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Posts That Were Thanked by General Butt.Naked
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2021-04-27 at 5:54 AM UTC in Do you smoke?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2021-04-18 at 5 PM UTC in how many of you here who have never been anywhereImagine... just imagine... running back and forth in a small bathroom cell as two guys are chasing you and hitting you while a third is holding the door to prevent yoru escape as you shit your pants.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2021-04-15 at 7:19 PM UTC in OMG Chootie 2.0
Originally posted by mmQ So, as destiny would have it, I was just walking to the bowler and halfway there I remembered they dont open until 3. So, I stopped in my tracks and took a left turn weird little detour to go back home, and what do I discover, but a wild little babby Chootie wandering around in the STREET.
So yeah. I approached her and she didnt run away like I expected her to. I took her. I'm putting her on Facebook lost and found and gonna do all that but , I'm really really hoping nobody replies.
I just brought her home and gave her a huge dish of food which she gleefully HOUSED, telling me she hasn't eaten in a while. Shes really skinny. I love her.
It might be a him I guess I havent even CHECKED UNDER THE HOOD yet. I'm just excited. It's my new kitty now. His or her name is MINKLIN.
Same thing happened to me 2 weeks ago. I'd heard it crying out in the street for a couple of days and then on the Saturday when I was coming in from my car it followed me inside...I gave it some tuna and then kicked it out again. Few hours later I was at Walmart buying a litter pan, food, toys etc and a week later at the vets having it tuned up.
I called it the same name as my old cat "Kitty".
When I took it to the vet I left the "y" off the electronic form I had to fill out so they kept calling it "Kitt"...annoying to say the least.
Here's a pic of said rat...very clingy, wont let me use my Computing device without slopping its body all over me.
We are both Brothers now...cat brothers...we can swap kitten stories and shit.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2021-04-15 at 6:19 PM UTC in OMG Chootie 2.0
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2021-03-06 at 12:49 PM UTC in Post music for me to listen toThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2021-02-25 at 5:12 PM UTC in Have you met the one?WWEEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO RATTEX ALERT CODE ZED!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL PLEASE TUCK YOUR PANTS INTO YOUR SOCKS
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2020-09-19 at 2:08 PM UTC in Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead!!!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-09-19 at 2:07 PM UTC in Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead!!!Yeah she was a dumb bitch but every conservative I know is doing cartwheels over this and would collectively shit their pants if the roles were reversed and liberals were celebrating a conservative's death. "HURR DURR HOW AWFUL OF THEM"The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-09-14 at 4:34 AM UTC in The collapse of civilisationThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-07-23 at 1:06 PM UTC in ive gravely injured my toeIf you start to get the shivers go to the hospital. I had a similar situation a few years ago and ended up with septicemia and nearly losing my toe...all from having a blister that got some evil flesh eating bacteria in it (that also infected the bone).
Don't look if you are eating.
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2020-07-21 at 8:15 PM UTC in ive gravely injured my toeLooks like you're gonna need a toe truck.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-05-05 at 6:32 PM UTC in People like Don'tTell 'Em are not wearing masks, or social distancing , on Florida's beaches...you really reached for that rhyme. Ive noticed youve been doing this a lot of the timeThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-29 at 5:26 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Get off that bus edition"get off the bus"
What's this an intervention?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-04 at 11:03 PM UTC in Going to the supermarket AKA watch where you walkThere are multiple challenges at the grocery store. Some of which are by design just to fuck with you, and some of which are caused by annoying/oblivious people.
When the super market is very busy, navigating it is a huge annoyance because there are oblivious people everywhere. They leave their shopping carts in the way, they block paths, they walk slow; they are a general pain in the ass.
All people who are worthy of life are mindful of their movements at the grocery store. Be mindful of where you stand and where you walk. Be mindful of where you leave your fucking cart. There is most likely someone in the store who is not a pussy bitch gatherer who walks around aimlessly to slowly look and gather; some people are hunters who know what the fuck they're looking for and are going in and out at high speed low drag to be efficient. Hunters are not to be fucked with, so be mindful.
