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Posts by Dissociator
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2015-09-29 at 12:34 AM UTC in ITT: how to take responsibility for babbysNope, lower The usual roshambo breaks shit except I feel guilty this time because usually I punch a hole in the wall and beat up my dad but I broke my mom's Buddha ststue and a lamp . Not very valuable things in actual money but my mom believes in Buddhist sweat lodge shit probably since her sister, my aunt died of breast cancer in like 5 months, she knew she had cancer and by the time she went in and got treatment it was at like stage 3b Now thst I think of it that happened in 2010 I strated smoking in 2010 Started drugs in 2011 or 2010 from my dads xanax, which he has because he's a pussy , and then eventually I found a bottle of unused xanax my mom had from when my aunt was dying but I'm off topic I broke things with spiritual value thst my mom cared about snd I feel bad , I could go to jail cause even tho its like, the same as all the other ones I feel bad
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2015-09-29 at 12:16 AM UTC in ITT: how to take responsibility for babbysNot going to get into details because theres really nothing to explain. I fucked up, I know for a fact I can just be like "eh, shit happens " and live perfectly comfortable but that shits too easy. Basically I have 4 choices, 1. Pretend like nothing happened. 2. Dwell over it like a beta 3. Sign myself into a psych ward because I don't think clinical breaking shit is a crime if I'm under 18 and my parents didn't report it to the police immediately 4. Find a way of getting in front of a judge and getting myself into JDC like it should've been too many times
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2015-09-28 at 8:45 AM UTC in My dreamRegean smashbhf
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2015-09-28 at 5:15 AM UTC in Best show/series you've ever watched?House. No not because it's the vicodin variety hour, it can go all the way on the spectrum from situational humor to serious drama
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2015-09-28 at 3:27 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionHELL YEAH 100TH PAGE
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2015-09-28 at 3:21 AM UTC in SpectraL, how mad are you?Just fuck already
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2015-09-28 at 3:19 AM UTC in Ah shit...Jridoe93o3je
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2015-09-28 at 2:52 AM UTC in BLOOD MOON ECLIPSE SHEMITAH END OF THE WORLD PARTY!!!11!!1Fuck nj too cloudy to see
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2015-09-28 at 12:42 AM UTC in BLOOD MOON ECLIPSE SHEMITAH END OF THE WORLD PARTY!!!11!!1wait did it happen yet
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2015-09-28 at 12:38 AM UTC in BLOOD MOON ECLIPSE SHEMITAH END OF THE WORLD PARTY!!!11!!1i missed it
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2015-09-27 at 11:32 PM UTC in Interesting info about busparYeah but buspar also increases DOPAC concentrations, much like antipsychotics, so technically increase in dopamine isn't always good
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2015-09-27 at 11:30 PM UTC in DarkieRodent, doctor deletus should've aborted your fetus
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2015-09-27 at 11:12 PM UTC in Interesting info about busparSo, I've made a few posts about buspar, buspirone, the "shitty useless anti anxiety drug" and most responses are either it does nothing or it makes people feel worse.
Well, I honestly don't know how it makes me feel, probably better but because of my obsessive tendencies on drug pharmacology/knowledge of it, if it appears that something is an antagonist, etc etc than it triggers a negative placebo affect and makes me feel worse but after extensively analyzing articles on buspirone I've found some interesting stuff
Well, wikipedia says that buspar is a 5ht2 something agonist or whatever, turns out its only active on 5ht1a as an agonist like most non benzo anxiolytics. Some other sources cite that buspar is a dopamine antagonist on D2,D3 and D4 and others say its an agonist at presynaptic sites but I found an interesting article that states that it failed to increase L-dopa accumulation, which is what agonists do. But on post synaptic receptors it failed to induce catalepsy, which typically happens with dopamine antagonists like haldol, thorazine, etc. buspar combined with apomorphine in rats didn't significantly cause hypomotility different from apomorphine alone. So, that proves that its possibly antagonistic effects are very weak
So wtf?
Buspar increased tyrosine hydroxylase in the corpus striatum, so wtf again?
tl;dr - buspar is a shit drug [FONT=sans-serif]
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2015-09-27 at 11 PM UTC in Got my etizolamYo thanks for the info G
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2015-09-27 at 3:41 AM UTC in You punch your dad in the face for not buying you pot and he's all likeOk, sploos post is a quote of what I told him.
