having to take a shit immediately upon waking

1. 2017-10-15 at 1:31 PM UTC

   #1
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   For some reason my body has been doing this lately and it's fucking annoying. I don't want to have to shit right after I get out of bed. Let me get some fucking coffee and eat breakfast and check the internet first. god damn
2. 2017-10-15 at 1:33 PM UTC

   #2
   

   infinityshock Black Hole
   just shit the bed. all the cool kids do it.
3. 2017-10-15 at 1:38 PM UTC

   #3
   

   bling bling Dark Matter
   smoke a massif bong of baccy and pood before u sleep
4. 2017-10-15 at 1:40 PM UTC

   #4
   

   infinityshock Black Hole

   Originally posted by greenplastic For some reason my body has been doing this lately and it's fucking annoying. I don't want to have to shit right after I get out of bed. Let me get some fucking coffee and eat breakfast and check the internet first. god damn

   
   sleep on your side so you can spoon with your boyfriend, then have him cram his dick up your ass as you sleep. instant butt plug...problem sovled.
5. 2017-10-15 at 2:50 PM UTC

   #5
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by infinityshock sleep on your side so you can spoon with your boyfriend, then have him cram his dick up your ass as you sleep. instant butt plug…problem sovled.

   
   lol that wouldn't even solve the problem tho because it happens when i wake up
   
   IDOIT
6. 2017-10-15 at 3:12 PM UTC

   #6
   

   infinityshock Black Hole

   Originally posted by greenplastic lol that wouldn't even solve the problem tho because it happens when i wake up
   
   IDOIT

   
   then dont wake up. problem solved, retard
7. 2017-10-15 at 3:15 PM UTC

   #7
   

   bling bling Dark Matter
   hold it until after brekfast so it comes out more rapid
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Panthrax
8. 2017-10-15 at 3:28 PM UTC

   #8
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   At least your blonka hole doesn't run dry
   
   I have trouble pooping
9. 2017-10-15 at 3:39 PM UTC

   #9
   

   infinityshock Black Hole

   Originally posted by mashlehash At least your blonka hole doesn't run dry
   
   I have trouble pooping

   
   in your case the solution is equallyas simple: when you're ready to shit tell your bf to pull out.
10. 2017-10-15 at 3:53 PM UTC

    #10
    

    Number13 African Astronaut [dispute my snotty-nosed seagull]
    I crapped 3 times today, the first being right out of bed, shitting is the devil.
11. 2017-10-15 at 3:55 PM UTC

    #11
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

    Originally posted by Number13 I crapped 3 times today, the first being right out of bed, shitting is the devil.

    
    How much do you weigh and how much do you eat?
12. 2017-10-15 at 4:01 PM UTC

    #12
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Better than having a piss boner.
13. 2017-10-15 at 4:04 PM UTC

    #13
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

    Originally posted by Needledick_Needledick_Needledick Better than having a piss boner.

    
    Agreed
14. 2017-10-15 at 4:07 PM UTC

    #14
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by Needledick_Needledick_Needledick Better than having a piss boner.

    
    piss boners suck too but it's definitely not worse than having to shit. all you have to do to get rid of a piss boner is stand there for a minute. when you have to shit you actually have to take a shit
15. 2017-10-15 at 4:52 PM UTC

    #15
    

    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    If you are thinking first thing in the morning of where you are going to get more drugs, that may trigger the shit reflex.
16. 2017-10-15 at 4:59 PM UTC

    #16
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by -SpectraL If you are thinking first thing in the morning of where you are going to get more drugs, that may trigger the shit reflex.

    
    well the first thing i need upon waking is coffee so that makes sense
17. 2017-10-16 at 10:03 AM UTC

    #17
    

    Number13 African Astronaut [dispute my snotty-nosed seagull]

    Originally posted by mashlehash How much do you weigh and how much do you eat?

    
    I don't weigh much, I'm skinny as fuck, but I had a bad stomach yesterday.
18. 2017-10-17 at 12 AM UTC

    #18
    

    infinityshock Black Hole

    Originally posted by Number13 I don't weigh much, I'm skinny as fuck, but I had a bad stomach yesterday.

    
    post nude selfies
19. 2017-10-17 at 12:17 AM UTC

    #19
    

    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]

    Originally posted by infinityshock post nude selfies

    
    You got a fetish for starved Holocaust survivors or something?
20. 2017-10-17 at 9:46 AM UTC

    #20
    

    Number13 African Astronaut [dispute my snotty-nosed seagull]

    Originally posted by infinityshock post nude selfies

    
    No thanks, considering it's pretty much only men here it'd be gay as fuck to show y'all pictures of me and even otherwise I wouldn't.