suffering to actually be going through with this. -
2018-05-24 at 12:48 AM UTC
Originally posted by NARCassist didn't you order that from some online mexican 'pharmacy or summing? it'd be funny af if you went to kill yourself to only then find out that the stuff is counterfeit and if you're lucky prolly barely has enough pheno in it to get you mildly high, let alone an hero yourself with the stuff, lol.
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I'm not dumb enough to fall for that. I did it the proper way. I'm very good with information. It's legit, and it's like under $20 a bottle in Mexico, it's not even worth counterfeiting.
Originally posted by DietPiano Learning how to IV by yourself is trickier than you think Malice. You have to play with some needles for a bit to really figure it out.
La vet clinic de mexico. The poor piggers that were supposed to be put out of their misery before they started an epidemic that will span 2/3 of the globe. Shame
No, you drink it after taking powerful anti-emetics. You pass out before you're able to inject enough to die. Maybe if it was potentiated with a timed release capsule of a huge dose of opioids and benzos or you rigged up a simple motorized contraption that would just keep pushing it to a certain point. -
2018-05-24 at 12:53 AM UTCDon't fucking kill yourself, my friend.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-24 at 1:03 AM UTChttps://www.lesswrong.com/posts/W3XpQDTEkaPQAuvHz/really-extreme-altruism
I'm thinking about doing some good with my death and getting the best life insurance policy possible, setting up a will so that it's all donated to either an animal charity or something related to artificial intelligence. Maybe the former because my influence could insignificant.
If I left some fentanyl laced heroin lying around and syringes they would rule it as an overdose, and I don't think they would have any problem with paying out. If you commit suicide within two years of getting life insurance it's either reduced (don't know by how much) or eliminated. I would need to research this, but at this level of depression and suffering it's the standard to be drained of all energy and motivation, any concern other than dying.
Setting things up so that my organs would be donated would be cool too, potentially saving multiple lives or at least greatly increasing the quality of their life. It's too risky, though. I don't want to take the chance of being found before I'm dead and spending the rest of my life forced to be kept alive in a state where I can't end my life.
I'd like it if I could set up a delayed message to be sent to everyone involved informing them of what had really occurred. -
2018-05-24 at 1:05 AM UTC
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2018-05-24 at 1:08 AM UTCHave you actually done Heroin before? Why not ride the H train for a while, maybe you'll like it.
Don't kill yourself, please. You might not feel it but we feel greatly for you.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-05-24 at 1:13 AM UTC
Originally posted by Malice Sorry, this terrible condition and life circumstances have beaten me. I'm 28 now, I'm pretty much fucked with how much damage has been done at this point and there's currently no real treatment for autism.
Stupid word enhancement....
Well, there isn't much I can tell you but I'm 28 as well and probably just as fucked -the autisms.
Have you ever met with a psychotherapist? -
2018-05-24 at 1:16 AM UTC
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2018-05-24 at 1:22 AM UTC
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2018-05-24 at 1:24 AM UTCHave you met one?
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2018-05-24 at 1:32 AM UTC
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2018-05-24 at 1:36 AM UTCShut the fuck up.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-24 at 2:20 AM UTC
Originally posted by Malice Too many reasons for this. I just can't handle the chronic dysphoria, not simply depression, but the inverse of pleasure/euphoria, anhedonia, the multitude of effects from Asperger's, brain chronically feeling inflamed, inability to feel any form of connection to others, ideological groups, anything greater than myself. Then there's everything that's been going on in my mind, constantly ruminating, for over 14 years. Incredible lack of any feeling of belonging or human warmth, complete lack of any experience that feels meaningful (An absolutely alien extremely isolated life experience). My worldview and philosophical viewpoints worsen it, even though I consider them the greatest of truths. Things would have needed to have gone radically different for this to have turned out well.
That's just the nature of deterministic reality, some people are born into states and go down paths that lead to a point where life is unbearable. It's not even entirely about unhappiness.
This just isn't getting any better and I don't think there are any treatments available at this time that could give me a life I would consider worth living. I fucked myself up way to badly and I'm not entirely sure why, it could be neurological, but it's degenerative, has progressively gotten worse over the years.
Once the point is actually hear, I do feel a great fear of death, even though rationally I know there shouldn't be, and feel I don't actually want to die, but could have the resources to recover and pursue ideas for projects I have.
If anyone shows signs of having any form of autism, even high functioning with a high level of intelligence, get them serious help as soon as possible and as warm and loving an environment as possible, a strong sense of belonging and meaning. This outcome isn't uncommon with people with my disorder, you have no idea what a living hell it can become. I've been feeling like hell the vast majority of the time for probably 17 years now and it's never getting better. I really wish I had been born to educated affluent White parents with good genetics who could afford a neurologist to rule out whether there's something like severe inflammation or a tumor(s) that keep making this worse.
Everyone here can probably understand what it's like to experience intense psychological and physical suffering, everyone has a breaking point when it gets bad enough and never ends. I devoted years, countless daily hours of obsession over research, to make life bearable and attempt to recover enough.
You can at least have the empathy to realize that you have to be in unbearable suffering to actually be going through with this.
I mean i bought a gun to kill myself with, but it didnt take away from the fact that I CHOSE to be a heroin addict for 12 years, and waste a huge chunk of my young life. But i can do things differently too.
I would think if i was isolated and friendless for 14 years, Id be looking to do things radically different before resorting to such dramatic options. But thats just me. -
2018-05-24 at 2:23 AM UTC
Originally posted by Malice https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/W3XpQDTEkaPQAuvHz/really-extreme-altruism
I'm thinking about doing some good with my death and getting the best life insurance policy possible, setting up a will so that it's all donated to either an animal charity or something related to artificial intelligence. Maybe the former because my influence could insignificant.
If I left some fentanyl laced heroin lying around and syringes they would rule it as an overdose, and I don't think they would have any problem with paying out. If you commit suicide within two years of getting life insurance it's either reduced (don't know by how much) or eliminated. I would need to research this, but at this level of depression and suffering it's the standard to be drained of all energy and motivation, any concern other than dying.
Setting things up so that my organs would be donated would be cool too, potentially saving multiple lives or at least greatly increasing the quality of their life. It's too risky, though. I don't want to take the chance of being found before I'm dead and spending the rest of my life forced to be kept alive in a state where I can't end my life.
I'd like it if I could set up a delayed message to be sent to everyone involved informing them of what had really occurred.
Youre such a dramafag. You better donate your organs dude.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-05-24 at 2:28 AM UTC
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2018-05-24 at 2:33 AM UTCI'll donate your kidneys to the highest Chinese bidder.
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2018-05-24 at 2:36 AM UTC
Originally posted by gumbo You're kind of a piece of shit if you don't donate your organs. It's as easy as checking a box when you go to the DMV.
I mean I sorta kinda understand for some people, because in cases where youre nonresponsive or the doctor believes you wont recover, it gives the state the right to collect your organs while youre not technically dead yet. But if youre TRYING to kill yourself in the first place.... lol. No reason not to do it.
