2018-04-24 at 2:26 PM UTC
Originally posted by the pat-man
it is weird how that works, my buddy's mom raped him when he was a kid and yet he has been torn up about her dying for years, i think its almost worse when the relationship is bad.
yeah I don't get it bro. USually someone shit's on me once I'm done with them. I went without talking to my dad for close to a decade. I guess it's the whole blood thing. She's been crying alot and not wanting to go anywhere and talking to her mom's ashes. A buddy was picking on me talking about, "well you said her mom would never be back in your house, but she got you on a technicality"
It's good to see you posting pat-man
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2018-04-24 at 2:46 PM UTC
It's been kinda nice having the extended winter weather. I spent january and february up in NC and saw enough snow to hold me over for another decade. It's fuckin hot and humid out already this morning. I hate summer in the south
2018-04-24 at 2:59 PM UTC
I've been looking to buy a house but all the yankee transplants have totally fucked the housing market down here. I've considered the upstate like Greenville. I thought about Columbia but it's nigger central
the pat-man
Tuskegee Airman
[overshadow that snuff-brown nestling]
raleigh is nothing but yankee transplants and indian tech support workers, something like 45% of north carolina residents were born in north carolina shits ridiculous. yankees come down for cheap living and then vote blue as if that's not the reason the inflated hellscapes they come from aren't capable of supporting a working class. between them and the mexicans/pajeets you might as well be living in new jersey.
2018-04-24 at 3:01 PM UTC
The apartment I lived in circa 2010 was 652 a month, that same apartment is now 1350. Downtown charleston is having to bus in workers for the food and beverage industry. Rent's gotten straight up retarded around here. In the last year houses have went up a good 50-75k for new construction
2018-04-24 at 3:07 PM UTC
the pat-man
Tuskegee Airman
[overshadow that snuff-brown nestling]
dude i cant imagine living in charleston, the traffic is so goddawful theres only one way onto that stupid island, when i have to be there at 9 i need to leave cola at 5.
btw colas really not so bad, theres nowhere im scared to drive or anything although i would certainly rather live upstate and i might do that when i get my house paid off. we're getting a lot of yankees too just from all the usc kids that stay for the "southern" culture. they've built like 20 apt complexes downtown and the rent starts at 1000 for a fucking cubicle, like I'd understand if it was a big metropolis with shit to do but it's not.
2018-04-24 at 4:16 PM UTC
I’m going to stop posting about suicide here, except for major developments. These responses are terrible.
Etizolam by itself definitely isn’t enough. Once the perpetual suffering caused by a GABAergic deficit and the myriad of effects stemming from it are remedied I’m still afflicted by a naturally low basal hedonic tone.
Above all, even when I’m afflicted by an overt form of suffering like this, it’s the emptiness of existence that’s unbearable. It’s not akin to a hole that can be filled, it’s a black hole that consumes and destroyed all.
In a certain way, it’s even worse than being profoundly melancholy and depressed. Lanny, I remember you once mentioning that there were certain albums you always listened to while in this state, possibly having mentioned that you may have a form of seasonal affective disorder that comes about around winter, IIRC, and that if you could you would stay in that state all year long.
Why is that? It seems to suggest that you understand, and it’s not as if you haven’t long had a proper understanding of this, that people can desire more than maximizing happiness, please, possibly even satisfaction/fulfilment (depression, to any extent, normally considerably reduces this sense).
What if the reason you enjoyed this state, for some of the same reasons you enjoy alcohol, is because you feel an affinity to, resonate with, the themes in what you experience in this songs and how they resonate with what on s deeper psychological level you feel is the genuine nature of the human condition?
Listen to the music the vast majority do, the conversations they have, the societal taboos on conversing about dark subjects that restrict your freedom.
And in music, alone, you find your refuge.
“This is what life really is.”
“The inexpressible depth of music, so easy to understand and yet so inexplicable, is due to the fact that it reproduces all the emotions of our innermost being, but entirely without reality and remote from its pain… Music expresses only the quintessence of life and its events, never these themselves.”
“Music is the melody whose script is the world.”
And under the bell jar even that can’t reach you.
2018-04-24 at 4:19 PM UTC
the pat-man
Tuskegee Airman
[overshadow that snuff-brown nestling]
this is going to sound very platitudinous but when i was all fucked up after years of drug abuse i found time consuming outdoor activities to help with the depression, fishing, kayaking, shit like that. ever consider that instead of whacking your neurons with more synthetics?