The root of the problem is society in itself. It is unacceptable to shove people out of the way, shove carts out of the way, climb over/ jump vegetable/fruit stands to navigate efficiently, or throw produce a few isles over in the stationary department. It doesn't matter how old or dumb you are, you should be shoved out of the way if you block a path in a place where parkour is not socially acceptable. Yet, shoving people out of the way or telling them to watch where they walk/stand is seen as "rude". 2020 everyone.
I, for example, slice the pie when I enter or exit each and every fucking isle. Slicing the pie when going in and out of an isle in super autist speed allows you to fly in there like a bat out of hell without bumping into/knocking down an old lady; because when you bump into a slow bitch you have to tell her to watch here shes walking/standing, which society apparently frowns upon. I slice the pie after I move a product on the shelf to see what is behind it. I hug the shelf and quickly move the product away, so that whatever is behind the product cannot see me when I move the product, and then I slice the pie into the new opening between products that I have made.
See: slicing the pie; i.e. how to check for people before entering/exiting an isle at the grocery store.
The other challenge in navigating a supermarket is in the fact that the whole place is a giant fatal funnel. The isles are just long hallways, which connect to other hallways on the other side. How the fuck are you supposed to clear all of that shit every time you walk out of an isle (T-shaped hallways)? Sure, you can do it, but I don't know how many grenades/ flashbangs you need if you're going in solo; fuck stopping at the end of each isle to throw a quick peek into their side, and fuck slicing the pie in one direction and then quickly turning to your six after you entered the fatal funnel and one direction is cleared. Turning your back to territory that you have not cleared is a really bad idea. Like, really bad.
See: fatal funnels; i.e. the place you want to be in for as short a duration as possible.
In order to be worthy of the gift of life, people need to vigilantly look around all the time in the grocery store. Weather slicing the pie in and out of isles, or just simply looking to see if you'll block anyones path before you put your cart somewhere, looking around is imperative. You deserve to be stabbed otherwise.
When I am at the store, I constantly scan 360 degrees all around. My head is like a sphere with many sensors which constantly spins in search of obstacles and threats. Think of a fast spinning disco ball, but instead of colorful lenses there are sensors.
Occasionally when I see someone who is dressing or acting in an unacceptable manner, the closest to them sensor homes in with great force, making my scanning sphere spin at great speeds. Having achieved liftoff using the force of the spin I look down upon and pass judgement on the informals.
I thank you for your attention.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-04-06 at 11:13 AM UTC in Is Mal fuckable?I'm of the "100% honesty, right off the bat" type and I can confirm that it does not work well. At all.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-05-14 at 1:50 AM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..Old people in their 80s were just middle age people going to discos and doing coke
this isn't the 1950s for fuck sakes.. ti's funny as hell hearing old people now vs the puritan times.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2016-12-01 at 4:54 AM UTC in Tami Stainfield - An American HeroBefore reading this post, please watch this video - it'll get you in the proper state of mind to be able to fathom the glory of Tami Stainfield:
Tami's currently a senator for West Virginia. She's also under house arrest for 'asking a police officer a question he didn't like'. Well, according to her. The police claim she used her car to block a police vehicle in a driveway, verbally abused him until he got out of the car, hit him and ran away.
That's not important though. What is important is Tami was running for president - http://www.tamistainfield.com/. My favourite thing about her campaign page is the banner at the top - where 2012 has been crossed out and replaced with 2016.
The campaign page is actually pretty tame and makes sense, outlining perceived issues with the two-party political system and corporate interests or oligarchies interfering with constitutional law and governance.
Her twitter (https://twitter.com/TamiStainfield), not so much. It's pure fucking insanity. If I had to pick a single post that epitomised it, it would be this:
There are so many delightful levels to her insanity. I cannot understand why (presumably) Loretta Lynch 'used a broom for her rise', except maybe as a vehicle for her nonsensical broomstick-rape line. What's more, the tweet she quoted has nothing to do with Lynch, cops, Haitians or broomstick rape!
I was going to post some more but now my head hurts again. Here's an interview with her:
http://www.vocativ.com/usa/us-politics/tami-l-stainfield/
----------VOTE TAMI 2020----------The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
