The Retarded Thread: Get off that bus edition

1. 2022-01-01 at 9:25 PM UTC

   #6961
   

   Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]

   Originally posted by Aleister Crowley Looking at former associates on fag book, all having fun and I instantly wanted to get fucked up. I've realised that since being sober I only need to look at someone and feel like relapsing.
   
   How fucking sad. This is going to be harder than I thought.

   
   Stop caring about other people so much. If you don't stop giving so much of a fuck you're setting yourself up for failure. Go to an AA meeting and find a sober bitch then dump her if she relapses and laugh when she calls you crying and cutting herself. If she doesn't relapse then you have a codependent relationship as a support system.
   
   Cravings for substances get less severe over time as well. How long you been clean for now?
2. 2022-01-01 at 9:27 PM UTC

   #6962
   

   Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]

   Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood xD
   
   

   
   I didn't know Margaret Atwood was a radical realist. I like her more now even tho I always kinda did. My mom is in Love with her
3. 2022-01-01 at 9:35 PM UTC

   #6963
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   Merry 2022, or whatever. 22 is my favorite numby so I'm gonna pretend that this year is MY YEAR to get my shit together and then probably just end up doing nothing and getting worse. Tee. Hee.
   
   Nah, gotta figure some shit out but it'll be AIGHT. I just realized the end of the year went downhill when I stopped killing myself every single day, so I think I might trying to do that again.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Sudo
4. 2022-01-01 at 9:52 PM UTC

   #6964
   Incessant African Astronaut
   It is your your MMQ. But you're right youll probably do the same like we all do.
5. 2022-01-01 at 10:52 PM UTC

   #6965
   

   Tyrant African Astronaut

   Originally posted by mmQ Merry 2022, or whatever. 22 is my favorite numby so I'm gonna pretend that this year is MY YEAR to get my shit together and then probably just end up doing nothing and getting worse. Tee. Hee.
   
   Nah, gotta figure some shit out but it'll be AIGHT. I just realized the end of the year went downhill when I stopped killing myself every single day, so I think I might trying to do that again.

   
   Buoy my soul with your rising spirits pls Mr Quantumm
6. 2022-01-01 at 10:57 PM UTC

   #6966
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by Tyrant Buoy my soul with your rising spirits pls Mr Quantumm

   
   Rising spirits as in... Sea of alcohol? Lol.
   
   I tried drinking once in the last 3 weeks and I got retarded after like 5 drinks, which was weird because I usually don't get retarded until 8 or so, depending on the VARIABLES. I think I might try again this evening to see where I'm at.
7. 2022-01-01 at 11:03 PM UTC

   #6967
   

   Tyrant African Astronaut

   Originally posted by mmQ Rising spirits as in… Sea of alcohol? Lol.
   
   I tried drinking once in the last 3 weeks and I got retarded after like 5 drinks, which was weird because I usually don't get retarded until 8 or so, depending on the VARIABLES. I think I might try again this evening to see where I'm at.

   
   Whatever, uplift me
8. 2022-01-01 at 11:04 PM UTC

   #6968
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   I can not lift you.
   
   I can't even lift myself.
9. 2022-01-01 at 11:04 PM UTC

   #6969
   Incessant African Astronaut
   Be sure to post in the Drunk Fred when you try again. We appreciate your tributes.
   
   I myself am drinking some IPAs and I plan to make some new years food to show G how it's really done. But I still don't know how to post pictures here.
10. 2022-01-01 at 11:06 PM UTC

    #6970
    

    Tyrant African Astronaut

    Originally posted by mmQ I can not lift you.
    
    I can't even lift myself.

    
    It's okay you are very buoyant fatty
11. 2022-01-01 at 11:08 PM UTC

    #6971
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by Tyrant It's okay you are very buoyant fatty

    
    Alright then well, get inside me and let's ride this out baby.
12. 2022-01-01 at 11:09 PM UTC

    #6972
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by Incessant Be sure to post in the Drunk Fred when you try again. We appreciate your tributes.
    
    I myself am drinking some IPAs and I plan to make some new years food to show G how it's really done. But I still don't know how to post pictures here.

    
    What is New Years food ?
13. 2022-01-01 at 11:11 PM UTC

    #6973
    

    Tyrant African Astronaut

    Originally posted by mmQ Alright then well, get inside me and let's ride this out baby.

    
    Can I cut a window in ur belly and ride in it like Krang
    
    
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • mmQ, 
    • Sudo
14. 2022-01-01 at 11:13 PM UTC

    #6974
    Incessant African Astronaut
    Collard greens and mustard greens for wealth. Pork for prosperity. Black eyed peas for luck. Pomegranate for fertility and abundance. Long noodles for longevity I think... Yeah that's all I'm attempting. Going to be made in three dishes
    
    Appetizer: Cowboy Caviar
    Main: miso ginger mushroom soup with vermicelli noodles, baby bok choy, cabbage oh yeah I forgot what it does but cabbage was something, and chicken
    Side: sauteed mustard and collard greens with bacon
    Dessert: left over chocolate covered strawberries from New Years
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • mmQ
15. 2022-01-01 at 11:14 PM UTC

    #6975
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    I thought you'd never ask.
    
    
    
    Please, cut me open and have your way with my insides. I have no qualms with you living inside my body on display.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Incessant, 
    • Tyrant
16. 2022-01-01 at 11:16 PM UTC

    #6976
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by Incessant Collard greens and mustard greens for wealth. Pork for prosperity. Black eyed peas for luck. Pomegranate for fertility and abundance. Long noodles for longevity I think… Yeah that's all I'm attempting. Going to be made in three dishes
    
    Appetizer: Cowboy Caviar
    Main: miso ginger mushroom soup with vermicelli noodles, baby bok choy, cabbage oh yeah I forgot what it does but cabbage was something, and chicken
    Side: sauteed mustard and collard greens with bacon
    Dessert: left over chocolate covered strawberries from New Years

    
    Daaang Daniel. Sounds P fancy. I'm gonna get fancy too tonight with some Casey's pizza rolls garnished with red beans and rice.
17. 2022-01-01 at 11:33 PM UTC

    #6977
    Incessant African Astronaut
    Pizza rolls are the shit
18. 2022-01-01 at 11:39 PM UTC

    #6978
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    I don't know why the fuck I added in that beans and rice part. I'm not doing that. It's just the plain pizza rolls.
19. 2022-01-02 at 12:49 AM UTC

    #6979
    

    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    I ate clam chowda and plain Jane lays chips, now I'm depressed and haven't showered in 3 days and stank like skank, clam chowda, shame, wet dog, sweat, burnt garbage and curry cream of mushroom and anchovie soup but I'm sitting nekkid outside the shower typing this instead of getting in, just delaying it so I can smell my lemony balls a little bit longer.
    
    I forgot like 7 other scents. Lemon Clam Chowda.
20. 2022-01-02 at 1:09 AM UTC

    #6980
    

    Bradley Florida Man
    im getting fuckin fat i feel like quick mix ready, i'm 188lb which is like 16lb heavier than when i broke up with my girlfriend
    
    i can't wait to move to jail
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Tyrant