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The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-07-26 at 9:40 AM UTC
Originally posted by hydromorphone I truly believe if the environmental factors change for the better (his mother is a huge fucking cunt- she is a narcissist, to which I was able to identify my own mother and her as one from you posting something regarding them, and the subreddit raisedbynarcissists a while back, directed toward Sophie, I believe.) he will have a HUGE improvement. I'm not going to go so far as to say he wouldn't need meds, but… I think it might be a possibility She effects him worse than he gives her credit for, and has been conditioned to be abused, used, and manipulated by her for a long time. She's a huge part of his self esteem issues. I fucking hate this woman with a passion. If I ever go completely batshit, and go about to rid the world of awful people in a murder/suicide spree, this bitch is going on my list. I fucking hate people who hurt those I love, and it truly brings out the evil, sadistic side that stays hidden deep inside me… I want to fucking make her suffer for all the fucking bullshit and damage she's done to him… I truly don't believe he'd be this fucked up mentally if it wasn't for her… she's a resentful, self-centered, judgmental, argumentative, retard.
Have you ever directed him to the subreddit I showed you? https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/
I know he's highly opposed to sharing with strangers and he seems like he would be resistant to this kind of thing, although he could simply make a throwaway account and no one will know who he is regardless, but it could be highly therapeutic for him to vent on there, to put everything in reading, experience reception of his conveyance, and advice. -
2017-07-26 at 10:25 AM UTC
Have you ever personally met anyone who would be interested or willing to take part in the weird fucking ideas and projects I have in mind? Terribly unlikely, particularly among women in their 20s. Well, then again, there are exceedingly strange people in the world, who tend to cluster in high ranking universities. *shrugs* I don't hold any hopes, profound disillusionment would by far be the most likely outcome.
Your weird fucking ideas? Like what, raping Lanny?
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2017-07-26 at 10:25 AM UTCUghh..
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2017-07-26 at 11:41 AM UTC"Why couldn't it be me?" RisiR thinks.
Despite the impression I may give, there is a profound sense of comfort and security the hikikomori lifestyle can provide. An incredible minimalism that borders on, even delves into, a certain form of asceticism which can give rise to profoundly beneficial developments.
When the countless thoughts and ruminations are set aside, at times I can simply lay down on my back with my hands behind my head and I truly don't have a care in the world at those moments. Absolutely no fear, sense of shame, concern for potential loss, any desire. Learn about hedonic adaption, a terrible, yet wonderful, aspect of life. The past no longer exists, regardless of what may have occurred in your life were perpetually trapped in the present. Given how strongly influenced human beings, at the very least neurotypicals, are by the perception of their position relative to others, it can be truly horrifying to consider that, albeit possibly enabled with a simple pill*, someone can truly be far more content and at peace in this lifestyle despite their enormous effort and endless striving without ultimate attainment. Absolute detachment from all. A simplicity of life in which you do not even seek out or desire social interaction.
* "Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants." If simply taking a pill with acceptable side effects, a strong net benefit, enabled you to be content with your conception of an ideal, yet profoundly unnatural, misaligned with what humans evolved to be, lifestyle, how could you possibly argue that this life, the subjective experience, is inferior? -
2017-07-26 at 11:47 AM UTCYou didn't answer the question.
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2017-07-26 at 2:44 PM UTC
Originally posted by Malice Oh dear god, something led me to r/incels and I decided to check the top links for the month just for my amusement.
Apparently a fucking gang member who went viral online for his mugshot is now living in a mansion, driving a luxury sports car, and may even be involved with the heiress of some company: https://www.reddit.com/r/Incels/comments/6l3cv9/upvote_if_you_hate_this_cunt/?sort=confidence&st=j5khzwsu&sh=7ef959f1
https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/3408090/jeremy-meeks-chloe-green-wife-melissa-worlds-hottest-felon-topshop/
What is there to say? Have a laugh and shout the slogan "Annihilate the human race!"? Or at least the masses/low quality people.
No need to drag on and engage in deeper analysis. By this age it's become so trite/banal. Something that constantly occurs in various forms and is only good for a short lived chortle.
Fucking LOL
Lmao that guy is actually hot as fuck. Really funny to see ugly nerds getting pissed at him lol. ThankS for the Reddit link, it's a laugh riot. -
2017-07-26 at 2:53 PM UTC
Originally posted by Malice I mean, he went from that to this, and most amusing of all, he's literally dating a fucking billionaire's daughter.
