FUCKING KNOCK, THEN OPEN THE DOOR

1. 2018-03-04 at 8:45 AM UTC

   #21
   

   Vizier Tuskegee Airman [spic of the devil]

   Originally posted by Enter No, Vizier. Stop.
   
   This isn't a fucking interview, it's a fucking conversation. You answer first and then I'll answer you.

   
   I don't believe anything you say and don't particularly care to, and you've been asking me what I do and how lately in all caps for some reason. I'm sure I already probably mentioned what I did back on zoklet. It's a boring 8-5 weekday office job. If one word would define my current life right now it's the word boring. So fucking bored; I wish I was asleep right now but I can't because some shit neighbor somewhere is blasting reggeaton music and my eyes hurt too much to do anything but read.
2. 2018-03-04 at 8:47 AM UTC

   #22
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by Vizier I don't believe anything you say and don't particularly care to, and you've been asking me what I do and how lately in all caps for some reason. I'm sure I already probably mentioned what I did back on zoklet. It's a boring 8-5 weekday office job. If one word would define my current life right now it's the word boring. So fucking bored; I wish I was asleep right now but I can't because some shit neighbor somewhere is blasting reggeaton music and my eyes hurt too much to do anything but read.

   
   But I thought life was good, you fucking liar?
3. 2018-03-04 at 8:58 AM UTC

   #23
   

   Vizier Tuskegee Airman [spic of the devil]
   It is, it's just boring lately. You might want to post the suicide-hotline number you "volunteer" at in case I need it.
   
   "Hello, this is Ashtrayan hotline, how can I halp?"
   "Yeah, I'm feeling really sad, I wanna kill myself"
   "Haha kick the stool ya dumb cunt"
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • The Self Taught Man, 
   • NARCassist
4. 2018-03-04 at 9:03 AM UTC

   #24
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by Vizier It is, it's just boring lately. You might want to post the suicide-hotline number you "volunteer" at in case I need it.
   
   "Hello, this is Ashtrayan hotline, how can I halp?"
   "Yeah, I'm feeling really sad, I wanna kill myself"
   "Haha kick the stool ya dumb cunt"

   
   the only time I'd say "kick the stool" is if I was inferring that you should kick the stool away from you, so you don't use it to hang yourself
   
   

   Show spoiler
5. 2018-03-04 at 9:05 AM UTC

   #25
   Nil African Astronaut [the overexcited four-footed chanar]
   Why not just masturbate outside. Problem solved.
6. 2018-03-04 at 4:14 PM UTC

   #26
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   just let them catch you masturbating and don't stop
   
   "well, why didn't you knock?"
7. 2018-03-04 at 5:24 PM UTC

   #27
   

   Number13 African Astronaut [dispute my snotty-nosed seagull]
   Your mom definitely wants your dick
8. 2018-03-04 at 5:31 PM UTC

   #28
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Enter just buy a new doorknob with a lock on it, they've like $12 at Home Depot.
9. 2018-03-04 at 6:04 PM UTC

   #29
   

   infinityshock Black Hole

   Originally posted by Malice

   
   that.
   
   either she'll never do it again or come back wearing lingerie.
   
   either way...you win.
10. 2018-03-04 at 6:37 PM UTC

    #30
    

    HTS highlight reel

    Originally posted by Enter I literally could never kill anyone. With all my talk on here, I actually do the opposite – I volunteer at a suicide hotline at my college. And yes I actually take it seriously, lol, even when they're women.

    
    No you don't.
11. 2018-03-04 at 6:41 PM UTC

    #31
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Can you imagine being dumped, losing your house, failing your exams, being suicidal and wanting it all to end, and then calling up ... Enter?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Vizier
12. 2018-03-04 at 6:44 PM UTC

    #32
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Issue313 Can you imagine being dumped, losing your house, failing your exams, being suicidal and wanting it all to end, and then calling up … Enter?

    
    "Look mate... I've been there. This one time when I was 15 a girl stopped talking to me. So I know all about what you're going through right now"
13. 2018-03-04 at 9:06 PM UTC

    #33
    

    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    imagine when he gets his dildo and then she walks in
    
    
    
    .
14. 2018-03-04 at 9:09 PM UTC

    #34
    

    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    'STREEEWTH ENTER, YA NEVER TOLD US YOO WERE A BLOODY HOMOFAGGOT YA DUMB CUNT'
    
    
    
    .
15. 2018-03-04 at 9:33 PM UTC

    #35
    

    Vizier Tuskegee Airman [spic of the devil]

    Originally posted by NARCassist 'STREEEWTH ENTER, YA NEVER TOLD US YOO WERE A BLOODY HOMOFAGGOT YA DUMB CUNT'

    
    Then dad walks in an says "OI SHEILA, I WAS ROIGHT I TOLD YA THIS CUNT WAS A FECKIN POOFTAH"