The reason why I hit my dad is because for one, he's not a provider. His name is on the deed of the house. He hasn't provided since about 19 years ago, when the home mortgage lender business he worked at was shut down due to reasons I cannot remember. So, that leaves my mother raising two infants while also having to work at an office all day, my dad was home back then, I remember being young and remembering hella beer in the fridge, my dad drinking all the time when he should've been raising 2 kids. I remember playing a CD rom game on an old desktop computer and the disc drive jammed, and I asked my dad for help, but he went out and got drunk. Didn't really affect me that much until my dad mentioned how that incidint got him to snap out of whatever and thats the day he became sober. My aunt, my moms sister was basically a second mom to me and my sister for a while raising us until we were old enough to start school. Yada yada yada, its not like my dad wasn't there for me growing up. He took me to little leage
soccer games, rec basketball, we went bowling and whatever, but I remember at age 9 I started having repetetive thoughts in my head of the word nigger and fuck, shit, bitch, etc because my dad told me when I was 8 years old "if you even think of those words, you will go to hell". So that triggered an already implanted ocd, and he also started talking about
how when he was a kid, he had ADHD and they put him in the trailer at school, aka back then a trailer where all the special ed kids went. He also told me that I had ADD and we had long conversations about it.
When I was a little bit older, my dad told me I should go on lamictal. What the fuck. I didn't even know what lamictal was. He explained bipolar for hours, because back then he was manic as hell, on stimulants, not taking his meds etc etc., this got me interested in drugs
flash forward to age 12 where I find my dads xanax and adderall haphazardly left out. All parents should know to keep medications locked away for little children and atleast hidden from 12 year olds-teens that could be curious about drugs
Well, he left them right on top of the fucking refrigerator.
Something something something, I also remember how my dad used to strike my mom when I was a kid, my first memory of it was like age 6 when my dad was screaming at my mom calling her a twat and a whore, and then slapping her and forced her to make him dinner, which he then through at the wall, while my and my sister watched.
Remembering those events and the fact that my dad started my drug addiction made me come up with an idea.
A few years ago I told my dad "Maybe not today, maybe not next week, maybe not in a year, but I will make your life a living hell. I will completely turn your life into nothing, for what you did to my mother"
And then the mental torture came on, sending him into psychotic episodes, but there have been stints of me and him getting along, up until he starts shit again.
And I'm not saying its not my fault. I have intermittent explosive disorder, have had it before drugs probably. Basically a blind rage without being intoxicated.
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2015-09-27 at 3:26 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Is that how you measure intellect? Your ability to use Google?
No, you assumed that by me posting the actual names of the drugs, not brand names, I was trying to appear smart or condescending, but in reality I was just using the names...posting the wikipedia link to the cocktail hoping you'd realize that I wasn't spouting out nonsense..
Or maybe you think I'm not smart because of all the drugs I ingested in order to sleep. Yes, that can seem stupid, to you it probably appeared as though I was a kid taking any old shitty drugs just to get fucked up.
I've tried reccomended doses of sleep aids used as prescribed, tried different sleep aids also the same way, generics, as prescribed.
After a while of realizing that this wouldn't work and that I can't keep getting 3 hours of sleep because I'm going to start a job next week, so in hopes of somehow fixing my circadian rhythm I took all those drugs. -
2015-09-27 at 3:20 AM UTC in Got my etizolamI got them from etizy. I took 2 to begin with, waited for effects. Over time taking safe doses spaced out as to not black out, I concluded that the batch of etilaam I recieved is bunk. No biggie.
Well, not bunk but weak.
If I happened to order the powder I would have to get a scale first, yada yada yada, but seriously the reason for the phenibut incident is because I misred the scoop dose and mistook the 500mg scoop as being a 50mg scoop. I wasn't being irresponsible.
I do want to go through the steps of recieving bitcoin, if someone could explain to me how to do it . -
2015-09-26 at 5:23 PM UTC in Got my etizolamTurns out usps was just fucking with me. Scheduled delivery has been saturday, september 26th since I ordered it 2 days ago, on account of I paid for express 2 day shipping. Shit goes as planned, recieved at usps facility in trenton, waited for mail to come, everything came but the etizolam. Then, immediately, the estimated date was changed to tomorrow. SUNDAY. But it came and I took 3mg but aint feeling it yet, its etilaam from intas, india. Some people say its bunk but I ordered this shit last year. Don't remember much. Good sign
tl;dr, I will probably end up taking the remainin 7mg and do some lulzworthy shit I'll forget about until one of you fags reminds me -
2015-09-26 at 4:16 PM UTC in ATTN: PLEBSright back at ya spudboy
news flash: we're all still clinging on to the totse/zoklet legacy
seriously
through 8 or so fucking iterations
we should all an hero immediately
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2015-09-26 at 2:38 PM UTC in I wonder what things will be like in 1000 lightyears.I don't know about 1000 lightyears but 2000 lightyears, that's a different story