What does this say about women? About modern capitalist-crass-consumerist society and the culture of the masses?
I can only imagine how her poor father feels, although given that he's in the fashion industry there's a high chance that he's a degenerate himself. What kind of people devote their lives to that atrocious facet of society?
And a such a large fraction of the population, particularly women, obsess and waste countless hours over frivolous nonsense such as this. Ludicrous. Why on earth is a mass culling so controversial and not called for by elites? If I was in a secure enough position where they were unable to ruin me I would regularly espouse such aims and finance organizations that aligned with thus.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-26T06:00:23.002942+00:00
Originally posted by Malice Hey, I just thought of a great, and laughably stupid, way to potentially incentivize low quality men to receive vasectomies, or at least the vasalgel once/if it comes to market. It would require an organization and campaign by someone wealthy and somewhat well known, or at least respected, a figure in academia.
I'll skip straight to the point, it should be simple enough to surmise. Create a viral campaign, fueled by controversy that stems from an outright avowed support of (voluntary) eugenics, an education campaign dealing with the myths and misconceptions and explaining why it is in fact a very good thing that is not unethical/immoral at all.
Finally leading to various forms of highly secure user specific identification verifying them as members who have enrolled in the campaign to receive such status at no cost.
Essentially, convince ghetto men to do so because they would receive an identifier that could simply state, and would be heavily marketed as such, "I can't get no bitches pregnant."
The immense benefit would be, as we would claim, that "bitches" would be far more willing to fuck with them if they knew there was no rirsk of pregnancy, leading to sex being attained at a far lower "cost" as well as a considerably higher quantity being attained.
Low quality people would be absolutely unconcerned and largely oblivious to the atomic bitchfest caused by various facets of white leftist culture.
Originally posted by Malice Wuh? Humans, particularly those in first world countries, which is what your post insinuates should be a global aim, a quality of life to be attained, produce unbelieveable environmental damage and consume massive quantities of resources.
The natalist viewpoint is utterly insane. Produce even more humans, which will only increase these problems, so that there will be more people to work toward the aim of reversing this and the possibility of those with exceptional calibre arising to develop pivotal breakthroughs?
It's the basis for what I regularly use as an argument against the view that creating life is a positive act: It creates a need where there was no need to be met.
Mother of god, that almost no one, relative to the global population, understands or has even pondered this to a sufficient depth, the implications, is horrifying.
"Genetic Slavery and the Will to Live". At its root it all goes back the problem of gene centric evolution, that tyrannical double helix. There can be no choice, all life, particularly human beings, must be brought to an end.
Originally posted by Malice Oh no, they affect neurotransmitters, the monoamines, in the brain as well. Incredibly dangerous misconception. You would literally need to rush to a hospital ASAP to avoid as much permanent neurological damage as possible. Even under the best circumstances there would likely be considerable apoptosis, even vascular rupturing. At the very least it would be an excruciating and horrifying experience that would land you in the ICU for days, or at least the general hospital under monitoring and treatment.
Really terrifying what would happen if someone were to make such an idiotic mistake, or were drugged.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-26T07:27:37.975345+00:00
Originally posted by Malice HBD, human biodiversity. The overwhelming percentage of the population in regions that remain third world would never contribute enough of lasting value to come close to being worth the cost. Really best to simply do away with Africa, the Middle East, and Latin America as a whole. They're lost causes, nothing but a waste of resources, including human capital/effort.
"basically solving the problems we have as a species and as inhabitants of this planet to advance the human race"
If there were no species, if we accepted voluntary extinction, there would be no problems to address! As to the objection that this would be a tragedy, so self-evident as to be laughable and unworthy of serious consideration or addressment: If the human race became extinct who would be around to miss us and lament our non-existence?
The advancement of the human race only fulfills needs that have no need to exist, due to the failings of mankind.
The only advancement I may be willing to support would be that whose aim were to make the earth permanently uninhabitable by sentient life, practically incapable of allowing it to arise ever again.
Didn't read due to pseudointellectualism -
2017-07-26 at 2:54 PM UTC
Originally posted by Malice The scene: May Day demonstrations/riots at UC Berkeley or in another part of the bay (downtown, Oakland, SF), with far left protesters in tow, as is standard.
Wearing a custom tailored suit and fine feathered hat, replete with monocle, made to appear as refined as possible a man known for his reprehensible far-right views and substantial wealth sips seemingly expensive champagne while looking down at the crowd for a time.
Then he unfurls a banner that simply reads: Arbeit macht frei
Of course the design would be in line with the theme of opulence, but I'm not sure if making the words out of genuine $100 bills would be too out of alignment. Certainly it's distasteful, as is the entire act in general, but it doesn't feel like the right kind of distastefulness. Then again, it would certainly evoke their ire, and what else would be so fitting, would do so to such an extent?
Hmm, no, I do believe it could be made to work. Of course it would require the right font, it would simply be a matter of the arrangement of the bills, which could be placed under a layer of fabric.
It's simply such a wonderful phrase with immense power. You could single handedly set off a riot. Of course the fallout from the media and various other factors would be immense as well. I feel the overwhelming urge to use it as a counter-protester against leftists.
Originally posted by hydromorphone He's taking Nardil, and has been on a kick about it being a wonder drug for some time now..fucking years… thank fucking GOD! he found someone to prescribe it to him, if not for him to feel better and recover from his mental issues, then to at least save us all from fucking constant bitching about it… I seriously was going to try and get it scripted to me just so I could send it to him to help if he hadn't have gotten it before I was in a position to do so… fuck, I might be doing it for PoC in the near future. It's fucking a shame it's so hard to get anyone to script it, when it does have a good success rate, especially with those resistant to other treatments.
I'm really happy he's got it, and it's showing good prospects, it seems. I also think other therapies, and his interactions with the kitty-cats are helping too, but I do believe him finally getting it made it easier to engage in these therapies, so…
I fucking wish PoC could fucking get on nardil but the only place he can afford (sliding scale since he can't get insurance for making too much $$) refuses to write MAOI's whatsoever, which is fucking a sin. (Hope you don't mind me mentioning it, PoC- I only bring it up because I care, and well… love or hate Malice, he's got a lot of good advice, insight and knowledge to lend). He was on mirtazapine (they refused to script him nortryptaline which besides an MAOI, was his first choice, for fear he might try to commit suicide with it) for a bit, but it was making shit worse… they switched him to effexor xr. He's been feeling shitty still, with some weirdness he's said, but hes giving it a chance to see. What's your opinion on effexor, Malice? I hope this works out for him… I know he's been in a really bad place for a while now… He's also looking into the ECT therapy, which this place does, and the shrink he sees is open to it in the near future, which I recall you'd mentioned while we were corresponding via email about. You got anything helpful to add here, Malice?
I truly believe if the environmental factors change for the better (his mother is a huge fucking cunt- she is a narcissist, to which I was able to identify my own mother and her as one from you posting something regarding them, and the subreddit raisedbynarcissists a while back, directed toward Sophie, I believe.) he will have a HUGE improvement. I'm not going to go so far as to say he wouldn't need meds, but… I think it might be a possibility She effects him worse than he gives her credit for, and has been conditioned to be abused, used, and manipulated by her for a long time. She's a huge part of his self esteem issues. I fucking hate this woman with a passion. If I ever go completely batshit, and go about to rid the world of awful people in a murder/suicide spree, this bitch is going on my list. I fucking hate people who hurt those I love, and it truly brings out the evil, sadistic side that stays hidden deep inside me… I want to fucking make her suffer for all the fucking bullshit and damage she's done to him… I truly don't believe he'd be this fucked up mentally if it wasn't for her… she's a resentful, self-centered, judgmental, argumentative, retard.
Originally posted by Malice Addressed to Hydro only, absolutely no need to read for those of you who are other mental fucktards with no self-control and who bitch about everything that doesn't go your way like the children you are (falco). Actually being courteous by using spoilers to make the thread appear less cluttered (As if the vast majority of posts aren't absolutely nothing but mere shitposts that provide nothing of value, even so much as mild amusement), enough with the TL;DR or I won't bother doing this (You're going to do it anyway, aren't you?).
Originally posted by Malice "Why couldn't it be me?" RisiR thinks.
Despite the impression I may give, there is a profound sense of comfort and security the hikikomori lifestyle can provide. An incredible minimalism that borders on, even delves into, a certain form of asceticism which can give rise to profoundly beneficial developments.
When the countless thoughts and ruminations are set aside, at times I can simply lay down on my back with my hands behind my head and I truly don't have a care in the world at those moments. Absolutely no fear, sense of shame, concern for potential loss, any desire. Learn about hedonic adaption, a terrible, yet wonderful, aspect of life. The past no longer exists, regardless of what may have occurred in your life were perpetually trapped in the present. Given how strongly influenced human beings, at the very least neurotypicals, are by the perception of their position relative to others, it can be truly horrifying to consider that, albeit possibly enabled with a simple pill*, someone can truly be far more content and at peace in this lifestyle despite their enormous effort and endless striving without ultimate attainment. Absolute detachment from all. A simplicity of life in which you do not even seek out or desire social interaction.
* "Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants." If simply taking a pill with acceptable side effects, a strong net benefit, enabled you to be content with your conception of an ideal, yet profoundly unnatural, misaligned with what humans evolved to be, lifestyle, how could you possibly argue that this life, the subjective experience, is inferior?
Literally didn't read. -
2017-07-26 at 3:55 PM UTC
Originally posted by Lanny new DOOM is a pretty fun throwback, it reminds me of quake era arena shooters, the satirical ultraviolence is fun although I'm not sure it's going to stay fresh for god knows how many more levels
i got 60 hours out of my first playthrough, turn the difficulty up to at least UV -
2017-07-26 at 6:51 PM UTC
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2017-07-26 at 6:53 PM UTC...
Post last edited by hydromorphone at 2017-07-27T00:23:33.299320+00:00 -
2017-07-26 at 6:59 PM UTChttps://www.reddit.com/r/DrugNerds/comments/6pnej2/psilocybin_as_treatment_for_autism5ht2a/?st=j5ld49gb&sh=6fbe2ed1
Psilocybin as treatment for autism(5ht2a agonism/mglu2 inhibition), relationship between autism and schizophrenia?
You know, it's interesting to think about deviations related to the 5-HT2A receptor as it relates to autism/Asperger's. In a way, I may actually be naturally far saner and more rational than neurotypicals, resistant to insanity. This is very different than the variety of (severe) mental illnesses I currently posses, that I've displayed and episodes I've experienced in the past, I assure you.
I distinctly noticed that even under fairly high doses of psychedelics I would remain surprisingly rational. As in, of course there were various profound modulations in the conscious experience, but my coherence, grasp of reasoning, always remained, I always felt like myself.
It's kind of like a superpower. Super-rationality and resistance to mental/cognitive incoherence, what I would define as "insanity".
Oh, I've got it! As to the aforementioned at the end of paragraph one, it should not be difficult to believe and accept that a normal person would have been far more damaged given everything I've experienced in life,in conjunction with my neurological abnormalities, the process of the development of my mind, my worldview/thoughts on all the various aspects of life etc. I've stated before that damn near anyone would have become hopelessly insane or committed suicide quite some time ago. So, as you see (Lanny), it actually supports my hypothesis after all and doesn't seem as ridiculous as it initially may have seemed. I was actually going for irony at first toward the end, but then came to this thought.
In fact, I'm so devoted and naturally inclined toward pure reason that I can even accept positions such as anti-natalism, ascribing a negative value to the creation of life and being opposed to it, and even the desirability of the end of all life in existence, despite them going in stark contrast to the strongest evolutionary forces that molded man and led to the strongest cognitive biases and being profoundly counterintuitive, arguably the most counterintuitive and difficult positions to fully grasp, without hesitation, any emotional interference, or cognitive biases interfering. If it were determined that consciousness/identity were "illusory" or that it the optimal/most reasonable choice was non-existence I would commit suicide without hesitation simply due to how remarkably reasonable I am. If anything it could prove I was potentially the most reasonable being in known existence, possibly ever to have existed, as far as we know.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-26T19:17:12.382842+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-26 at 7:03 PM UTC
Originally posted by hydromorphone YES! Like, right after he got outta the hospital I did. He's resistant to share, or even just read… I suggested that he READ to learn coping mechanisms with people like her/narcissists, but he refused, because he says that reading about shit and talking about shit makes him worse, and just makes him feel shitty afterwards, such as when he's at the therapist. I've tried to get him to open up, and he's very resistant to talking about shit, thinking it's just to "vent" when I look at it more of like, giving someone (me) insight into what's going on and how he feels, that way we both can discuss a plan to make it better, or find a way to change, or better cope with the shit… but he doesn't see it that way, and struggles with anxiety in discussing it. Hopefully, we'll get past that with time and it'll get easier for him to talk to me.
As for benzos, I don't like how benzos make me feel, like you and PoC do. I think I can cope without medications, besides T-PAIN, if I'm in a better situation/environment, and well, it's a possibility might be able to as well… IDK, but I see his mother and his environment being the biggest factor in what is hurting him mentally the most, what has brought him to this point. I definitely need someone to be codependent on though, who'll help me in a positive way for a variety of my mental issues though… I have bad memory issues that are awful and cause me a huge amount of anxiety and depression and low self esteem, I fuck up simple tasks by over looking small, but obvious details… I really do need help with shit like that… I think Joe could use some support in different areas, and definitely we'll both be good for helping each other when our mental issues, leaning on each other to keep ourselves from falling down hard…
Thanks, Malice.
Originally posted by Malice You know, it's interesting to think about deviations related to the 5-HT2A receptor as it relates to autism/Asperger's. In a way, I may actually be naturally far saner and more rational than neurotypicals, resistant to insanity. This is very different than the variety of (severe) mental illnesses I currently posses, that I've displayed and episodes I've experienced in the past, I assure you.
I distinctly noticed that even under fairly high doses of psychedelics I would remain surprisingly rational. As in, of course there were various profound modulations in the conscious experience, but my coherence, grasp of reasoning, always remained, I always felt like myself.
It's kind of like a superpower. Super-rationality and resistance to mental/cognitive incoherence, what I would define as "insanity".
Oh, I've got it! As to the aforementioned at the end of paragraph one, it should not be difficult to believe and accept that a normal person would have been far more damaged given everything I've experienced in life,in conjunction with my neurological abnormalities, the process of the development of my mind, my worldview/thoughts on all the various aspects of life etc. I've stated before that damn near anyone would have become hopelessly insane or committed suicide quite some time ago. So, as you see (Lanny), it actually supports my hypothesis after all and doesn't seem as ridiculous as it initially may have seemed. I was actually going for irony at first toward the end, but then came to this thought.
Didn't read -
2017-07-26 at 7:47 PM UTC5001
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2017-07-26 at 8:42 PM UTC
Originally posted by Malice https://www.reddit.com/r/DrugNerds/comments/6pnej2/psilocybin_as_treatment_for_autism5ht2a/?st=j5ld49gb&sh=6fbe2ed1
Psilocybin as treatment for autism(5ht2a agonism/mglu2 inhibition), relationship between autism and schizophrenia?
You know, it's interesting to think about deviations related to the 5-HT2A receptor as it relates to autism/Asperger's. In a way, I may actually be naturally far saner and more rational than neurotypicals, resistant to insanity. This is very different than the variety of (severe) mental illnesses I currently posses, that I've displayed and episodes I've experienced in the past, I assure you.
I distinctly noticed that even under fairly high doses of psychedelics I would remain surprisingly rational. As in, of course there were various profound modulations in the conscious experience, but my coherence, grasp of reasoning, always remained, I always felt like myself.
It's kind of like a superpower. Super-rationality and resistance to mental/cognitive incoherence, what I would define as "insanity".
Oh, I've got it! As to the aforementioned at the end of paragraph one, it should not be difficult to believe and accept that a normal person would have been far more damaged given everything I've experienced in life,in conjunction with my neurological abnormalities, the process of the development of my mind, my worldview/thoughts on all the various aspects of life etc. I've stated before that damn near anyone would have become hopelessly insane or committed suicide quite some time ago. So, as you see (Lanny), it actually supports my hypothesis after all and doesn't seem as ridiculous as it initially may have seemed. I was actually going for irony at first toward the end, but then came to this thought.
In fact, I'm so devoted and naturally inclined toward pure reason that I can even accept positions such as anti-natalism, ascribing a negative value to the creation of life and being opposed to it, and even the desirability of the end of all life in existence, despite them going in stark contrast to the strongest evolutionary forces that molded man and led to the strongest cognitive biases and being profoundly counterintuitive, arguably the most counterintuitive and difficult positions to fully grasp, without hesitation, any emotional interference, or cognitive biases interfering. If it were determined that consciousness/identity were "illusory" or that it the optimal/most reasonable choice was non-existence I would commit suicide without hesitation simply due to how remarkably reasonable I am. If anything it could prove I was potentially the most reasonable being in known existence, possibly ever to have existed, as far as we know.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-26T19:17:12.382842+00:00
I definitely can see the rationality under high doses of psychedelics, and feel that using mushrooms helped me SIGNIFICANTLY with my mental health. I seriously need to trip soon... like NEED, for my mental health and to straighten my head out for a while... like despite all the stress and hardships I was dealing with, mushies helped me get through that WAY better than I could have ever hoped anything could. -
2017-07-26 at 8:51 PM UTCOh, and Malice, I did read about effexor WDs... its my biggest worry regarding it... hope it's not an issue.. but meh... *crosses fingers* I have my reasons to worry about it...
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2017-07-26 at 8:52 PM UTC
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2017-07-26 at 9:25 PM UTC
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2017-07-26 at 9:48 PM UTC
Originally posted by Captain Falcon Rookie mistake.
Knowledge is power. Not a mistake at all to gather more of it. While you're stuck being the same person, and acting childish, people like Malice and I are growing, collecting knowledge, and becoming better people, happier people.
I'm not like you. I use my empathy to care for others- care, worry, and love them sincerely, and build stronger bonds, and a tighter knit family. I use it to keep people from being alone, dying alone, and hopefully being able to take the love I share, and knowledge I impart (and also have reciprocated back, both love and knowledge) to help them, even if it only just lets them know that someone, somewhere gives a fuck about them. I use my knowledge and love not only to help myself, but to help others, where I can. I look past the bullshit, the fuckiness, the reasons that "normies", like you most likely, reject us, and dig down and embrace these wonderful people, who're only diamonds in the rough. Through that I get closer to being able to love myself, grow, be stronger, and rise above my problems, and become better than people like you. This give and take relationship shared is far more valuable than money, drugs, or other petty things I imagine you mistakenly hold in higher regard.
I pity you, pity your sad existence to where over looking the opportunities to reach out, touch people, and engage in a loving relationship, and reciprocation of that love and knowledge, leaves you with less than you could have in life, with things that cannot be bought, bartered for, stolen, or obtained in any other way than reaching out, and in turn giving a hand back to those whom might also be reaching out, and through dialog, time, and empathy, form a bond that's worth far more than all the money in the world. I'm so fucking lucky, and far richer than you, in that aspect. I've so many people here I've come to love and care about since I began opening myself up, reaching out, and also reaching back to those who're reaching out to me, or just struggling for someone to help them stay afloat in this fucked up world. I consider myself exceptionally fortunate to have formed these bonds, come to have these meaningful friendships, and deep conversations that help me grow as a person, and become a better, stronger individual, and likewise help others do the same. I also gain far more enjoyment, and fulfillment, and lasting memories, and have a lot more fun doing what I do, versus what you do.
You'll "didn't read this" and that's okay, albeit annoying and stupidly childish, but it just confirms to me and everyone else that matters to me, how much you don't have for being this rejecting, criticizing, intolerant human being who is deep down scared to open himself to things deeper than childish bullshit, and more meaningful-such as love, concern and compassion for others in and with their problems, hardships, struggles, trials, fears and even in just the deepness of enjoying company, in reciprocating relationships formed, like I have with several people here- and sadly, just gets off on your perception of disrupting those meaningful conversations between a group of people, or even just a person, such and with Malice and myself having a conversation. Maybe, deep down inside, you're just jealous of that... Jealous knowing that people here have formed these strong connections, and actually enjoy helping one another, or even just shooting the shit, and having a good time conversing... I definitely think you and Sploo are like that... I recall him asking Lanny to mail him drugs, and well, obviously, lol, that ain't gonna happen for him- but had he come into this community, and developed closer bonds with others he rejects, that probably would have happened at some point. I consider it the least important thing, when I've gotten drugs/presents, but it's definitely a perk to opening one's self up, and giving and receiving in a relationship formed. Truly is amazing how tight people who've never met IRL can become with each other- surprising, and I never would have thought, here of all places, I'd get that, and have closeness with a small little tribe of weirdos, just like myself... I think you and sploo are scared of not belonging, being rejected, and it's why subconsciously, you do it.
*sigh* I am a mushy, broken, fuzzy feelin' faggot right now, but I'm okay with that. Despite being alone proximity wise, I know I am loved, cared about, thought about, worried over, and those I love have genuine concern, compassion, and empathy for me, and I do to them, which makes me not alone anymore.... and it makes this depression, shitty life, shitty circumstances, and environment so much easier to deal with than if I didn't have it, and I am truly grateful for that. Truly fucking blessed to have found this, this hugely important thing in my life, where I'd be so fucked without... -
2017-07-26 at 10:01 PM UTC
Originally posted by hydromorphone Knowledge is power. Not a mistake at all to gather more of it. While you're stuck being the same person, and acting childish, people like Malice and I are growing, collecting knowledge, and becoming better people, happier people.
I'm not like you. I use my empathy to care for others- care, worry, and love them sincerely, and build stronger bonds, and a tighter knit family. I use it to keep people from being alone, dying alone, and hopefully being able to take the love I share, and knowledge I impart (and also have reciprocated back, both love and knowledge) to help them, even if it only just lets them know that someone, somewhere gives a fuck about them. I use my knowledge and love not only to help myself, but to help others, where I can. I look past the bullshit, the fuckiness, the reasons that "normies", like you most likely, reject us, and dig down and embrace these wonderful people, who're only diamonds in the rough. Through that I get closer to being able to love myself, grow, be stronger, and rise above my problems, and become better than people like you. This give and take relationship shared is far more valuable than money, drugs, or other petty things I imagine you mistakenly hold in higher regard.
I pity you, pity your sad existence to where over looking the opportunities to reach out, touch people, and engage in a loving relationship, and reciprocation of that love and knowledge, leaves you with less than you could have in life, with things that cannot be bought, bartered for, stolen, or obtained in any other way than reaching out, and in turn giving a hand back to those whom might also be reaching out, and through dialog, time, and empathy, form a bond that's worth far more than all the money in the world. I'm so fucking lucky, and far richer than you, in that aspect. I've so many people here I've come to love and care about since I began opening myself up, reaching out, and also reaching back to those who're reaching out to me, or just struggling for someone to help them stay afloat in this fucked up world. I consider myself exceptionally fortunate to have formed these bonds, come to have these meaningful friendships, and deep conversations that help me grow as a person, and become a better, stronger individual, and likewise help others do the same. I also gain far more enjoyment, and fulfillment, and lasting memories, and have a lot more fun doing what I do, versus what you do.
You'll "didn't read this" and that's okay, albeit annoying and stupidly childish, but it just confirms to me and everyone else that matters to me, how much you don't have for being this rejecting, criticizing, intolerant human being who is deep down scared to open himself to things deeper than childish bullshit, and more meaningful-such as love, concern and compassion for others in and with their problems, hardships, struggles, trials, fears and even in just the deepness of enjoying company, in reciprocating relationships formed, like I have with several people here- and sadly, just gets off on your perception of disrupting those meaningful conversations between a group of people, or even just a person, such and with Malice and myself having a conversation. Maybe, deep down inside, you're just jealous of that… Jealous knowing that people here have formed these strong connections, and actually enjoy helping one another, or even just shooting the shit, and having a good time conversing… I definitely think you and Sploo are like that… I recall him asking Lanny to mail him drugs, and well, obviously, lol, that ain't gonna happen for him- but had he come into this community, and developed closer bonds with others he rejects, that probably would have happened at some point. I consider it the least important thing, when I've gotten drugs/presents, but it's definitely a perk to opening one's self up, and giving and receiving in a relationship formed. Truly is amazing how tight people who've never met IRL can become with each other- surprising, and I never would have thought, here of all places, I'd get that, and have closeness with a small little tribe of weirdos, just like myself… I think you and sploo are scared of not belonging, being rejected, and it's why subconsciously, you do it.
*sigh* I am a mushy, broken, fuzzy feelin' faggot right now, but I'm okay with that. Despite being alone proximity wise, I know I am loved, cared about, thought about, worried over, and those I love have genuine concern, compassion, and empathy for me, and I do to them, which makes me not alone anymore…. and it makes this depression, shitty life, shitty circumstances, and environment so much easier to deal with than if I didn't have it, and I am truly grateful for that. Truly fucking blessed to have found this, this hugely important thing in my life, where I'd be so fucked without…
Didn't read
